Pacifier - When did you take it away?

Kolesmom wrote: Just curious, about what age did you little one no longer want/need a pacifier? Or when did you just take it away cold turkey? Thanks

Josie83 replied: I think cassie got weaned off hers when she was about two. Se was only having it at night after about eighteen months though. She didn't want to give that dummy in without a fight and had several relapses! It would be terrible if my sister o Jason's brother were babysitting her because if she asked for it they would give her it We still have hers somewhere because Jason won't let me throw them away , and if she comes across one she shoves it in her mouth and does not give it away easily! It is a hard couple of months I'll tell you that, but once its over with its good I think the earlier you can wean kole off it the easier it willbe for you both! Is he very dependent on it? xx

Boys r us replied: My oldest gave his up at 8 months on his own. Which was quite odd, considering he was so attatched to it!

Braedon on the other hand, he loved it, wanted it and no one was going to take it away! I did take it away from him at 12 months. First I took it away during the day but he kept it at nap/night time. Then gradually took it from him then too.

this is only my opinion, but I really do dislike seeing toddlers walking around with them in their mouths. Nothing worse than trying to decipher what a child is trying to say from behind a binky plugged in their mouth. not to mention, once they are really mobile and into stuff, how gross is it to think about all of the germs and so forth that get on those things and then they just pop them in their mouth! Also, my ped. advised to take the bottle and pacifier away by 12 months b/c after 12 months it becomes increasingly harder to detach a child from their security items.
Also, a pacifier's pure purose is to sooth a newborn's need for non-nutritional suckling at 1 yr old..that is non existant.

hayleyzmom replied: I just took my daughters pacifier away LAST NIGHT! She is 22 months old. She usually only needs it when she goes to bed but lately here, she's been especially dependent on it and wanting it all throughout the day. I really don't want her to have it that much. So we decided to just go cold turkey. She cried for about 2 hours till she FINALLY fell asleep, and then she woke up in the middle of the night crying. And then she woke up at 6:30am this morning ready to stay up for the day when normally I can give her the pacie and she goes back to sleep for a little while. So needless to say, I miss the pacifier too! I had my husband take them all out the the garbage last night so I wouldn't be tempted to cave in, as I've done that in past attempts to rid her of the pacifier. I'm hoping we will only have a couple more days tops of this behavior and then she'll just forget all about it. I'm glad we are through day one though.

coasterqueen replied: A few days after Christmas (this past year) we told Kylie that Santa came back and took all the binkies away to give to little babies who needed them more. She did really really well with it and has not had one since. So she was 2 years and almost 4 months old at the time. I wouldn't have taken it away if she was not ready but she clearly was because she didn't give a fuss when we did take it away.

atlantamomof2 replied: Maggie was only using her's at nap and bedtime after about 12 months but kept it until she was 34 months! At that point we only had 1 and one night before putting her to bed I picked it up and it smelled MOLDY! I threw it away promptly!

She went to bed fine that night as well as the next day for her nap but she wanted to buy another one. I kept putting her off saying we'll see about buying one later. That's all it took. After about 5-6 days she wasn't even asking anymore.

I wish I could have weaned her from it earlier but my DH did not want to force her. And she was not one of those kids that would walk around with it their mouth all the time so it didn't really bother me that she wanted it as her sleeping companion.

Joshua (13 months) never took one and I'm glad now because I don't have to ever wean him from one, but...he still wakes up to nurse at night (which Maggie stopped doing after about 6 months)

So, I guess it's a toss-up which is better!

texasp3 replied: Well, let's see... with Michael he was old enough to run back into the apartment, grab his binky and stick it in his pocket in case he needed it. I can't remember the exact age... two, I'm sure. Anyway, I didn't know HOW I was every going to get that away from him. Then nature intervened and, unfortunately, gave him the MOST HIDEOUS case of cold sores you have EVER seen. They completely covered the inside of his mouth!! Even the pediatrician shuddered. Anyway - it hurt to put ANYTHING in his mouth. By the time he healed, the binkies were a distant memory. I had, of course, thrown them all out while he was ill. Even if I weren't keen on being done with them, I would have just to make sure he didn't catch the same thing again.

Gabriel LIVED with his binky in his mouth for three months, then spat it out and has never wanted the darn thing again.

ediep replied: Jason only took one when he was really little, maybe by 6 months he stopped wanting it. I was really careful and only used it as a last resort when he could be soothed.

Abbie replied: MY CHILD NEVER HAD A PACIFIER, I DON'T AGREE WITH THEM. I THINK IT IS A SUBSTITUTE FOR SOMETHING AND WOULD HAVE THOUGHT MYSELF A BAD PARENT IF I HAD GIVEN HER ONE.

Kolesmom replied: Thanks to all who replied. I see there is a wide age span. Kole is 21 months really only needs it at nigh/nap time, and sometimes really not even then. We will keep trying until it is gone completely. Thanks.

mommy2owen replied: alyssa gave her's up by herself at the age of 2. she decided she wanted to give them to the fishies in the ocean, while on vacation.

MommyXsTwo replied: I never had to deal with that. My kids only took one for a couple of months after they were born and never seemed to have an interest in them afterward. Good luck to you, though!:)

coasterqueen replied:
Hi Abbie, I don't think I intro'ed myself in your other post. Have been extremely busy at work here today. I'm Karen (30), WOHM to Kylie Elizabeth and loving wife to Ryan (30). We are expecting our second baby girl in April. We live in Illinois.

Do you mind me asking Abbie, are you an "attachment parent" or do you practice attachment parenting? I'm just curious.

