Ok, I've just go to ask... - who does what?

Farelle wrote: We have this ongoing....discussion....in our house about responsibility and who should be responsible for what. I think that my DH should be responsible for things like, the cars and things that need fixing around the house etc. BUT it seems as though I always end up being responsible for everything and that always leads to more....discussions........when I see that things are not getting done that need to be and when I feel totally overwhelmed bc I have too many things to do and can't even get one of them done while taking care of two active boys, 5 pets, a house and everything else.
So my question is to all of you...how do you divide up the reposibilities in your house? And do you have to constantly REMIND your DH (or wife) of them??

My3LilMonkeys replied: We share just about everything. He does not clean bathrooms or litter boxes and doesn't do the girls hair, but he does just about everything else - dishes, laundry, vacuums, cooks, bathes and dresses kids, etc.

We both just kind of see what needs done and do it. His eye is more general picking up and organizing - he rarely sees that the windows need washed or anything - but he'll do it when I ask him to. We will leave each other notes asking for certain things to be done, but it's pretty equal.

luvmykids replied: SUPPOSEDLY, the deal is I take care of the house and he does everything outside, meaning horses, yard, cars etc. But in reality, I do the yard and horses too And I do all the kid stuff...making lunches, baths, etc.

We're going to have to re-negotiate soon though because I'm not handling everything very well, too much goes undone and it's starting to feel it will never be caught up.

MommyToAshley replied: Our situation is an unusual circumstance as we both work from home. We share everything ... from work that has to be done for the business, work around the house, and care of Ashley. We have a few set chores that we always do, but as far as what needs to be done by whom really depends on the day. Sometimes I have a lot of work to do for the business and DH does a lot of chores around the house, and then the next day it may be the other way around. It takes some planning, and there are some hectic days when nothing gets done around the house, but it just all seems to work out well in the end.

lovemy2 replied: HA HA HA - Welcome to my world - there will be some discussions very soon about this very thing in my house - however - I think at this point we will need a counselor to mediate the "discussion"

boyohboyohboy replied: we share everything also, although he hasnt ever cleaned the bathroom...but i wouldnt want him too, we have different standards of clean..
but he does need me to tell him what needs done and he always does it, no complaints. he tells me that men are just wired different, and a dirty kitchen doesnt bother him as much as it does me, but if i ask him to clean it because it is bothering me, he will just because it makes me happy.

he also baths the kids for me...

bawoodsmall replied: Even though we both work his job his a lot harder and longer weirder hours than mine. I end up getting stuck with all the inside stuff most of the time. He does do all the maintenence stuff though and I do not mow the lawn. I tried once and it was taking forever to do one little area and our yard his huge. I let him finish it.

Our Lil' Family replied: We kinda have the outside-him, inside-me thing going on too but he does help inside. He normally takes out the trash, but seems like lately he doesn't notice that it's full so I do it. He will vacuum and do laundry without being asked but things like dishes he has to be asked, but I just normally do it.

As for Thomas (baths and diapers) we both do it but he normally bathes him.

Mommy2Isabella replied: Lets see ... I do all the laundry, most of the cooking, cleaning, and taking care of Bella.

That leaves sal, fix it if its broken, and .... oh thats right come home from work and sleep !!!

Kaitlin'smom replied: well be both do what we can when we can, I do however do more things inside, since cutting grass well i can do but I am terribly allergic to it and will suffer for days, normally when I ask him to do something he will get it done before he goes to bed but occasionaly he will forget, that does drive me nuts but since we both work full time our house is just not as clean as I would like but I have to deal and it will still be there but family time is so much more important to me right now.

moped replied: Ummmmm I do all cleaning, try to cook most nights, car for Jack when I am not at work

He cares for Jack 8-430 and cuts the grass...and naps

Crystalina replied: I think I do most of it. My dh is an owner operator (truck driver) and is gone alot. Plus we have this mini farm (horses, chickens, goats, ducks, quail and a peacock) which does not include our dogs. DH cannot be home to do it they cannot not be taken care of so I have to do it. Then there is the things that I have to do with the kids. DH can be gone anywhere from one day to two weeks. When he comes home he does all the animals and takes care of what has to be done out there. I always do the house and cooking (although if he wants a steak he's making it himself ). He just enjoys cooking his own steak. He always makes it home for school functions and that kind of stuff so I never have to do that stuff alone and alot of times when he comes home he stays home for a week and then catches up on maintenance. If he's only home for a day he uses that time to spend with the kids. The kids are always first on his To-Do list.

