Poor baby boy

MyBrownEyedBoy wrote: My little buggaboo got bit by a little girl at day care today. She grabbed his arm and bit him twice while his caretaker was breaking up a fight. Little brat. She waited until the opportunity arose and then took advantage. And since she isn't mine, I can't really do anything except make Logan feel better. Tylenol and ice. Am I wrong to feel mad? It just really makes me feel bad that my little guy got chomped for no reason. He was just contentedly playing. And he can't push her away like the bigger kids.

NummyMommy replied: OMG poor guy that just isn't right....Can't you talk with the caregiver (if you didnt already) about keeping them separate? I hope she didn't break the skin as human bites are supposed to be prone to infection.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: The caregiver has already assured me that from now on, when all the children are together, she will either be in a high chair or a playpen. It didn't break the skin, but COME ON. This isn't the first time this little girl has bitten a child. I am going to ask tomorrow if the center has a 3 strikes you're out policy. My child now has 2 perfect sets of teeth marks in the center of his forearm. This isn't right.

NummyMommy replied: I totally agree when I worked in child care that sort of thing was NOT tolerated (mainly because of lawsuits but still!). I think if they don't have the people to keep an extra set of eyes on this lil' vamp they should evict her pronto! Not just for the other kids sake but for hers too....I know from personal experience (in classroom situations) that the only way to rehabilitate a biter is by preventing the bites in the first place. If they just let it go it'll mean she isnt learning appropriate behavior.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Thanks. They called her alternative contact to come pick her up. It was her grandma. They showed her Logan's arm and she freaked. She picked up this little girl, showed her the bite marks, told her that Hurts, and bit her.
My mom tells me that I went through a biting phase, but she bit me and I never did it again. But if this happens again, I am moving my child to another center if they won't remove this kid. We pay on time every month, take very good care of our son and are good clients. I shouldn't have to deal with a biter.

NummyMommy replied: The Grandma bit the little girl? Thats a big "No No" where I worked...I'm glad it worked for you but it doesnt usually work with habitual biters. The trick is to catch them before they decide to bite...then take them out of the situation(time out). I know it sounds bad to punish them before they do it but it always worked for the kids we looked after. Of course I'm looking at it from the POV of a daycare that has rules to follow (read that as Government run) and legally can't use physical punishment. Plus some kids are harder to break then others. At least the workers seemed to take it all seriously....thats a happy sign

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Logan will be there tomorrow, but then I start my 7 off. So he won't be back until next week. Hopefully, the parents and the daycare will have worked out something to break this little land shark. And yes, Grandma bit the little girl. I sure hope Logan doesn't turn out to be one of these kids. I'll never live it down after this post.

boobies4virtue replied: Next time she runs past you, trip her! oops!

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I like your style boobies4virtue. Not that I'd ever do it for real. Just nice to think about.

NummyMommy replied:
Gosh please don't feel this way A lot of kids go through this phase...I didn't mean to imply any kid who bites is a bad kid....it just sounded like they weren't taking the necessary measures to protect the other kids (namely your son ) or to teach lil Jaws to handle her aggression in a healthier way. I have seen a lot of DC situations where its survival of the fittest and that really gets my goat!

MyBrownEyedBoy replied:
It was meant as a joke, but I agree. DH and I have decided that if Logan gets bit again, we are telling the center that it is her or Logan. I won't wait and let it happen again and again until she breaks skin.

NummyMommy replied: Good for you!

Boys r us replied: Sorry that your child got bit! My son has gotten bit a couple of times in daycare, it definitely didn't make me happy, but I DO understand that it could just as easily have been my child biting someone else..it is a normal thing in toddlers.
I certainly hope that your child doesn't turn out to be a biter either, b/c you would probably feel really badly about it and feel even worse if that child's parent were to call him a brat.

luvbug00 replied: They should have a policy on that. really . & gee where could she have learned to bite?? Grandma Maybe?? I hope your sweetpea feels better and they find an approprite action to use and not just a high chair that doesn't solve anything. she can bite from up high too.

msoulz replied: OMG, I am more shocked at the grandmother than the child! But maybe it is the generation. I recall my mother telling me to pull my son's hair in response to him pulling mine. So it's OK for me to do it to you, but not for you to do it to me? I get that they are trying to teach empathy, but a toddler is a long way off from understanding that concept.

My husband was beaten as a child for many things, but what he remembers most is his dad pounding on him, all the while telling him not to hit his sister. What that taught him is that if you are bigger, older and/or stronger it is OK, not that this is how it feels when someone bigger hits you. It just seems ironic to us. My husband was a very aggressive teenager who harbored very bad feelings for his father and finally saw the error of his ways when he grew up. Now he is teaching our son very differently from what his dad taught him! And his dad now is the kindest, most gentle grandfather ever. I find it hard to believe a lot of the stories I hear from my husband and his siblings!

