Older Siblings Babysitting

ctymom wrote: Hello everyone

I was curious how everyone feels about older siblings babysitting your younger ones. My sons are 13 and 16 in July. They are very responsible (2nd degree brown belts) and love their little sister more than anything.

My DH has no problem with them babysitting so we can go to karaoke one night but I just feel weird about going out. Not that I dont think they are responsible enough...but I almost feel like a bad parent or something. I was babysitting a baby at 14-15 yo at night for a neighbor so I dont know why I have such a problem with this. Erica goes to sleep around 8-8:30 and karaoke starts around 9:30pm. So she would be sleeping and doesnt wake up at night for the most part. And of course I would have my phone on my belt at all times.

Any thoughts? I havent been out since way before she was born! And she's almost 15 months old.

Pamela

mammag replied: I think it should be fine if you think they are responsible enough. It's hard for anyone else to say without knowing your boys. I watched children from a young age myself but I was more mature than some. I would also judge it on how comfortable your daughter is with them. Will they be able to comfort her if she does wake up while you are gone?

3forme replied: I agree. It depends on how your boys are and only you know that. I was babysitting at this age too. Maybe take a trial run just for dinner, maybe an hour and a half or so. See how comfortable they are with it. And how you feel.

Good luck. My oldest is only 12 and I don't think he is resonsible enough for babysitting. I do let him stay by himself though sometimes just for short periods.

Ahhhh, they grow up too fast!
Julie

ctymom replied: Thanks for the responses My kids are very responsible. I wouldnt even consider this if they werent. Erica LOVES her brothers and they would go to the ends of the earth for her. The only trouble they have are diaper changes. LOL My oldest would change if he had to... but prefers not to. But we would go out while she is sleeping and she rarely wakes up. But if she did.... Erica would be fine with seeing her brothers there. And they would know to just get her a bottle and lay her back down. But the chances of her waking up are small. If she does... it's around 3am and we would be home long before that. More like 1:30.

So I guess I just feel weird doing it. I cant pinpoint why. They have watched her for short times here and there with no problem.

Pamela

Boys r us replied: Wow! I would have NO PROBLEMS with this AT ALL!!!!
None..zip..zilch!

Lucky you!

MomToMany replied: I think it might be adult separation anxiety. I'm sure your daughter would be fine, and your sons sound mature enough to handle babysitting for a few hours so you can have some fun with hubby. My oldest is 11, and he loves watching the younger kids, and they LOVE playing and climbing all over him!

I would take baby steps and do it slowly. Maybe start with an hour away, then 1 1/2, then 2, etc. Teach them all the standard babysitting rules, keep the important phone #'s by the phone, etc. just in case. And be sure to let them know that they can call ANYTIME for ANYTHING.

I hope you can enjoy a night out soon!

ediep replied: I agree with NIchole, I would have no problems with this. My older sis and brother always babysat for me and my younger sis when we were kids.

texasp3 replied: I can relate! I have a closer to 16 than 15 year old son and an 11 month old son. Michael, the older one, is EXTREMELY responsible and positively nuts over his little brother, Gabriel. In fact, he's very good at stepping in and taking over when I'm at my wits end. He has "magic" when it comes to settling his little brother down.

So, am a comfortable having him babysit so I can go out? Nope. I'm making progress... I'll run to the store down the street and right back now and leave Michael at home with Gabriel.

My biggest concern isn't for Gabriel... it's for Michael. I find myself worried about what it would do to him if something did happen to his little brother while he was responsible for him. He's a sweet, sensitive, young man who loves very deeply and no matter how blameless he would be, if Gabriel was hurt or worse... it would just destroy Michael. I know I have a tendency to be overprotective of Michael.. but there you have it... this part is my biggest hang up, I think.

The other problem I have is that when I first told Michael that DH and I were going to have a baby... he was upset. I wasn't surprised at him being upset, but I was surprised at the depth of his response.. he was quite upset. I asked him what was so awful about the idea and he snapped, "babysitting!" I know he has friends whose parents expect them to babysit ALL THE TIME, and they basically have no social life of their own because they're busy freeing up their parents social calendar. I promised him it would not be like that with us. Since then, he has actually volunteered to babysit if I need him to.

I really don't think we should treat him like a third parent, or a handy free babysitter just because I ended up having my two kids 15 years apart. I do expect him to help around the house, both with his brother and with other aspects of being a family.

Anyway... I don't know if you relate to any of that or not... but I certainly understand feeling sort of weird about the situation. I mean, geez, I babysat for pay by the time I was Michael's age! What's my problem??

My2Beauties replied: I think you should be fine! I agree with Nichole, I was babysitting at 13 and 14!

kimberley replied: have a good time! i agree that things should be fine. i know it is hard to pass that parenting torch sometimes, but you raised two very responsible boys who are capable of the job.

iluvmysweetiepies replied: I also think things will be fine. Ashlyn (almost 14) baby-sits her sisters a lot for me. Have fun!!!

loveydad replied: my son henry babysits (or did, when he was living here) all 8 kids at once sometimes. He had no problem, they listen to him, he's great with kids, he wants to be neonatal nurse. He was 12 or so when the twits were born, but I never let him babysit them until they were about 2, and only for a couple hours at a time.

MommyToAshley replied: Since they are responsible, I say go out and have a good time. I was babysitting at the age of 13 for two kids every day after school. Not to mention that I watched my younger siblings.

If it makes you feel any better, they can take a class at the Red Cross and be certified in CPR and instructed on how to handle emergencies. The Red Cross has a specific course for teenagers who will be babysitting.

gr33n3y3z replied: I agree with NIchole
When my kids were younger they would watch the other 2 younger ones

loveydad replied: I just thought of something. There's a woman in town who often left her 20 lb 7 month old with her 9 year old big brother. I have a real issue with that kind of leaving.

I think what your doing is fine. Sounds like the boys know what they're doing!

ctymom replied:
I understand what you're saying. I wouldnt want something to happen b/c her brothers would feel horrible. They've already went through losing a brother and are very sensitive. I wouldnt leave her with them during the day while she's awake for a long period of time b/c I know how full of fire she is. And things happen.

And I never want them to feel like live-in babysitters to. It's not their job but having them watch her from time to time is ok. She loves being with them and gives them play time.

Thanks everyone for the help. It's made me feel better. I think in the back of my mind I picture like in movies where the kids are left home while the mom/dad go off to the bar and get drunk. And the kids end up always watching each other and raising themselves. Of course that's not what this is b/c my DH and I do not drink and we would be off doing karaoke... Once in a blue moon. But it's in the back of my mind.

I always worry about doing the right thing. Noone outside immediate family has EVER babysat my kids. I've always been there. So, when I'm not.. guilt is there. I do ok with making me-time when I can... but going out is different. Hopefully I can shake this feeling.

Pamela

Josie83 replied: If I were you, I'd do it. You know, I think my sister will have only been fifteen when Cassie was born and she babysit for us when Cassie was a baby, in the same circumstances - Cassie would be asleep and rarely woke up. I can't imagine your situation being any different. If I were you, I'd go for it! Just tyr it out, I'm sure nothing would go wrong! let us know how it goes xx