Ok this was hard to answer - wow surprised me

TANNER'S MOM wrote: Well, I have been married before, and of course have to children from my first marraige.

Last night we were eating supper, the big kids were all out. And Tanner looks at me and he says mom when you were married to "Joey" did you do that special hug..


Oh mY god!

That is how we told him he was made, a special hug. I assume he figured since they were first, Joey must have gotten a special hug.. But I almost fall out of my chair..and my DH was not happy!

But I didn't lie, I said yes honey we did. But it was along time ago, and I don't think we need to talk about it at supper..

WTF?? would u say@

texasp3 replied: Oh dear... I'm laughing, but it's in total sympathy, believe me!

Michael is from my first marriage and I'm remarried now and have been for some time. Of course Michael has realized for years that his Dad and I must have had uh... special hugs. At his age though, it's all just gross to think about, of course. Mom having sex with ANYONE EVER is just WRONG.

I don't think Michael ever just came out and asked me like that. He did ask me if I loved his Dad when we were married... and I said that yes, I had. It was the truth, and I didn't want him to think he had not been conceived in love.

I think you handled the situation well. I think questions like that are best answered honestly and without a lot of elaboration.

Sadly, even though we've managed to be a happy family through the years, Michael says he doesn't want to get married because too many people get divorced. *sigh* I hope some lovely woman changes his mind some day.

3forme replied: Kevin is from my first marriage. Even though his father would like to deny that we were ever "in love" we in fact, were. I have told Kevin that his dad and I once had a happy marriage and we were in love. I too did not want him to think he wasn't concieved in love.

Good job explaining...er uh, changing the subject...LOL! I know Kevin knows "some" about the birds and bees but I don't know how much. I never have had a formal "talk" with him. Guess I should, after all, he is 12 now.

loveydad replied: my kids asks this like ..a long time ago and I just told them a condensed version and they lookd at me like "well, that didn't tell us anything but watever". They know mommies and daddys make babies. Kelton's really against having anymore, he keeps saying "NO MORE KIDS!. CONTROL YOURSELF!" that cracked me up,.

A&A'smommy replied: OH no that would be difficult!!

MomToMany replied: I think you said the right thing. My 3 boys are from my first marriage too. They have never asked me aything like that, but I would've said the same thing you did!

Boys r us replied: Tanner is from a previous relationship and he's asked me before questions pertaining to it or made snide little comments. He's known about the birds and the bees since he was about 5 b/c he was quite an inquisitive child and I've always stood my ground that I would be honest with him no matter what..so he knows about sex. Anyhow, he'll say something like, "you must have had sex with Ronnie..ewwww" and I'll say.."now WHY do you think that?" (just testing his knowledge and he'll of course reply,"B/c you made me!"

Anyhow, I think you were right in being honest, I'm a HUGE advocate in being open and upfront with kids, they're way smarter than we give them credit for sometimes! I understand why your husband would maybe have felt uncomfortable by the topic..but not upset or mad...he has everyday reminders that you and your ex did the special hug

kimberley replied: yikes! that is a tough one, but i agree that you handled it well. honesty is the best policy. i am dreading when my boys bring this up. Jacob is already confused about step parents. he thinks his dad should be Jade's stepdad and i keep explaining it to him straight but he still doesn't understand.

texasp3 replied: Kimberly... even at 14 Michael thought Gabriel should be a Roue. See, we have three last names in our house - DH has his, I have mine, and Michael has his Dad's - he as born Michael Roue and I don't change it.

So, Michael was all excited about having a baby brother, and DH and I did have to have some discussion about last names at that point. Michael really wanted his little brother to have the same last name that he did. I told him... Honey.. he can be a Berkson (DH) or a Williamson (me), but the one thing he can't be is a Roue.

Blended families can be confusing for anyone at any age, I guess.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I think you did the right thing. I don't have personal experience with this, but you were very wise in your answer. That will put him off for a little bit atleast.

Josie83 replied: It sounds to me as though you answered him just right mel! Honesty is the best policy! xx

Mommy2Be replied: OH MY whoa I don't even want to think about Gracie asking us something like that. Just the thought is makeing me freak out oh man. But I think you did an awesome job answering his question .

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I think you did the right thing. What an insiteful little man you have, to figure that all out.

I grew up in a blended family. I was 18 mths old when my stepdad moved in and stayed. My stepdad and my mother had 1 child together and there was me and my sister. All through school and anything to do with medical/dental etc. we had my stepdads lastname. It was never legally changed, but they just kinda gave me his lastname. My stepdads family never really accepted my sister and I. And my stepdad always treated my brother differently than us. He was always much harder on my sister and I then his own child.