TheOaf66 replied: well Jennie does the majority of the cleaning
(I vacuum, laundry, dishes...the stuff she can trust me with )

Car maintenance, lawn mowing, litter boxes, snow shoveling...all mine (until Tanner gets old enough )

she does the planting of flowers and such and I just dig a hole where she tells me to (I'm her Oaf, I don't do pretty things )

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I do everything INSIDE the house and he does everything OUTSIDE of the house. He also takes care of our finances.

Calimama replied: I do everything when he's gone. When he's here I do most of the cleaning and he'll take care of the cars, trash, etc.

Twelve Volt Man replied: I do all exterior work. I am overly anal-retentive, so I end up doing most of the inside stuff, too. I take care of the finances, do all of the grocery shopping, and nearly all cooking. My wife is by no means lazy, it's just that I feel better if I take care of stuff so that I know it's done, and done right.

moped replied:
Oh you really are anal retentive........

Is that a cop thing?

Twelve Volt Man replied:
I don't think so. I think it's just a "me" thing. I just cannot relax and unwind unless I know that everything is done. Otherwise, I sit there thinking about what needs to be done. If I just go ahead and do it myself, I know that it's done, and I can then relax.

Farelle replied:

WOW!!! Do you have a single twin brother?!?! LOL I've said it before, my DH needs to take some lessons from you.

I think a better question for me to post would have been HOW do you get your DH to do things? My DH is really good about helping with the cleaning and stuff, he'll do dishes, wash the floor, vacuum, laundry all that "fun" stuff. And there isn't anything he WON'T do for the boys. My gripe is that there are just so many things that need to get done that he just seems not to take notice of and matter how many times I "remind" him, they still don't get done...like fixing the fence, car repairs, finish the carpet on the stairs, touch up painting, finish the shed, sand the rusty front railing, prune the trees, finish the closet doors....the list could go on and on........

coasterqueen replied: We share just about everything. I definitely do almost all the laundry. He'll help out if I'm working a lot and need help with it. He does all the cooking. Everything else we share. I used to do all the mowing, but lately he's been doing it all.

We now have separate accounts so we have split the finance responsibilities.

I'd have to say Dh does a heck of a lot more than I do.

ETA: He's not good about taking care of the rest of the outside stuff and car maintenance, but either am I.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
This it totally us too!

Troy can clean a lot of things ok, but my standards are way higher. I pay more attention to detail.

He mostly does cars (because he knows a lot, his dad is a mechanic), fixes house problems, pays bills, yard work like mowing, and mostly the mechanical stuff.

I do the majority of the house cleaning, but he frequents the dishes and vaccuming. I do most of the cooking, most of the laundry, even though he does pitch in with that but there is a lot I do during the week that he doesnt' see. I do planting and landscaping, but he helps if I need a hole dug. I paint because...well....he's a sloppy painter.

I'm more the tidy-upper and cosmetic person, he's more the mechanical and grunt work person.

ETA: when it comes to the kids, we share all the responsibilities.

PrairieMom replied: I pretty much do everything. I cook, clean do laundry, buy groceries. Pay bills, do yard work, including landscaping, take the cars in for maintenance, and odd jobs/repairs around the house. He, um... does his job. In his defense tho, he works long hours. He is actually really good at helping me out. The weekends when I work he does a pretty good job of maintaining things until monday morning when I get off.