Oh I am so livid..I hate friendships

TANNER'S MOM wrote: When you are being taken advantage of!! Well I am so upset with my best friend. I had loaned her a round pen that you use for training horses. These cost around 700.00 Well Randy had said she could use it for a month and that was in August, So we needed it home so we could use it to hold in a bull that would has been getting out. Well I called her yesterday and she really didn't want me to get it. I could tell and she said suggested that I leave the bull in the pen until we went to the sale barn on Friday....okay I am not leaving my bull in a trailer for 4 days that's cruel. So Randy went to get it today...and it was tore to heck. I mean tore up .. it has 8 panels and a gate and we could only use 4 panels and no gate at all. Randy was madder than I have seen him in along time. He called me ranting and raving I went home seen the damage and I called her..and I said what in the world happend? She said I told you? I said no Jada you didn't. She said I knew this would happen.. I am thinkin ya you tore up something worth alot of money.. I said Listen Jada I am calling you cause I am trying to be nice here. I said you are my friend and I don't want this to ruin a friendship.. I said but you could've told me. She said I will replace it, But I cant right now. I said I am not asking you to replace it right now.. I am saying you could've told me. She was all defensive and I was trying to be nice. But the panels she has to replace are 80 a piece and the gate is 90 and its totally useless without it. I am very upset but I will tell you she was better off talking to me then Randy ...he was livid. But even he said.. if they told us it was tore up it would've been different. When I called her she could've told me.. I am so upset. What should I do.. should I blow it off.. or let it ruin a friendship??

redplaydoh replied: Hard to say. She should replace it IMO, but if she doesn't you'll be out the pen and the friend. I would not lend her anything in the future though.
The problem I see is that if she doesn't replace it, she'll probably feel guilty and put distance between the two of you anyway.
If you're in a better place financially to replace it then I would. You're going to have to anyway and she doesn't seem to be in a place to do that just now.
She should've just said up front what happened and this mess wouldn't be so bad now.

sparkys2boys replied: I don't think that I would let it ruin a friendship, i'd call her back and ask for an explanation as to how it got broke, and the yes let her pay you for it when she can.She probaly never told you for fear that you would get mad but never thought of what would happen when or if you asked for it back.Sorry that things are all messed up. Hope you all can work it out.

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well I am not in the place to replace it either.. I am just as broke as the next person. Her attitude I think was what pissed me off..but I guess we shall see.

cameragirl21 replied: i would be mad too...she obviously didn't take care of and respect your things. i can't imagine that i would ever borrow something from someone and ruin it and then not tell them...i'd tell them right away and offer to replace it...did she think you would just forget about it?
i would have a talk with her about respect and respecting your property when it's in her care. if she seems like she doesn't care and can't see why you're upset then it's not so much a matter of ruining a friendship over this...what kind of friend would disrespect you like that?!
incidentally, i would say never to lend anything of serious value to a friend--you may lose both.

moped replied: Oh that sucks.....well you could just talk it out and hopefully work soemthing out and not ruin a freindship at all - i am sorry mel

CantWait replied: I'd give her the silent treatment for a bit. Maybe she'll realize what she did. That's horrible IMHO.

luvmykids replied: I'm sorry, I know how bad it is to need your panels! But it's always a bad deal when friends treat you and/or your things so poorly. As for would I ruin a friendship, it would depend....but then again I'd wonder a little about the friendship to begin with if they didn't at least tell me about it. I know I'm extra careful when I borrow anything and I expect the same in return.

I'm really curious, what the heck did she do to those panels? They aren't exactly fragile

punkeemunkee'smom replied:

I was thinking the exact same thing! We have had some horses,bulls,cows go to kicking on those things and not torn them up to that point! Where is your gate? I don't know girl...I think to me this may be the straw that broke a VERY patient camel's back! You really have been the giver in this relationship and I know you are willing to let alot slide and it is not as easy as just cutting ties but I would be very angry It is like you said...It is not so much the damage as it is the fact she blew it off I am sorry,Mel! You are an amazing friend and such a generous person-It sucks that she is using that to her advantage! BTDT, got the t-shirt, and I hate it that you are dealing with it too!

TheOaf66 replied: that is a toughie mel, I guess I would see if they are going to make it right or just keep stringin you along, there is a point when you have to stop being friendly and think of yourself. I do agree that they should have told you about the damage though.

J-rod replied: without reading other responses here is my opinion


1. if she was a TRUE BF then she would have replaced it already

2. if she was a TRUE BF she would have told you already if she couldnt replace it first

3. she woulda told you the truth

Boo&BugsMom replied: Did she even say she was sorry? I think I'd be mad about the pen, but the attitude would have made me livid. I have a relative who does not take care of things and I will not borrow her anything anymore. I find it totally disrespectful when someone borrows something and they do not take care of things and respect other people's belongings. If her attitude would have been different, then maybe you'd feel a little less angry. In any case, I agree that I would not allow her to borrow anything of yours anymore.

holley79 replied: I would really like to know how the heck she tore then thing up also because I have had my share of horses, bulls ect bang the heck out of them and run into the dang things and not tear them up. I think I tore up a panel one time because I backed my trailer into it . Anyway, as R rod said she should have already said something. She should also replace it. It's not something cheap to replace and you didn't tear it up therefore you shouldn't have to pay replacement costs. She needs to come up with the money and for her to even suggest leaving the bull in the trailer till sale day is just absurd. If you were closer, Mel I would let you borrow mine in a heartbeat. It's just sitting in my FIL's barn right now not even being used.

Mommy2BAK replied: Oh man Mel! I would be very upset too. It sucks that you were being nice and loaning that to her and she didn't take proper care and then didn't even bother to mention to you what ahd really happend. I'm sorry, I wouldn't know what to do either.