Okay here is a tough question for me.

TANNER'S MOM wrote: Well my daughter Brittany is almost 17 and she is 4'8. She is technically a person of short stature. She is classified as a dwarf..thanks Google for letting me know that.

Here is the thing, she takes her height very serious. She hates to think she has something wrong with her, which she doesn't. She does get teased at school some. But I think a lot of it is how she takes it. Most people find her so cute. But she hates being teased.

Lately her height at home has bothered her. All of her younger brothers and sisters have outgrown her. She said well Tiffany (13) was always taller than me. Justin(13) is a boy he is suppose to grow when he hit puberty, but Tanner sneak up on her. She said he is only 8..he isn't suppose to be taller than me.

Here is my thing..ok.. I have a friend who works for the U of A..and she was telling me that Britt would qualify for a lot of scholarships and would get a free ride to school considering her grades if she went with the "dwarf/midget" thing. She would be considered handicapped I am sure.

So, Do I mention this to Brittany at all? Do I think of her education and funding or do I just see how far her grades which are excellent and always have been take her.

I don't want to hurt her feelings in anyway, but I do want her to have the best education too. What do I do?

gr33n3y3z replied: That is a tuff one Mel
You know her best if you asked her do you think it would upset her to classified as a midget/dwarf?

I dont want to say ..... this way sounds good but I would see where her grades get her first

Cece00 replied: Has she been medically declared a little person?

TANNER'S MOM replied: The doctors have said things, she was tested when she was little. But some of it is chromesonal and some of it is not. She doesn't have a chromesonal problem..but she probably has the kind that is on sat at puberty where their isn't enough growth hormone. But her height itself makes her qualify.

cameragirl21 replied: i just want to say, to clear this up, and i hope, Mel, that you don't take this the wrong way because i am telling you this to (hopefully) make you and Brittany feel better...that a dwarf is a genetic anomaly, not just a short person. a dwarf has many, many genetic characteristics and health problems that go above and beyond being short in stature. so if Yahoo said that, that is incorrect. in reality, anyone who is 4'10" or shorter is considered a "little person" which is a classification that dwarves take on as opposed to being called a dwarf or an elf or any other thing that people jokingly call them BUT Brittany being under 4"10" does NOT make her a genetic dwarf, it does classify her as a little person, which is considered a handicap/disability under federal law and does entitle her to certain benefits which she may or may not want to partake of.
i have no advice on this because i really don't know what i'd do if i were in your place. i have asthma, which is also considered a disability under federal law but i do not consider myself disabled because medicine keeps me able to do anything that you can do (assuming you don't have asthma). of course when you are short in stature then it is obvious, whereas no one who doesn't spend a great deal of time with me would know i have asthma if i don't tell them. so again, i really don't know what i would do in your place.
i just wanted to clear this up because i think it may be easier to take to be considered short in stature and therefore qualifying to be classified as a little person than to be told out of the blue that you are a dwarf. dwarfism, like i said before, comes with a great deal of problems (health, and also they get many surgeries because they have bone and joint problems due to the strain on their bodies) and luckily Brittany doesn't have those, unless she really is a dwarf which likely would have been discovered when she was a child. if she is truly a dwarf, then she has the type that the "munchkins" had in Wizard of Oz, which means that they look just like non dwarves but they are short, as opposed to the type of dwarves that have large heads and broad shoulders, whose bodies are not exactly in symmetry if you kwim. there are hundreds of different kinds of dwarfism.
at any rate, just fyi, and i'm not saying you should, this is purely for information purposes but those types of dwarves are able to get a certain type of treatment which consists of a series of injections that lead them to grow taller...pretty much to normal height, so just fyi, that may be an option if it is a concern to you but again, i know for sure it's available to a certain type of dwarves and it's not clear that Brittany is a dwarf, from what you're saying, she is merely short.
idk if any of this made sense, feel free to ask me to clarify anything that does not make sense.
ETA--what i meant to say is that just because she is short does not make her a genetic dwarf, but it still allows her to claim certain disability benefits because she is considered a little person but not necessarily a dwarf. i bring this up only because like i said above, i imagine being told you're a dwarf out of the blue can be a shock as opposed to merely being classified a little person. i hope that made sense.

