Oh my...

Calimama wrote: I just got a message from some girl (her profile is private) on Myspace saying she slept with my husband a month ago and she just thought I should know.

msoulz replied: Makes me wonder if she is a nasty person who just likes to mess with people? I'd go with that - why worry yourself needlessly? But of course I'd mention it to the dh and look for a reaction because I am just that insecure.

Calimama replied:
That's what I'm wondering too. But she knows A LOT about him...

msoulz replied: Jealous ex? Friend of a jealous ex? Does he have a my space with that info on it? I don't know anything about myspace . . . but I do know hell hath no fury, as they say, and some folks are just not nice!!

moped replied:
like what?
That is odd.....

Calimama replied:
Rank, tattoo of my name (on his back, not visible unless his shirt is off) car he drives, how many tattoo's in total he has, his phone number..

moped replied: And what does her deal seem to be?
Where does she live?
Does your DH work away?

hopefulmomtobe replied:
Yikes, how in the heck would she know that kind of information. If some girl knew what kind of tattoo my husband has on his back (which he does) I would freak!!! Does he normally walk around with his shirt off? It could be someone close to you both, I guess it would have to be for her to know your name in order to look you up on Myspace.

Did it give her screen name or does it actually say 'private" when she wrote to you??

Calimama replied: He works about 30 minutes away when he's not deployed. Other than that he's never gone overnight, or rarely even late getting home from work. I asked where she lived and she said San Clemente.. which is the town closet to where he works.

lovemy2 replied: Where was your husband a month ago? Home or away???

Calimama replied:
It shows a picture, the areas she lives in, her age, and the rest is private. He doesn't walk around without his shirt on or at least not that I know of. The rest of his tattoo's are on his arm and shoulders.

Calimama replied:
Home. He left April 15th for VA, I think.

moped replied:
Right - I wonder that to

moped replied: Well I guess you could ask her some more details and see if any of it makes sense......I think I would.

moped replied: If it was me I would be pissed at her so I would ask her:

When exactly?
Where exactly?
What time exactly?
Etc

moped replied:
But VA is nowhere near St Clemente is it??? I don't think so, but I am not sure

Calimama replied:
No. San Clemente is in So Cal.. and VA.. is VA. She's trying to say it was 2 weeks before he left, but she can't give me a date? She said it was her apartment around 5pm. She's confusing the.. out of me.

mom2my2cuties replied: Something that struck me. I don't know what your husband's job is, but I know sometimes when they do the PT some of them, they rip off the shirt, do you think some girl around the base had seen him like that.

Or even maybe at a regular gym or something.

Calimama replied:
I didn't even think about that!

moped replied: This is puzzling isn't it......don't get upset jsut yet - if she can't give you any details then she might be COO COOO

DansMom replied: I would give him the benefit of the doubt. There are loads of tricksters out there who somehow acquire information and then make trouble. One variant is to phone people and leave a message referring to an indiscretion or affair.

You should mention it to him, but not as an accusation, and go from there.

mom2my2cuties replied: I think I would talk to your husband first. I wouldn't worry too much over it until you talk to him.

I think it sounds like someone who might have wanted to be with your guy and got turned down and is now trying to cause problems thinking she can move in. A lot of women play that game with military spouses because due to long deployments and time away from home, it is well known that a lot of soldiers "play"

HuskerMom replied: Does he mow the lawn with his shirt off and she maybe walked by or drove by and saw his tattoo? If she can't give you a date it sounds like she's stirring trouble.

Calimama replied:
That's what I'm hoping. Thanks everyone..

Calimama replied:
We have gardeners that take care of the lawn.

mom2my2cuties replied:
You can PM me or E-mail me at anytime if you need some support. I know it's hard to just wonder.

I'm sorry someone is toying with your emotions and especially concerning the one thing that means the most to you.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Could this be a work acquantence (sp?) or someone who perhaps knows these facts just from having coversations with him? Maybe one day they got into a conversation about tattoos and that. I dunno. Perhaps she has a crush on him and is trying to stir up trouble. I agree, give him the benefit of the doubt and talk to him. Show him who it was and everything so he can keep his eye out for trouble. I hope it's nothing.

hopefulmomtobe replied:
DITTO!

hopefulmomtobe replied: How does she know his phone number though?

