Potty Training Help.
mummy2girls wrote: I have that 3 yr old boy in my dayhome that I have told you guys about that i think has some issues and possible Autism. Anyways he will be 4yrs old on Nov 1st and he has no idea at all about the potty. I have tried putting him on it, catching him before he poops, using rewards like stickers, but nothing. Have any ideas? I know boys are harder to train but with these possible issues he may take longer. But i will try anything.
moped replied: Are the parents going to consistent with him as well? I don't think you would succeed if they aren't toally on board as well!!!!
mummy2girls replied:
oh i knwo if they are not on board it wont happen. BUT i cant just sit here and not try. this child is peeing through his pullup becaus eof this. I just want to try iot here and see...
Celestrina replied: Talk with the parents to see what they are doing, that way you will both be on the same page.
mummy2girls replied:
They are not doing anything at all, i just needs ideas that i can try here and pass on to them if it works here
moped replied:
So are they just waiting for him to decide on his own? 
Boo&BugsMom replied: I would write up a potty training plan for him and give it to the parents, and tell them it's high time they at least try it out. He needs the consistancy between home and daycare or else anything you do really isn't going to matter, IMO. It may take more time given his disabilities, but it certainly doesn't mean he's untrainable. If he's leaking through his pull up, that might be because he is letting it all out at once when his bladder is full, resulting in leaking through the diaper/pull up. That is a clear sign that he can probably do it, IMO. Don't let his parents use his disablity as a crutch. That only goes so far. Sure it poses as a road block, but it's certianly not anything that can't be dealt with.
mummy2girls replied:
i dont know. With them they know he needs to be assessed more because the speech therapist said he needs ot be in a program and gave them numbers to call and such but they havent followed through. They just wait to see if they catch him. they said dont push him, dont rush him he will do it when he is ready... DOH!!!!
mummy2girls replied:
oh i know believe me.. i just thought i would try something here and then if it a bit of a success i will talk to the mom
Boo&BugsMom replied:
They need to realize that with some kids, you have to just give them a little extra nudge. Nudging is far from pushing. Seems like they just want to sit back and do nothing until he reaches his 10th birthday and decides he wants to use the bathroom.
coasterqueen replied: Well if he has behavioral issues, or autism or whatever, he MAY need more time. You don't want to pressure them too much and it really does take everyone on board. Do you have another little boy that you sit that can show him how he goes when he goes? That can help some. It sometimes takes longer with kids who have issues like this one may have and pressuring them too much can only make things worse. IMO.
Boo&BugsMom replied: Karen gave a great idea...take him into the potty with another little boy so he can see what to do.  Has anyone done this with him before? Even a girl would suffice if you plan on having him sit to go at first.
It will take more time than other kids, I would assume, but it doesn't mean there isn't any hope for him. It never hurts to try it out. You can always come back to it later on if it doesn't seem to be working. I think it's important to at least give him some credit though.
What about a potty chart with stickers? One sticker for trying, two for "going". We use M&M's for Aiden, but we're not "training", just introducing it. Has he been introduced to it (the potty) before? Will he sit at all? Has he gone yet? Sorry for the 20 questions. 
Celestrina replied:
I wouldn't recommend that without the girl's parents permission. They might not appreciate having a boy watch her go to the bathroom - and I wouldn't blame them.
mummy2girls replied:
i just have boys in my dayuhome and teh other 2 is 1 so not ready for potty training
Boo&BugsMom replied:
I can see where some people would mind, but at that age I personally wouldn't.
coasterqueen replied:
My daycare provider did this with all the kids and it worked well for all of us.
mummy2girls replied:
oh i know it will take time and you cant push. I just want to try timy steps and see if he responds. if he doesnt then ill back awaya nd try again down the road.
coasterqueen replied:
Tiny steps are great with kids like this. Have you tried videos like Elmos Potty Time or something like that? Maybe have him watch something like this and put the potty out in front of the tv and say "ok, we are gonna practice sitting on our potties while we watch this". Not really having them pull their pants down, etc, but just so they get comfortable with the potty chair, maybe? Megan was a little more behind in the training than Kylie was and it took a LOT of little steps to get her there, but when she was ready it happened. GL. 