Cece00 replied: honestly, i dont know what I would do.

TANNER'S MOM replied: . But I think I stated she was not the chromonsal type. She doesn't have that. So yes she is a little person. I don't mean Dwarf or midget in a bad way




ere are no height requirements to dwarfism or gigantism. Dwarfism is manifested by short-stature which is usually considered to be 4 foot 10 inches in height or shorter. The term dwarf was used to signify individuals with disproportionate short-stature (for example short-limbs or short-trunks). The word midget was used to signify individuals with proportionate short stature but the term is generally considered unacceptable these days. Proportionate short-stature was primarily due to growth hormone deficiency in the past. This form of proportionate short stature is now treated with supplemental growth hormone in children.

TANNER'S MOM replied: And Brittany knows she is Little..she just can't stand the labels.. you know.

TANNER'S MOM replied: Oh I would also like to add..that I do know what I am talking about. We have been to the Children's Hospital in Little Rock.. we have seen many doctors..

When she was a year old she weighed 13lbs..wasn't even on the growth chart, when she was in Kindergarten she wore a size 3t..

She hasn't grown really since 7th grade. She can still wear clothes she wore then.. anywear from a size 8 to a size 12..her shoe size is a 3 little girls. She is the size of most 8 year old little girls. Just so you know. Tanner outweighs her, and is taller than her.

She does have her woman hips which means sometimes she can wear the 12's and not the 8's in children sizes depending on the way it's made.

She is really a little person.

Boys r us replied: Wow..things sure got technical here!!

Back to the question at hand Mel..I don't know..I think you should perhaps make mention to her that you found some information on this and you just wanted to bring it to her attention that these benefits are out there.
Maybe prior to even mentioning it though, you could do a little research on this on your own to see how far you would have to go to "prove her disability". KWIM...
I think that might make it easier to explain to her on your behalf and also you'll have answers to questions she may ask right off.

BAC'sMom replied: Mel I think Nichole has a great idea.

luvmykids replied: I'm sure she's too smart for this but maybe you could put it to her that YOU know and SHE knows that she is just like everyone else but smaller, but that since it makes some things hard for someone her size there are things available....maybe if it's approached like it's not charity but a benefit of it, kwim? Like "Hey, there's college money for smaller people, work it girl!" Maybe that wouldn't work, but if it could be turned around to an advantage it might, kwim?

Good luck, I'd hate to have to try to make that decision

Kirstenmumof3 replied: That has got to be hard! I would think about the situation and then sit down with your daughter and talk to her about it! It may be difficult, but this might be something she would be willing to hear! Good Luck!

Danalana replied: Mel, I'm speaking as someone with experience...not in height, but with a birth defect (I know she doesn't have a birth defect, but it is something that makes you feel self-conscious). I have a rare disorder that is noticeable, although it doesn't limit me in what I can do...usually. Kids were horrible to me in school--as if I had decided "Hey, I would really LOVE to be so different that other people can notice and make fun of me!" Yeah, I came home crying a lot of days.
That said, I don't think I would have been offended if my mother had approached me with something like that. I might not have wanted to do it (depending on what it was and who would know), but it wouldn't have bothered me if she had asked. I don't know if that helps, but I hope it did.

Our Lil' Family replied: Jennifer, I don't think Mel needed a biology lesson and I think that was a bit uncalled for. She came to us asking our advice on how and if she should approach this with her daughter.