Sorry, I just want to keep your mind working so you can figure this all out. Dont get upset yet though, it really could be some girl he works with wanting to make the move on him or something. I would show it to him, but yet keep my eyes and ears open just in case.

Sorry honey - believe me, I know how you feel. I have been there, but I got the bad outcome of it. I hope yours is a good outcome.

sparkys2boys replied: Im so sorry that this is going on. But dont jump to, to many bad thoughts until you speak to him. In the end its probally some jealous freak that wants what you have and cant get it so they are bound to make someone miserable. If she cant give yo all the answer to the questions that you have, thats sure sign its not true. Have you noticed anything diffrent wth him right before he left this last time? Hope this works out hun..

cameragirl21 replied: i'm sorry you're dealing with this, Denise.
i saw call her bluff--ask to meet her...tell her that you are livid at your DH (even if it's not true, pretend to totally believe her) and that you're going to leave him, etc and ask to meet her, tell her you want every detail so you can use it against him in divorce court. if she's lying she'll either back off OR she'll admit to lying and if she's telling the truth, at least you'll know what happened.
i agree about asking DH first but since he's away i guess that would be hard because this is the type of thing better discussed in person.
i can say, as someone who's been the other woman on several occasions that i have a hard time believing this story because i can't picture i'd ever have asked for an open confrontation of this sort, and we all know i'm not shy at all...it just doesn't make sense to me, what does she hope to accomplish?
if she's just trying to break you up because she's jealous or wants him but is lying then if you pretend to take the bait and call her bluff, likely her story will quickly fall apart or at least, even if she can stick to it, you'll be better able to discern if she's telling the truth or not.
there are plenty of ways to learn the info she gave you, the only way to really figure her out is to call her bluff and meet her, as of now you don't know who she is and if i had to bet, i think she's lying.

PrairieMom replied:
you can get any info you want off the internet now a days. If she knew is name she could do a white pages search, find his address, get his number that way. Maybe she knows some one who knows some one who knows about his tatoo. You never know. There are a lot of sick people out there that get off on making other people miserable. I say talk to you DH before you freak out to much.

lovemy2 replied: I wouldn't get into any more conversations with HER about any of this - if she is a crazy then that is exactly what she wants - my guess she knows him somehow - maybe she works with him and hasa crush, etc. like others have said and she now knows he is away and is trying to make you nuts....

Talk to DH and go from there KUP and I am sorry you are dealing with all this.....it has to be bad enough he is gone for a long deployment but now this....

lovemy2 replied:
I gotta say DON"T GO NEAR HER - who knows what kind of a nut she is....

mom2my2cuties replied: I have to agree. Going around her isn't a bright idea. You don't know what kind of person she is, and setting up a meeting with her could put you and Bella both in danger.

Calimama replied:
Not really. He's busy and can't talk much, the time we do get to, he's great. Girls hit on him ALL the time, no matter where we go. I really hope this time he didn't give into temptation or whatever. He should call me around 3 pm my time so I'll bring it up then. One of the things that really struck me is the girl said my DH said, " She won't know, she's too young and naive to put 2 and 2 together." He's said that before during a fight we had when a guy hit on me and I didn't realize it.

Calimama replied:
Yeah, if it were just me I might, but I'm not going to put my daughter in danger.

lovemy2 replied:
Just talk to DH about it before you get all freaked out....and I tell you what IF and that's a big IF it proves true - you don't want him anyway..............

gr33n3y3z replied: hmmm I would get as much info from her then throw it at him just to see what he does or says.

I hope its nothing

amymom replied: I agree... do not under any circumstances meet her.

Take care of yourself, and know we are here for you.

3xsthefun replied: I agree with most of what has been said already. I would talk to your husband first.

I hope it turns out to be nothing.

moped replied: Any news?

TANNER'S MOM replied: I don't know your marriage. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors. I do believe in a woman's gut feeling. I think we all know in our hearts when something is off or just isn't right. I think you should take all the evidence weigh it, talk to the woman, find out whether she is believable or not, talk to your Dh and then go with what you know in your heart. You maybe young but your aren't stupid. I have faith you will figure out what you need.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Oh wow. Sorry if this has been asked before, but does your DH have a myspace page? Because all I can think of is she found him by a random search, found him attractive and maybe they chat a bit. Maybe he mentioned that he has a tatoo on his back. Who knows. Like Tara said, people can get any information these days just from googling, so it's really no surprise. DH's ex finds us all the time and makes up nasty stories that I know aren't true. I just ignore her.