Boo&BugsMom replied: You could try the sinking cheerios method. ??? Maybe if it was like a game he'd be more interested?
Is there more of an issue with getting him to 'understand what to do' given his situation, or is he just unwilling??? It certainly would make it harder if he just doesn't understand what to do at this point.
Boo&BugsMom replied:
Aiden drags his out of the closet, puts it in front of the tv, takes the toilet part out (the part that the urine/poop falls into), puts the toilet part on his head because he says it's a "hat", then sits in the empty potty seat and proceeds to watch tv that way.  He also doesn't like the cushion seat on it, so his little butt sinks to the floor because he refuses to sit on the actual seat itself. 
Sorry, a bit off subject, but that is what I was reminded of when I read that.
MommyToAshley replied: I know you said that the parents aren't doing anything, but I would at least open up communication with the parents about it. I think communicatin is the most important thing between a dcp and a parent and I would want to know even if it is something you consider minor such as potty training. There may be a reason they don't want to push him into potty training right now. There was a little girl that was friends with Ashley around that age. Her mom tried to force potty training on the little girl, she got scared and held it in so long and became very constipated and was actually hospitalized for it. That is probably a rare case, but I would definitely talk to the parents first as you may not know that entire history.
mummy2girls replied:
I always have open communication with them. I discussed with the mom about the potty training issue. She said to me that if i have any ideas to try and pass them on to her. The nurse that assessed him at home said to not push him and to try to catch him when he goes. And i have accepted that and im not going to push him! I offered to try some things with him, she said go ahead. and if it works then she will try. She herself just doesnt want to take the initiative to do it herself. He does have issues and i get that, there may be reasons why he isnt getting it BUT without the parents getting him further assessment or help there is nothing i can do. I dont know what the issues are, i dont know if he can be trained yet but again im going into this blinded. I just want to try some things with him and see if it works. if it doesn't then ill back off. I am not one that forces little kids to do things. I if see they are struggling and simply can not understand then i wait until a later date and try again. I never go into anythingw ith the dayhome kids unless I talk with the parent first
MommyToAshley replied: That's good. I must have misunderstood your post when you said that you were going to try some things because the mother wasn't taking initiative. I'm glad you discussed it with her. Good luck... I hope you find something that works.
mummy2girls replied:
thats ok. I have a tendancy to not word my words right... Or add in everything i am thinking:(
coasterqueen replied:
OMG that is HILARIOUS!!!!! I want pictures of that.   What a silly boy. But so cute!!! 
Boo&BugsMom replied:
Oh I plan on getting a picture soon. He does it all the time now.
Then...this morning he wanted to sit on the big boy potty. He took it upon himself while I wasn't looking, only problem is he forgot one thing...forgot to put the kiddie seat on. Needless to say...he fell right in, butt first, all wet. He just sat there with his butt sunk in the water like "WTH?"!
Shelly, is this the same kid in your other post? Or a different one?
I'm sure whatever you end up doing will be what is best for the little guy. I'm wondering why mom doesn't want to take the initiative though if she's ok with trying it out.  Did she give you a reason why? I guess that is why I was questioning her in the beginning. If she really wanted to try I would think she'd want to give him as much consistancy as possible instead of only following through half the time, KWIM? And I would think that a kid in this situation, he'd need even more consistancy. Baby steps, like Karen said, but also consistancy between home and your dayhome. Ya know?
This is one reason I was so frustrated with parents sometimes when I did daycare. They wanted their kids trained, but they wanted me to do all the work...with pottying, behavior, everything I totally agree that because of his issues that it will be harder and you will have to approach it more casually than normal, but if she really wants to see if anything works then she really needs to cooperate WITH you and try the same things at home. JMO though. That's more or less why I suggested a potty plan of sorts. I really think it would be in his best interest to have mom on board with it at home too.
Good luck! KUP!
mummy2girls replied:
same guy:(
Boo&BugsMom replied:
Ah, I see.
youngmomofone replied: Good luck with the potty training. My daughter is special needs (developmentally delayed and has a couple signs of autism but is not autistic) and she trained at 5 years 3 months. Hopefully it wont take him that long!
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