Please tell me this is normal

Danalana wrote: All I seem to be able to do is cry
I'm an emotional wreck! I cried before we left the hospital because I didn't want to bring him home...I told Richard Kade would be in kindergarten by the time we got him home. Just his trusting little eyes looking at me sends me into episodes of bawling. I worry that I can't possibly be the mother he deserves--he's just wonderful! And how's this for nuts? I feel jealous when DH holds him sometimes because I'm afraid he'll bond with him more And then I think it's not fair...I carried him and labored to get him here. I stay up most of the night taking care of him. Richard waltzes in after work and gets to have him for happy time. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being up with him...I love that sweet little look he gets when I take care of whatever the problem was. But I think I've had about 6 hours of sleep since Sunday night. I know I wouldn't be able to sleep if I left Richard I here to take care of him. I've already learned special things about Kade and ways things need to be done, so I would worry the whole time I was trying to sleep. I'm hoping we will get into a routine soon.
Anyway, is it normal to have all these feelings? And to cry all the time?

CantWait replied: Perfectly normal Dana. If it persists more then a couple months though, make sure you see your doctor.

mckayleesmom replied: I think some of it is normal......but I would discuss with your doctor the possibility of you haveing a touch of baby blues.

sparkys2boys replied: Awww hun of course it is.. you just had a baby girl It will pass but PLEASE don't try and be wonder mom right now. You need to rest and trust me it will catch up with you if you don't. Let Richard take over for you and go to bed, don't worry over them bonding more hun, it won't happen. It's an emontional time right now and it should pass in a week or so, if it gets worse then talk to your doctor because it is possible to have PPD(post partum depression) try and relax and rest and it should be ok

skinkybaby replied:
I agree. They're such amazing little things it's so hard not to just want to sit there and stare them all the time, but it is very important for you to get some sleep too!

Calimama replied: It's normal for awhile. Like said, if it keeps up I'd bring it up at your 6 week PP check up.

grandma replied: Dana, I'm not here for advice on this one, I'll leave it up to the more recent mommies. I just wanted to give you a

Bamamom replied: Girl I remember what you are going through. When I was still in the hospital with Tripp I cried when Gary took a shower - because he'd left his socks on the end of my bed and one day Tripp would have "big boy socks." It's totally normal for weird little stuff to send you into crying fits.

I also remember what it was like to not want to leave him to sleep - I was scared that Gary would fall asleep holding him and drop him. But you do need to try to get a nap if you can - it really does help. As does getting out of the house. Leave Kade with Richard and go buy him a cute outfit or just go through the drive thru to pick up supper. Remembering how to be alone is important - even though right now it feels like you and Kade are one person.

And don't expect these feeling to vanish overnight. It took about 6 weeks for me to get to feeling like me again. Remember to take time to care for yourself - take care of your episiotomy, wash your hair, shave . It'll help make you feel human again.

This too shall pass. Just take it one day at the time and when you feel overwhelmed accept help. We're always here for you!!!

Our Lil' Family replied: Is it ever normal! Your hormones are CRAZY WACKY right now! And being sleep deprived doesn't help one bit. You need to sleep when he sleeps right now, and just worry about him. Everything else can wait!

amynicole21 replied: Oh man, I cried at the drop of a hat the first few weeks after delivering. Totally normal. If it keeps up for more than a week or two though, I would talk to your doc.

PLEASE, if you hear nothing else anyone says, trust me on this. LET RICHARD HELP! You are only going to end up resenting him in 6 months when he doesn't know what to do and Kade relies COMPLETELY on you. Trust me. You need to let him take care of some things.

lovemy2 replied: I agree - some of it is very overwhelming and you worry about everything but at some point you are going to WANT Kade to bond with Richard too - he is the Daddy You have to give some of it up to take care of yourself - even if you just doze on the couch if you are more comfortable get some rest because like others said - it will catch up and then it is very hard to go back - hang in there kiddo - you are doing great - remember you are human -

CantWait replied:
Sherri, she had a BOY, not a girl!!

holley79 replied: Girl it is perfectly normal. I did it for about a month after bring Annika home. Wait till the Hallmark commercials set off the water works.

lisar replied: Perfectly normal girl. I did it.

sparkys2boys replied:
Umm I know?? I said girl as in Dana u just had a baby??

PrairieMom replied: and... so it begins. NORMAL. I remember my arms would just ache for Ben when I wasn't holding him. Normal normal normal. Believe me, it will pass.

Boys r us replied: Dana, it's as normal as everything else surrounding post-partum is. Listen to what Amy Nicole said though about letting Richard help..if he doesn't learn now, it's likely he won't. right now he's new and fresh and everybody wants him..but in a fe months, the cuteness of staring at his little face at 2am won't be so cute anymore..ya know..you'll be ready to cuss Richard for not helping..lol..PROMISE!
but the way he'll see it is, well..she never wanted me to change diapers or get up before so he won't even think you're needing his help and he'll assume you want to have 100% of the responsibility! which actually could cause you BOTH to have resentment towards one another. Men often feel left out of the whole newborn process..they feel as though we think they aren't capable of doing it and he may resent you for being closer with the baby and you'll end up resenting him for not knowing how to help!

My2Beauties replied: I think with your first it's probably normal but guys...I must be backwards because I begged people to take my kid from me for a little bit so I could sleep ...... I'm backwards though, I would love when DH would take Hanna or Aubrey...I'd take FULL advantage.

Dana I agree with what everyone is saying about letting Richard help, they are very right!

3xsthefun replied: Yes, it is totally normal.

You really should try get a nap while he is sleeping and get Richard to help you out with him.