I personally wouldn't even bother talking with her anymore. It's not worth it even if it were true. Like everyone else said, bring it up to your DH and see what his reaction is. This is between the two of you, NOT the three of you. It's no business of hers. And I personally don't give her any credit for "thinking you should know". Please. Don't give her the satisfaction of feeding you more lies.

kimberley replied: sorry this happened. i agree with Lisa. find out all you can and dump it on him. see how he reacts. hopefully she is just some itch with a b who has a crush on him and trying to stir things up. kup.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: So...what happened?

You should email her and tell her that he has syphilis.

Ashlynn's Mommy replied: I have a myspace, and some of those people on there are just crazy, and like to cause trouble. She could just be a jelous freak. I would definately ask her some more questions. Talk to your DH. Tell him whats going on, and look at his reaction. Show him the message, and see what he says. You should be able to tell when you see his reaction, and then go from there. Always trust your gut instinct. Good Luck!

Calimama replied:


I talked to DH and he said has never or would never cheat on me. He said he's never going to find a girl that can measure up to me and that he thinks it's fate we are together. He was really understanding and said if I wanted to talk about it or needed to ask anymore questions than he doesn't mind a bit.

He thinks it's either a jealous friend or ex. Another possibility could be a girl he's in school with. She likes him and he turned her down and asked her not to talk to him unless it's work related. She made the comment to him that she's been known to "ruin marriages". They PT as a group so she's seen his tattoo, they all get lists of names and phone numbers, and she knows my name. Whatever it was, I find it sad that people go to these lengths to TRY and destroy someone's happiness for such a selfish reason.

Thank you everyone for being so supportive, it means a lot.

boyohboyohboy replied: I know it must be hard to not worry, or let your imagination get carried away right now, but the best thing is to talk to your dh and also as someone mentioned listen to your gut instinct.
I really wish you the best.

lisar replied:
I am glad he made you feel better. I hope it is just a girl that wants him. Sounds like it to me.

amymom replied: Just to add a few cents to it.

There are ways to trace computer talk etc. If it is this person he is in school with maybe it should be reported to the CO. Don't want anything to happen to anyone.

Crystalina replied: I'm glad it was nothing. There will always be someone stirring trouble won't there? You have a very handsome hubby so it's going to happen to you alot. Women are trouble sometimes. Especially the lonely ones who want what don't belong to them.

3xsthefun replied: I'm so glad it turned out to be nothing.

A&A'smommy replied: wow what a mess... I'm glad it turned out to be nothing!!!

gr33n3y3z replied: I'm glad your DH is understanding and I think I would talk about it more when he got home and it is sad that ppl. will try anything to mess up something good that others have bc they cant get what you have.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I am glad you talked to him and layed your fears to rest! Now if it is the girl that he is in class with I would talk to him about reporting it to his/their CO....You don't want someone that is obviously this to try and take it to the next level and make more (and worse) accusations against your husband. I really hope it works out and she gets a life!

BTW~ I find it funny (in a stupid way) that she called you immature You are the married one dealing with an absent husband and . SHE is the one trying to cause trouble!

Maybe try to find some other young wives on base and talk to one of them...I am sure they will be able to support you while you are waiting for DH to come home! In the meantime PM me anytime!

lovemy2 replied: IMO I think that MySpace stuff is really NOT a good idea - and this really proves it..................it took me a long time to want to post pictures of my kids even on THIS website...but I am confident now that it is pretty safe....

Glad all is well and it turned out to be nothing more than a crazy - but be careful - you and your daughter are home alone and even when DH is home you can never be too careful...

hopefulmomtobe replied: I am a former Military Spouse and if she is Military, she could get in a lot of trouble for this! I would find her and report her name to the proper person in charge of her. FOR SURE!!!

That is a bunch of crap! What a Stupid Girl! I really hope that is all it is and not anything more, but I think in order to find that out, I would push to reporting her and if your husband agrees, then that is all it was. But if he doesnt agree, then I would wonder why he would let someone do that to you without him doing anything about it. JMO...

I have been cheated on .... and now married to him so I know how it feels and how hard it is. Just feeling for you.