Pacifiers!!! - How old is too old?

na81 wrote: My dd has taken a pacifier since she was like a month old. We started "weening" her from it when she was 10 months, but she still takes it to go to sleep. I am starting to worry that she is getting too old for one, but we have tried to put her to bed without it and she screams bloody murder until she gets it!!! I don't know what to do. I see kids in the stores that are like 3 with a paci in their mouths and I don't like that (don't want to offend anyone , but it does), thank goodness my dd isn't that bad with it. I am hoping that she will give up her pacifier soon!!! How old is too old?

MamaJAM replied: DD#1 was a pacifier junkie. At about 18 months we started weaning her off of it...first - she was only allowed one at home....then only in her bedroom...then only while sleeping/in her bed. Sleeping without one took the longest and she just needed the comfort for a while. She was nearly 2.5 when she gave them up completely....but it had been well over a year since anyone but DH and I saw her with one.

Honestly - if a child needs the comfort of a pacifier to sleep - I'd rather allow them to take their time giving it up then take it away too soon and have them start sucking a thumb for comfort. DD#3 has been a thum-sucker since birth (we desperately tried to get her to take a pacifier but she never wanted one). She's over 7 years old now and STILL sucks her thumb sometimes.

DVFlyer replied: I'm not sure there is a "right" age to take it away, but, as you experienced, it will be a hard night.... or 3. If you are going to take it away, you can start slow (only at night etc), but when you've decided it's time for it to go, stick to your guns. They will be fine.... upset, but fine.

AlexsPajamaMama replied: When Alex was 13 monthes old we just put him to bed one night with out it and he did cry but if you just dont give in (as hard as that is!) she will be alright. The first few times she goes to bed without it will be hard, but then one night she will just fall right to sleep and not even ask/cry for it.
Thats how it was for us anyway

Good Luck!!

KingMom replied: Colin is 18 months and for about 4-5 months we've been weaning him off the pacifier. I keep one in the diaper bag for outings, but we haven't used it since I can remember.

He only gets them in the bed at night, he is not allowed to even take them out his bedroom. When I get him up in the morning or from naps I tell him to drop it in the bed and he does.

I see no problems with them using it at bedtime, sleep is very important for them. I hope to try and take it away at bedtime in the next couple of months, when we transition him to a big boy bed.

I also agree, I hate seeing 3 or 4 year olds in the grocery cart, sucking on a pacifier!

My2Beauties replied: I took it away from Hanna at 10 months. It took on enight and that was it, the longer you wait the harder it is hon, that is all I have to say! She never sucked her thumb or anything. It was smooth sailing after that one night.

moped replied: I am not sure really, Jack threw his out at about 6 months and that was it, but my nephew is 2.5 and still has his at bedtime - if you do take it away just be firm and in about 3 days they will forget they even had one

Shaykinmom replied: About a month ago I took it away from my 2 1/2 year old. He loved his binkie he had it all the time and there were time we spent 15-20 mintues looking for it (which was a pain). One night he went to sleep without it and said that it I'm not going to give it to him anymore. He still asks for it at times usually when he doesn't get his way and it doesn't bother him to see his little brother with his. But its nice not to have to have to go back home because we forgot it.

C&K*s Mommie replied: We slowly began to use it for naps/bedtime only around 23mos. I had her off it totally around 17/18mos for a day or two, but I gave in shortly thereafter. But around 23mos and some weeks, it was to be put up when she woke up. Just shy of her 2yr birthday- I told her one day that we are going to give it to other little boys & girls, and she agreed! I was cleaning their drawers today, and ran across 4 or 5 and showed those to her and told her again we are going to give them to other little boys and girls (not really they went in a grocery bag for the trash), and she was cool with it.

ETA: As long as you are comfortable with your child still having one, do it. But if you feel it is time or getting close to that time to give it up, go for it. The child will not be permanently traumatized because of it.

MyLuvBugs replied: Ok. In the airport this last week Dh and I saw a 3 year old with a pacifier!! Too me....that is WAY too old. I personally feel that 18 months is the max for a pacifier, but that's just me. We were lucky, and Lorelei never liked pacifiers. Hopefully all our kids will be like that.

b&bsmom replied:
ITA if she is only using it at night it isn't a problem. With mine I limited it to the car and sleeping then just when they were in bed and then with dd I would have her go 5 min without when we put her to bed and then if she was awake I would give it to her and then the next night would be longer and longer until she would fall asleep without it. I celebrated that morning with her and then she didn't take it again. With ds we were starting to wean him and he was acting up one night and I told him if he didn;t stop no paci he didn;t stop I didn't give it to him and he hasn't had it since. Hope that helps.

~~*Missi*~~ replied: Sabrina I started weaning to ONLY nap and bed no where else, not the car not the park not playing etc..... at 12months. Now at 18months I am starting to wean her at night. Which is a bigger problem since she hides them lol. I wake her up every morning and she has a new one from god knows where.

By two she will no longer have one at all.... IMHO that is to old but that is my goal.... I wish I would have just cut them out when she was 12months all together but i didn't...

A friend of mine how she broke her kids is she gave them the pacifier and each week she took scissors and cut a piece of the plastic end off til they didn't use it anymore cause it was defective. That is what we are thinking about doing now.... since I can't figure out any other way then dramatizing Sabrina and snatching them all away at once.

HTH

~~*Missi*~~ replied:
so agree IMO i don't want to offend anyone but I hate seeing kids that age cause i wonder if its for them or the parents to keep them quite at that age!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Wil only uses one for naps and bedtime, but it used to be almost all day. He sorta just stopped on his own...never asks for them during the day. I'm hoping the same will happen at night, but I'm going to let him get to that point on his own. I'm still okay with him having it at 20 months is what I'm saying.