Jackie012007 replied: like everyone else said - SO normal. I was a wreck in the hospital and after - your hormones are ging crazy! But yes, if it persists, see a doctor asap.

amynicole21 replied:
LOL! THis is a good example of the importance of commas.

Mommy2Isabella replied: Very Normal. With Bella I was just like you, with Isaia it has been a little diff. because of our start but ... I cried a lot with Bella and with Isaia ...... whole other story ... lol

Let Richard help out. You will start to resenet him trust me!!

moped replied: I think it is very normal - I sort of remember that with Jack. YOu have been through alot in the last few days and 9 months. You are adjusting to a new life and a new responsibility. I would be surprised if you did'nt feel like that at first.......

I bet you are truly glowing - I know how hard you tried and prayed.

A&A'smommy replied: COMPLETELY normal!!!!! I agree with what everyone else has already said!!! It gets better sweetie!!!

DillsMommy replied: Like it's already been said a dozen times-- it's very normal. When I got home from the hospital after having Peyton, I cried for 3 days straight. I freaked Tom out a little bit. He'd ask why I was crying and all i could say was-- I don't know. I think it's a combination of homones out of wack, having a ton of different emotions all at once and lack of sleep. It'll get better and a routine will help out tons. hang in there girly, your doing great.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Totally normal. I was jealous too when my DH would come home and the boys would totally oooh and ahhh over him...Where I was dealing with the wails, poopy diaper, baby spit up ALLLLLLLL day. It's hard, but it's not forever. Get as much help from friends and family as you can and REST. The emotional rollercoaster will go away soon.

CantWait replied:
I'm SO just teasing.

jem0622 replied: Your hormones are all over the place, honey. And you are feeling so many emotions too. All of it is normal.

HUGS and Congrats!

stella6979 replied: It's absolutely normal Dana so don't you worry. I had the baby blues for about 2 weeks and would cry over anything and everything. I definitely think having kids just makes you more emotional as I still get teary eyed when I look at my almost 2 year old. So you just cry your little heart out Dana and know that he senses all of those wonderful emotions you're going through.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: Oh my gosh, totally normal!! I was super emotional too those first few days... and weeks. You're hormones are changing again after giving birth, you're running on practically no sleep, and you're whole world has just been turned upside down. in a good way, but it's still an adjustment! Plus how can you not get emotional when you look at your new baby's precious little face?

~Roo'sMama~ replied:
I just wanted to add, I felt the same way when my babies were newborn, and I really wish I'd just let Dh do stuff. I knew all the little tricks and how to do everything just right, and I was always afraid that if I just let Dh do it on his own he would do it differently and make the baby upset, and then he wouldn't want to take care of them anymore. It took me a while to figure out that Scott just needed to be able to figure that stuff out on his own without me trying to "help" by telling him every detail of how I did everything. I really think I made him feel unqualified when I did that. Once I realized what I was doing and made myself just step back and let him take over, it was a LOT easier for both of us.

:.Mrs_Mommy.: replied: It has been said over and over, Totally Normal. I cried at EVERYTHING with all 3 of the kids. If it lasts for more than 4-6 wks than I would talk to the doc but I'm sure it will pass. Remember to sleep, even if dozing on the couch makes you more comfortable, anywhere and anytime you can get a little bit of sleep...do it. It really makes all the difference in the world.



It's hard but you can do it!

MoonMama replied: Like the others have said very, very normal hun. I agree with what the others have said....and try to let Richard help. Hang in there.

sparkys2boys replied:

bawoodsmall replied:
I agree one thousand percent with letting him help even if it is just so you can get some rest. He needs to bond with Kade also otherwise then when you want him to help he wont know his little ways he likes things. Hang in there it gets better.

jcc64 replied: Dana, honey, this is completely normal, as others have said. You have just undegone a radical life transformation, and your hormones are wacked out. Don't expect to feel "normal" or rational for the next few weeks. It's a HUGE life adjustment, huge, and I don't know many people who weather it gracefully. Like others have said, if in a month or two you don't feel yourself settling down a bit, then speak with your dr, otherwise, try to accept it as a transitional phase.
The thing about your dh- babies get different things from different parents. Your dh, no matter how wonderful he may be with your baby, can never replace you. He smells different, he feels different, he doesn't have boobies, and on and on. It's not more or less important, just different. I would, as Amy said, accept all the help he's willing to give- you are gonna burn out. I would guess you're still running on adreneline right now, but that's gonna give out at some point, and you're gonna be one tired mommy if you try to do it all single-handedly.
Many blessings- I can tell you're gonna be a great mommy!

Danalana replied: Thanks everybody...I'm so glad I can come here and get advice/opinions.
Still crying a lot, but I think it's only been 3 or 4 times today We went to church yesterday, and I cried at every single song we sang. I'm VERY popular with the ladies at church now...I wonder if it has anything to do with Kade...
He slept 3 hours straight last night. I woke up and realized I hadn't been woken up in all that time, and I panicked. I just knew something horrible had happened. I looked at him and couldn't tell whether ot not he was breathing cause I had him swaddled. I touched his face and was afraid it was going to be cold He was totally fine, though. I guess he just got good and full at his last feeding
I took him back to the doctor today...his bilirubin level was 14 on Thursday but was only 6.3 today He looks great and is back to his birth weight.
Anyway, thanks again.

Jackie012007 replied:
Boy do I remember those days!!! I'll never forget the day that Carly slept through the night when she was a few weeks old. Carl and I both woke up, looked at each other, and BOLTED to the crib. She was fine!!

Carly was jaundiced at birth too - I dreaded the taking of the blood from her heel for the tests!! Glad to hear he is doing better!!

Hang in there - its a terrifying and an emotional time but things WILL get better!