Oh my my my! - What would you do? Or think?

Crystalina wrote: Ok, I posted earlier that I had a brain fart and said I'd be chairperson for the school Christmas party (Kindergarten actually). Well, I just recieved notes from the teacher and I now realize that "chairperson" means I do it all and try to get other parents to help with either money or time. I guess if they don't have the money then I make up for it? Who knows. So one of the "notes" I got says "Please insist that younger siblings stay home and they will have their party when they get to kindergarten." Oh. I would not be happy if I was told that. So what happens if your a single parent? you have to find someone to watch the younger one while you take one to a kindergarten party? So I'm expected to call these parents....ask for a donation and or their time and end by saying btw, if you have a younger child they cannot come? Should I totally ignore that part? or should I do it? She should have told me this before I said yes. I'm not a meanie and I had every intention of Evan going.

cameragirl21 replied: In principle, I love doing arts and crafts with children and I'd love to chair such an event BUT I don't love collecting money from people and I especially don't like to look like the bad guy in telling them that their youngsters aren't welcome.
So if I were in your place, I'd gracefully bow out and tell her that you weren't aware of the full scope of responsibilities and don't feel that you're the best person for the job.
I would never want to be put in a position where I'm forced to do something that goes against my grain and principles, such as (in this case) uninviting the kids' younger siblings who may have been looking forward to sharing this event with their older sibs.
JMO of course.

redchief replied: Is there a parent who has acted in this capacity for the party in the past that you can contact and see what was done in past years?

Crystalina replied:
Gosh, I don't know of any. Izabella is my first child in school and she's only in Kindergarten and I don't know many of the parents there yet. I could ask my neighbors but some of them go to a differant school district. The neighbors that I do know who's kids went there are in a middle of a divorce so I don't want to talk to them just yet.

C&K*s Mommie replied: That would give you a strong lead on what to say/or do.

quinnandjacob'smom replied: That's a tough position to be in! I wouldn't blame you for getting out or at least asking if the teacher can be the one to break that news to the parents. As a teacher, I've had toddlers in on my parties and it can be a total disaster. I understand why she might not want them there, but really she should be the one to handle that, not you. Good luck with your decision!

skinkybaby replied: I wouldn't be offended if someone asked for help but asked that I leave my younger kid(s) at home. If I couldn't find a sitter I'd just help get everything together or just donate supplies/money. Its a party for the kids in the class. Not their siblings.

skinkybaby replied: Maybe you can type up a letter asking for help and have the teacher send it home with the kids? If the other parents want to help they can call or email you. You can also include in the letter the part about the teacher prefering that smaller kids be left at home/with a sitter to soften the blow.

Crystalina replied:
It wasn't what I was expecting, I surely didn't know I had to pay for so many things but at the same time I really don't want to quit. kwim? I don't want her to think that I'm not a helpful mom or a quiter.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Come to think of it, whenever the school or Christian's teacher has something share with the parents, they safety pin notes to the child's back so the parent can be sure to see it. That may be an idea, sending a note home with general info on what the request is about monetary donations or volunteers. Or if what needs to be sent home is too big to pin to a childs back it is in their satchel so the parent is still sure to see it.

We had a parent/teacher meeting recently and we as parents were kindly asked to refrain from bringing children. I had no prob with it.

The suggestion about the addtional children, from what I read, is merely a suggestion. Not a requirement. If a single parent wants to attend, but will be bringing the siblings than that is that. She/He should not feel like an outcast for doing so. I would politely suggest it, but not enforce nor make it a requirement.

Crystalina replied:

I like the letter idea. I already have the list of volunteers. She got us at the parent/teacher conference so I already know who to call for help. There are 12 parents that signed the list. Maybe I will pass the buck as well and have one of them call.

I just mainly wanted to know if you (as a parent) would be offended if another parent asked for your help or money but then said that the younger child couldn't come. I think I would take offense and I've not attended many things because little kids aren't allowed. My little one is well behaved though and I know he will not act out or cause a scene. I think the teacher is going by pass experience so I can't blame her too much. But still...it's hard for all parents to find a sitter. And it's on a Wednesday evening also.

skinkybaby replied: I wouldn't be mad simply because its her job on the line. She's responsible for the kids in her class, not their siblings. Unfortunately there are too many parents out there that let their kids run buck wild and cause accidents that will get her in trouble and cause everyone a headache

Calimama replied:
Ditto!

lisar replied: They always said that when Lexi was in pre-school. There was always people that brought there younger kids though. And as for the money thing. If a parent couldnt help with the money then they always made do with what people did put into it. Dont know if that will help though cause I know there are alot parents out there that wouldnt help.

My3LilMonkeys replied: I wouldn't be offended - the party's not for siblings, it's for the class. If I couldn't easily locate a babysitter I might not attend, but I would certainly help out in other ways like setting up, baking, etc.

And Nicole....I am at the mental picture of a class full of kids walking around with notes pinned to their backs!