That being said, Mel, I think I would give it a little while before you talk with her about this. It's obvious that this is a sensitive topic for her. Do you have time to see how her grades are before looking into scholarships? Maybe by the time you need to start moving with scholarship applications things will be easier for her to handle this situation.

cameragirl21 replied: i hoped to be helpful but if i offended anyone i apologize.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I'm sorry she's having a tough time with her height, Mel. One of my very best friends in high school was short. Like 4' something. She had to shop for shoes in the kids dept. I remember her complaining about not ever being able to wear the jr clothes. BUT, she was so popular, bubbly, cheerleader, friends w/everyone. To this day I just love her to pieces. She learned to embrace her height and work it to her advantage. Just let Brittany know that we all have shortcomings in some way, we all are human and God made us that way for a reason. Ultimately we need to learn to love ourselves and love what God gave us. It sometimes takes years to do this, but pretty soon we accept us for who we are and until we do that, no one will learn to accept us.

I'm praying for you guys. What a hard thing to go through.

punkeemunkee'smom replied:

Oh Honey...everybody knows YOU do!!!

You will do the best thing for Brit! I know it will be a tough conversation but since there is a possibility it will help her with college it is a conversation you may want to have Britany will be thankful for the help and honesty!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Jen, I don't think Mel needed to be corrected, she has significant experience with this, as opposed to a quick search on google.

Abby, that was a little harsh as well.

That said... I think you could wait until a good time to make a "joke" about it... that she has an advantage...

grapfruit replied: You know, she probably has done some online searching herself, and realizes that she can be "classified" as a person of short stature (little person right?).

I agree, with her thought that labels can be hard, but college is a different place then HS. There's a lot of insensitive jerks at HS, they grew up making fun of you, so it must be ok even when we're 17. That sort of thing.

I think she might be more open to it then you may think. I say go for it, be sensitive (like I'm sure you will ), but let her know, hey, this is you, it's ok to be you, I love you as you are, but lets use this to our advantage! There's a world that is just waiting for you to make an impact on it, if your height is going to give you advantages take it, b/c there are a lot of other people that have shortcomings and won't ever get that help forward. Good luck!

I'm sure you and Brittany realize that there's always going to be horrible mean people in the world that will look down on you for whatever "difference" you have, but there are more people out there that will accept her for her. Ok I'll stop rambling now

coasterqueen replied: If she's that sensitive about it I wouldn't talk to her about it. You know your daughter best.

People take college grants for all reasons, because a parent died, because they are poor, etc - I see this no different than taking one because you are short. Those grants are created for so many reasons. Maybe a short person started the grant so to get those who are short to stop feeling like it's a disadvantage or a sensitive subject and realize it's ok. KWIM? Someone didn't develop it to make fun of anyone, I wouldn't think.

I'm not sure what to say. I guess if it were me I'd try to help my DD cope with the sensitive subject the best I could, which I'm sure you are, and help her see that there are grants out there for every type of reason - those who have blue eyes, those who have acne, seriously there are so many grants for ANYTHING and everything that IMO there is no reason to not take advantage of them. I know my co-workers DD applied for grants for being ADHD. That's something she's suffered with in school all her life, a sensitive subject, but she can't hide or run from it, so why not use it to your advantage type of thing.

hopefulmomtobe replied: Here is my situation, I am kind of in the same boat...my 8 year old gets driven daily to his school (he goes to a special class for learning disabilities and since they dont offer this at his district school, we drive him) Well, they said they would send a short bus to pick him up if we wanted. Well, the poor kid almost had a heart attack because he thinks that bus is for handicap children and didnt want to be classified as such, so we end up driving him (which isnt convenent for either of us since we both work) but it is what makes him feel better. That is really what matters.....what makes her comfortable. Good luck with your decission!

holley79 replied: I don't know Mel. maybe see how far her grades will take her first. if she wants to go further with her education but you dont' have the means then maybe bring up the scholarships.

MommyToAshley replied:
I completely agree with Aimee. And, I am sure you have had these talks with Brittany. Being a teen can be so hard and being even a little different is even harder. But, the thing is that I have seen pictures of Brittany and she is beautiful! And, from what you have told us about her, she is even more beautiful on the inside. It just breaks my heart to think of her getting down about this.

