Oh my goodness . . . - Grr . . . long vent . . .

Josie83 wrote: Okay most of you know I have problems with my mother. well, like you all suggested I have been keeping out of her way and so have Cassie and Jason. yesterday when Jaason was getting ready to go for school, she barged into the house (literally just walked in). well, she sat down and started asking why I hadn't been round to see her, blah blah, Cassie had been on the carpet colouring in but when my mum came in she came to sit on my knee (she really doesn't like her). My mum had some general nasty comments to make, then started going on again abut whether or not Jason and I were going to take her to a speech therapist (remember how I told you the way she pronounces things cane be a little off). I told her she was fine, and then Jason came in. Of course when jason sat down next to me, Cassie climbed on his knee for a cuddle. My mother started banging on (get this) about how we shouldn't encourage Cassie to sit with her daddy like that, she'll turn into a spoilt little daddy's girl just like i was and come betwee Jason and I. At this point Jason told her to stop being ridiculous, and then told us he had to leave for school. So he kissed me and then he kissed Cassie, both of us on the lips. Now I don't know if its just me, but is there anything wrong with a two year old little girl kissing her daddy on th elips? Because when my mother saw Cassie and Jason peck each other on the lips she started telling us "you need to stop he doing that right now, that is disgusting, Jason you can't kiss a little girl n the lips like that." Is it just me or is there nothing wrong with that? Jason made her leave and I would have started to cry if Cassie hadn't been with me, I just don't understand why she does this to me. I'm sorry this was so long ad probably doesn't make sense but I ahd to jut get it all out! xx

MomToMany replied: No, there's nothing wrong with a 2 yr old kissing her Daddy on the lips, or having her sit on his lap. Hannah does it all the time!

I'm so very sorry you have a mother like that.

amynicole21 replied: Your mother is insane... sorry

~KARA~ replied: Wow your mother sounds like my mother in law!
Im sorry you have to go through this. There is nothing wrond with a lil girl kissing her daddy on the lips. Maybe she should worry a little less about stupid stuff like that and work on making her relationship better with you!

Boys r us replied: Well, good lord, she'd probably fall over dead if she saw my DH kiss our little BOY on the lips!!!!

You need to tell her to mind her own business! Tell her that she raised her own kids and Cassie is yours to raise!

Boys r us replied: and ya know..one more thing...if she thinks you're such a "horrible" person..then if I were you I'd have to tell her the next time she said ANYTHING about how you're raising Cassie.."You think I've turned out so horribly, well you raised me...I am a product of YOUR kind of child rearing..so what makes you think you're such an expert?"

TANNER'S MOM replied: I have 4 kid in ages from 14-6 and they all still give us pecks on the lips..I guess when they out grow it they will know and that will be a sad day for us. And my oldest daughter still sits in our laps every now and then when she needs a little attention! I think your mother has some serious issues to make something sexual out of something so innocent.......ISSUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

My2Beauties replied: Desiree will be 9 in 4 days and Brian still kisses her on the lips, I kiss her on the lips too and I am her step-mother, would she have a problem with that too? Sheesh, that woman has major problems...can we say psycho

Kaitlin'smom replied: sorry but i have to agree your mother is a bit on the cooky side.

there is nothing wrong with a daughter kissing her daddy on the lips at 2 Kaitlin does, sounds like she has some issues with the closeness you have with your dad (I am guessing you are close or at least she thinks so). Sheesh I kiss my nepwhes on the lips on occasion 10 & 7.

sorry your mother is like this

DansMom replied: I think she has issues about her own past, maybe things you don't know about. It sounds like she may have resented your relationship with your father at the very least, and blamed you for a loss of affection between her and her husband. She seems to have a lot of unresolved anger and pain---everything she says is like a red flag that she needs serious therapy. Is there any chance she was abused as a little girl and is not capable of seeing anything as innocent? Or is she just bitter and mean about a failed relationship with her husband when she played by the rules, and resentful that you've found happiness and bliss in a non-traditional way? It would be so good if she could get help in either case. You are doing the right thing in avoiding her, but I still think it will have to be directly stated to her at some point, especially if she barges in like that and asks you directly. The answer should be: "we're avoiding you because you are unfriendly to us, critical of our daughter and our parenting decisions, and psychologically disturbed in your thinking---this is not good for our daughter---get some help first and then we'll talk". If you were raised by her it will be difficult to confront her like that, but if she forces the issue you may just have to summon up the nerve to be honest and frank. It's the only way to possibly break the cycle and get things to really change in some way.

Alice replied: LOCK YOUR DOORS!!!!!

IF mom shows up unexpectedly in the morning, explain that it's a bad time, and invite her back later... preferably when the kids are napping so they're not exposed to her nastiness!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: OMG!! I would agree that your mother needs some serious help. Scotty kisses both of our children ALL THE TIME. I think it is important that they feel that affection from their father. Maybe your mother never had that as a child or in her adult life.

Stay away from her and lock your doors!

kit_kats_mom replied: That lady is totally messed up. ITA with Dans mom about what to tell her when she asks why you are avoiding her.

There is nothing wrong with little girls and their dads kissing or being close. UGH! How is one supposed to develop a healthy relationship towards men, and intimacy in general, unless it is modelled to her by her father and mother?

kimberley replied: steer clear of that nutbar. sorry, but your mom hasn't got the first clue about how to treat a child. to say these things at all makes her a cold, bitter, insecure, attention monger but to say them in front of Cassie is downright abusive! there is NOTHING wrong with a father kissing his daughter on the lips. she is his baby!!

darrylswifeskylersmom replied: im sorry u mom is soo mean... she was very outta line with her coments!
im sorry u have to go thru this!!!

redchief replied:
Me too!!!

ediep replied: wow! I am so sorry that you and your family have to deal with this, it is very upsetting. I agree with everyone else that she is looney and that you shouldn't take anything she says seriously.

Josie83 replied: Thanks every body for the advice and kind words. I know she does have some problems but she won't even admit them to herself, let alone accept any advice from anyone, especially me. She seems to have a problem with me and both of my sisters, but not my brothers. I think you're right in that she's jealous of us girls and the relationship we have with our dad in some way, but I don't really understand why - if she'd been more affectionate to her in the first place then we would have given her affection back. Who knows. Like you say, we're just going to keep away from her. I saw her briefly when I was on my way to school the other day and she started on at me organising the wedding, she wants us to start going to church to renounce or sins etc and get blessed in the Catholic church and have the ceremony there, even though that's not what we wnant. I told her that if she can't be positive towards us all then she should maybe stop coming round, but like I say we didn't really have time for a chat. We're going away this weekend tho so we're just not going to think of her! Thanks again for all your help and everything, it really means a lot xxxx

coasterqueen replied: No there's nothing wrong with kissing a two year old on the lips. DH gives Kylie kisses that way and when Kylie gives other people kisses that's the only way she'll give them. She gets mad when they turn their cheek to get a kiss there instead.

Josie83 replied:
Lol that's funny! See I didn't think that was weird at all, in fact i'd never even thought about it until she said that. Cassie doesn't give kisses out to many people, but she loves kissing me and Daddy. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it . . . okay lets face it my mum's a fruit loop! xx