Jamison'smama replied: IMHO, I think that whatever age they no longer need the pacifier for soothing is the right age. My daugher is 3 1/2--she LOVES pacifiers. I don't let her have one in public or even to sleep but if she finds one of Jacks and wants to spend a few minutes with it alone, then so be it. I never think when I see a child that it is to keep them quite, some kids just CRAVE pacifiers. I have talked extensively with a parenting expert (one that has been quoted in Parenting Magazine) about this ---she assures me that some children are just oral soothers. Some kids are not and can give up the pacifiers fairly easily--my daughter craves them and would give up almost anything to use one. Like I said, she is extremely limited only due to the dental issues and has none of her own--she can very occasionally use one of Jacks--that usually happens at times of stress or illness.

Every child is different and it is important to remember that there is no standard for anything of this sort.

My3LilMonkeys replied: I think that whatever age works for you and your child is the right age. Brooke gave hers up voluntarily around 10 months (I think? I have trouble remembering exactly) and Madison gave hers up around 3 days old when she was able to find her thumb.

Personally I am not bothered by seeing other people's children with them at age 3 - when the child is 5 or 6 I think that is excessive, but I try not to judge because that is what works for their family.

ilovemybaby replied: IMO they shouldn't be using them at age 2 and especially at age 3. But I know how hard it is to wean them off the pacifier. Fortunately for me Abby doesn't want hers anymore (she gave them up at 10 months). Very rarely she has taken one to bed but it's always on the floor in the morning LOL
I think IMO for speech development reasons they really shouldn't be walking around with one in their mouth all day. Pauls best friends youngest was 2 1/2 or 3 before she was weaned off her pacifier and didn't really have a vocabulary until she stopped using the paci. All I used to hear from her was "up!" and that was it.
I think for overnight only up until 3 is fine.

holley79 replied: My friend's boss on the second birthday of each of his kids (5) would gather up all the pacis in the house. They would ride out to the pier at the beach and "give them to the baby fishes". (How economically correct this is I'm not sure, I mean I don't really recommend it. ) Seems to work for them though. I have been lucky with Annika. She only takes one when she needs that little extra comfort.

luvbug00 replied: Mya had hers until she was 2.

na81 replied: Thank you all for the help/advice. I guess I will try to let her give it up on her own, but if she doesn't do it by like 2 I will try to take it away!! I just feel like 2 is the limit-JMO! Thanks again!!
Nicole

Cece00 replied: I think 2 is the absolute cutoff. I'd never allow one of my kids to have one @ that age @ all, and not except @ night once they hit about 1-1.5.

I saw a FOUR year old the other day with one in her mouth. She was like talking with it in her mouth. Hm

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I got lucky. Logan will occasionally pick one up now and chew on it, but he hasn't used one to suck on for over a year. He really quit when he was about 5 or 6 months.

Bee_Kay replied: Tyler has a friend that he spends alot of time with.... well, this boys' little brother is 7 years old and STILL has his pacifier

JP&KJMOM replied: JP was about 2.5 when DH picked him up from daycare one day and they were on their way home and DH asked JP a question and could not understand the answer cause of the pacifier. So he rolled down the window and told him that he threw it out the window. JP never asked for it again after that. I think alot of his was out of sight out of mind. I was scrambling to get them all put away before he got home though. I am not sure that their is a perfect age but depends on the child.

coasterqueen replied: I will have to TOTALLY agree with Brenda on this one. There is no set standard/age for when a child should not have a pacifier IMO and it's sad that we think that way. It is very true that some are just oral soothers. In reality we all are in some form or fashion. Is anyone here guilty of eating when they are depressed or bored or smoking a cigarette, chewing on their pens or fingers, biting their fingernails? Oh I could go on and on. The majority of the population is an 'oral soother' in some form or fashion, plain and simple. So what makes a child who needs a pacifier bad? What makes the parent bad for giving them one? Maybe the next time I see someone munching down a bag of doritos because they are bored or depressed or I see someone chain smoking because they are stressed - maybe I should explain to them how horrible they are - that they are TOO OLD for oral soothing. Should I?

I think instead of judging a child or parent on when the right age for something is we should look at the root of WHY they NEED that particular thing. Are they self soothing just because? Are they attached to that pacifier because it makes them feel safe and they aren't getting that security somewhere else where they should be, what? We all self sooth for many reasons. So what makes a child any different? IMO I can see why a child self soothes a heck of a lot more than I see an adult doing it for their various reasons. For gosh sakes a child is thrown into this world, scared, unknowledgeable of the world and relies soley on their parents. I'd be scared too and would do anything in the world to feel that sense of security at all times. I look at my girls and see why they do some of the things they do for security and I understand. Yes, they might frustrate me at times, but I clearly understand.

Kylie gave up her binkies with slight encouragement from us at the age of 2 years and 3 months. Santa and Rudolph came a week after Christmas that year to take Kylie's binkies and give them to all the children in the world who couldn't afford one. She was very fine with this. If she wasn't I would have let her have it longer. Plain and simple. Kylie is still an oral soother. She just does it with sippys/cups.

Sorry to get off on a rampage, but I think we sometimes ask way too much out of our children and don't even see that some of the things they do that we feel they shouldn't.....we do as well, just in other ways So remember that the next time you smoke a cigarette because you are stressed or to make you feel more calm; go on a feeding binge because you are depressed; chew on your nails, fingers or pens because it's just become a habit now......then understand that children just need that oral fixation just like the rest of us, they just only know how to do it with the means we have given them .