MyBrownEyedBoy replied:
Too true. I probably shouldn't have called her a brat. I'll stick with Land Shark from now on. And I know that her home environment isn't the best. Her mom told the center to slap her face when she bites, that is what they do at hom. Bad parenting. I do feel kind of bad for her, but my priority is, of course, my own son. Her mom says, "She's teething." But my son isn't a teething ring. And making excuses isn't going to fix it. I would feel bad if Logan becomes a biter, and especially if someone calls him a brat, unless I think he is being one. This is just super frustrating. It isn't the first time she bit him. She did it last Thursday too. Just not as hard, no marks. I hate to see him upset like I did yesterday, it happened only half an hour before I picked him up, KWIM? So, poor choice of wording.

Jaime replied: Aww poor little man! I know that if that was my child i would be just as mad, some kids have to be taught.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Yuk. Biting sucks. My kids have been bitten before.... it`s a toddler thing.

I remember this once - we went to the mall, where they have this big open area for kdis to play in - there is ONE caregiver to watch the kids... it`s not a daycare or anything - and the parents sign a waiver that the place isn`t going to be held responsible if anything bad happens yadda yadda....I`ve never left my kids there, I`m always there seated at the tables for parents, at the very least.

I always watch my kids when we`re there - as in, if they`re doing something that could be hurtful to another child, I go and get them - I`m close enough to prevent something as opposed to yelling at them from the other side of the room. As if YELLING is going to block a kick, you know?

And when other people`s kids are the ones attacking MY kids - I don`t say anything - at FIRST - I wait a reasonable amount of time (30 seconds) to see if the parents will say anything to the vandal - and if the parent says or does nothing, I usually say, loud enough for the parent to hear:

***Oh MY. Didn`t your mommy/daddy teach you that hitting/biting/kicking/taking a toy away/scratching isn`t very nice? Don`t do it to Zach please.***

Usually, after I say someting like that, the parents gets all huffy and comes to check what happened. Some woman told me once that I had no right to discipline her child - I told her that no, I had no right, but I do have the right to protect mine from her undisciplined monster. She didn`t look too happy. Of course, when the child is 2, they don`t necessarily know any better, so it`s up to the parent to catch the child doing it and correcting the behaviour. kwim?

Slapping the girl in the face when she bites is juts mean. When Emilie had biting issues, I bit her back once - not hard - just to show that it does hurt - she never bit me again. But then again, I`ve trained a few dogs... and that`s what we`d do. Bite their ears when they were misbehaving. Wierd, huh? (and in no way am I comparing my child to a dog... lol I was just so frustrated, nothing else had worked!!! )

Consistency is the key - behavoiur that needs to be corrected has to be CONSISTENTLY punished or whatever. It`s not ok to bite, ever, period. If the teeth hurt, that's what a teething toy is there for. If it`s aggression, beating a pillow (not a plyamate) is ideal.



I could go on and on.... but I`ll stop hoggin your post.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Nope, I fully agree. That is what teething toys are for. Biting anyone isn't acceptable. I hope that they can find a solution. I really don't want to have to find another day care center.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Talked to the caregiver. She said that absolutely, if it happens again, despite the precautions, the little girl will have to go.

boobies4virtue replied:
Doesn't it just give you a happy giggly feeling to think about it?
lol, I know we can't do that, but my god does it sound nice...

boobies4virtue replied:
I had a lady that I baby sat for who's DS was biting the other kids. I did times outs, etc, and nothing was working. I asked hew what she wanted done and I did suggest the biting thing because it work for my nephew. She says no, she doesn't agree with that she'll bring me a bottle of hot sauce and I was supposed to put a drop of that on his tongue if he bit anyone again! (crazy lady)
Now which sounds crueler to you?

zdk753 replied: We had a 3yr old girl that was always biting someone at the daycare I used to work at. The boss wanted all of us to bite her back everytime she did it. The mom even wrote out a statement that said we could. One day I was getting her a coloring book & out of the blue she tried to bite me. The boss comes over & started yelling at me b/c I didn't bite her back. I tried to explain that she didn't actually bite me she just tried. The boss grabbed her arm & bit her. I walked out that day. I'll admit I have bit my children when they bit me. Not hard just enough to let them know that it hurts & they never bit me again, but there is no way I am going to bite someone else's kid. My luck they would have had me arrested.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Poor sweetheart! I did have to laugh at boobiesforvirtue's response tho and it does give you kind of a happy feeling knowing she will be kicked out! I do not agree with the grandma biting the little girl but I think the child should be punished big time! Kids will be kids BUT when it is going to cause harm to another child the line is drawn there! Hopefully tylenol and some extra love will make poor Logan feel better! We are sorry sweet boy!

NummyMommy replied:
Thats good to know....at least your son will be safe....I just worry about all the little land sharks out there too bad shes in a bad situation.

MM'sMama replied: Good for you . Poor little baby

CantWait replied: Your poor little guy, hope he feels better. I hate to say it, but mine is the little 2 year old that likes to bite, scratch, and hit.