I agree that pacifiers ARE a substitute for something else, for a mother most often. I had to introduce a pacifier to my DD because unfortunately I WOH. I breastfed her and since I had to work during the day I sent expressed breastmilk in bottles for her but there were times that obviously I could not be there for her to "pacify" her with the breast so I had the sitter give her a pacifier. When she was with me she nursed every 1.5 to 2 hours non-stop day/night but at times she still wanted the pacifier and so I gave it to her. But she never missed out on momma when she needed/wanted it. Believe me, lol. She weaned during this pg at 2 years old and I worked/pumped for her for 19 months (til she was 21 months old). Edit: My DD was/still is one of those children who has the strong "need" to suck so the pacy helped that out. She still does have the need by the way she sucks on her sippy cup.

Your post originally caught me off guard and struck a spark with me but then I realized that pacifiers are a substitute, but unfortunately not all of us are lucky to be able to be a SAHM as to be able to "pacify" our children. I'm not sure if you are a SAHM but I'm assuming yes? That's great if you are and that you could be the one to pacify your child. How long did you BF your children?

Kirstenmumof3 replied: All 3 of my children had a pacifier and with the exception of Claudia they all weaned off of it by there 2nd birthday. We are only giving it to her at night, it's a comfort thing for her.

Alice replied: Both my girls gave them up voluntarily by the age of 4 months.

And, for the record, I don't consider myself a bad parent.

loveydad replied: okay yeah that's really really rude! I do not consider myself a bad parent yet I let my daughter have a pacifier for the first year but she never wanted it. I would have LOVED To be able to pacify her at times! Becuase isn't that what we do with our kids? We hug them to pacifiy them. We kiss them to pacify them. We talk to them to pacifiy them..

To tell the truth I never used the dummy instead of comforting any my kids. My son is 18 months and still uses his at nighttime but usually spits out out. I never give it to him just because he's fussy I first find out the problem.

Carter and Clara still take pacifiers during the day, in fact I'm such a "horrible parent" that I let them spit em out of the floor and then crawl after them. I even let them SHARE their pacifiers because what am I going to do about it?

V and K never took em, Peter takes them but that's Hen's problem, I know Andriana didn't, and we'll certainly offer one to Brooklyn.

on the other hand I just read something that says it's best to pull the plug at 6 months because that's when they no longer need something to suck for comfort.

coasterqueen replied:
Vig,

Don't know where you read that awful advice but get it out of your head NOW mister! It's entirely not true and I won't let you think it. Babies so do need to be pacified past the age of 6 months. Some children have a higher sucking need and it goes on into their toddler years. While my DD is not on a pacifier anymore...if I could just show you how she sucks for dear life on her sippy cup at bedtime. It's just an instinct they have and some just need that comfort more than others. But all babies need that comfort at some point, just some not as long as others.

Now I want to hear you say you tossed that info from your brain!

jem0622 replied: Welp...I guess I am a bad parent cuz Gabe still has his for nap and nighttime. I figure that he won't go to kindergarten with it in his mouth. Every child is different.

Alice replied:
... certainly not college!!!

That's pretty my approach to parenting, from toilet training to having a blankie. Each child is different, and will hit the appropriate milestones when they're ready.
(I'm not talking bad behavior here, or rudeness, just the growth milestones)

For every one of those norms we read, there's a huge percentage of the population on either side of it. So, unless my pediatrician (whom I adore!!) has a problem with it, I refuse to worry. Life, and especially the childhood of each of my kids, is just too short to nag them about something they'll eventually outgrow.

OK, so do I win the bad mommie award or what???

coasterqueen replied: LOL Alice. Yes, you are a bad mommy, you win the award! Just kidding.

The only time I think a mother is being a bit on the "bad" side is when she gives her baby a pacifier so she doesn't have to nurse her baby. Some women tend to think that they are "human pacifier" and they don't want to comfort their child in that way so they give them a real pacifier. Others who try to "stretch" time between feedings give a pacifier. These are the times that I think it's bad parenting IMO. Like my boss' wife who just didn't feel like BF her DD so she plugged her up so she would shut up....that I hate.

You are NOT a bad mommy!

Jamison'smama replied: yep, I'm a bad mom too--Jamison still uses it occasionally to help her sleep--she actually wants to hold one more than suck one at times. I do practice attachment parenting ((well, the main concepts) but unless I wanted to sit ALL DAY on the couch with Jamison attached--(she had a very high sucking need)-- I had no choice--my doctor AND my lactation consultant recommended it for my sanity. So, I join the "bad parent club" I offered one to my son as well (I know, again, bad parent ) but so far he wants nothing to do with it.

Karen, you responded to that post better than I could have.

Alice replied: Sorry-- I just realized my "bad mommy" crack was in the same thread as Abbie's remark. It wasn't a comment on her remark; I'm constantly calling myself a bad mommy- tongue in cheek- everytime I break one of the rules in the mommy books... which turns out to be quite often.

Anyway, I wasn't trying to make fun of anyone but myself.

coasterqueen replied:
Oh no offense taken here. You know what....there isn't one of us that isn't a "bad" mommy at one point or another. And I don't mean "bad" as some might think. I mean, come on....we are only human, designed to be flawed and NO ONE is perfect.

So we are all members of that "club" at one point or another, lol.

loveydad replied:
UGH i just Freaking typed this message

I was being sarcastic. I don't bellieve that either. Parenting mag is really full of cat crap- I buy it fo ra quarter at the thrift store and my kids tear pages out. Some things in it are okay.

Tracy still wants a pacifier at 31 months. So don't be so defensive! LOL .