I think I would research it a bit further and make sure that she does qualify, find out what of documentation you need, and how much the grant is, etc. Once you have all the information, then you can decide if you think this is something that would truly benefit her. If so, I would probably approach her about her college options. I would have all the applications for other grants and scholarships as well. Then, I would approach this particular grant with sensitivity, as I am sure you would.

TheOaf66 replied: well I have some experience in this Mel, I had a g/f in HS that was 4'9" (Imagine her with me 6'3") anyways...it really does not limit her to lead a normal life. I agree that once she gets around some mature people it won't be a factor. I really think the decision would be hers but I do agree with Karen. If you go for a scholarship or grant or whatever based on the condition, you are drawing more focus to it...if she is sensitive about it I would only assume she would like to divert attention from it. I hope she does not see it as a handicap because it really isn't. If she is that sensitive about it I probably would not bring it up but hey you know her a lot better than I do so I wish you luck. With something like that though, it is only a "handicap" if she allows it to be

grapfruit replied:
That was well said Troy

jcc64 replied: Ita with Troy also.
Mel, I'm sorry your dd is struggling. It is so hard to get teenagers to accept themselves, whatever their particular anomaly may be. I just wanted to let you know that my M-I-L is also 4'8"- and she's done just fine with her life. I don't think she's ever perceived herself as damaged or handicapped in any way, and she's conducted her life accordingly. I think your dd may be able to come to terms with her height when she moves further out of the minefield of adolescence. Who DOES feel confident about her appearance at that age- I know I certainly didn't. From what I've seen, your dd is very attractive- and I'm sure she'll be able to overcome her issues with your support and all of her other achievements and successes.
As far as the scholarship thing, maybe you should wait for a more logical time to bring it up. That is, when she starts discussing colleges, applications, scholarships, etc., you could casually mention that you heard there are opportunities for people like her, no big deal, maybe she'd want to look into it. Kids this age can be so defensive and ready to hear your suggestions as criticism. If you bring it up now, with her feeling so sensitive, she may interpret your advice as your admission that you think there's really something wrong with her. Am I making sense, I'm having a tough time getting words out today, for some reason.

moped replied: Well I am not sure about this one, but I can tell you that ther are a few "short" people in my family.....I would say that they are short and not different at all but I understand your DD hating labels.

My answer would be to NOT mention it at all........................my fear would be that she would get upset and that would not be your intention!!!!

Mommy2BAK replied: Mel, I wish I knew what to tell you but I don't. You know her better than any of us. If she has superb grades then I would just let her focus on getting scholorships for academics rather than something that she might be a little embarassed to have to explain to others. KWIM?

By the way~ Brittany is a beautiful girl, and nothing can ever take that away from her!

mom2my2cuties replied: I was thinking about something after reading Karen's post.

Maybe wait until she is ready to discuss college and scholorships and stuff, and then pull out all of these funky grant things about eye color, blood type, divorced parents, whatever, and mix the height one in there too and instead of making it seem as though it's all about the height, maybe just a casual mention of that one, might make it seem less "freakish" to her. I remember at that age everything abnormal (even a zit on your forehead) made you feel like a freak.

A&A'smommy replied: That IS a tough question Mel, I wish I knew how to help you but I don't..

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Because you say her grades are excellent, I would encourage her to go with her advantages (not disadvantages) when applying for scholarships. I just believe that it sets the best example. I agree with a lot of what Aimee said. Otherwise I feel that she may focus on her "disability" as a way to get through life, sorta taking the belief that what I look like on the outside is more important than the inside (which would be her intelligence!). I know she is a smart woman Mel, because she has a smart smart MOM, but you know teenagers, it's all about their looks.

It is a tough decision to make...so whatever you decide, just know she will be fine!

jem0622 replied:

I would be very careful about how I discussed it, but I would definitely want to inform her of what she is entitled to...present it as an opportunity to do things that her siblings won't. She's a special girl and she should be flattered that her rights are protected and great things are available to her!