Question - about gift giving

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: DH's coworker invited us to her wedding reception, but we couldn't make it because Wil's party was the next day. I had too much to do. Anyway, DH isn't close to her at all, but I think she probably invited everyone in the office (which IMO, is just a way to get more gifts). Sorry, just being honest. I ALWAYS give a gift even though we don't make it to a party, but I only want to spend maybe $25 or $30 max. DH wants to spend $50! I'm torn because it's HIS coworker and maybe it should be his decision, but on the other hand, I don't even think we spent that much for our family member's birthdays this year, so why the coworker, that honestly, means nothing to us??

What would you do? It's way after the fact...the reception was early this month. I don't ever do this, but I sorta don't want to get anything. Money is tight. But DH has to work with her and he said his other coworkers bought something. I wish they could just go in together on something...but, sorry, men never think to do that do they??!!

luvbug00 replied: I'd get her $25 in a gift certificate for the local department store or somthing if she is not close friend then I wouldn't go out of my way to please her..unless she is control of payroll

amymom replied:

kit_kats_mom replied: How far in advance of the wedding were you invited? I think the general rule of thumb is a gift should equal what the couple would have paid if you had gone. So, if it were a formal sit down dinner with an open bar, around $100 but if it was a casual, buffet style snacky kind of thing, then maybe only about $50. However, if you really think the invite was just for gifts then I'd say 25-30

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
It was a casual thing at a bar. We got the invite maybe three weeks out. I have no idea if dinner would be served, but I doubt it was a full sit down. I think I may go with $30. It's mean of me to think she only invited us for a gift, but come on, the office is big and DH doesn't know her at all. He says he doesn't really even like her much. I met her once. Her fiance made an uncomfortable sexual comment to me at the xmas party last year...so strange.

ediep replied: thats a toughie because I have never been to a casual wedding reception at a bar, in this part of the country (NY, NJ) wedings are HUGE fancy expensive sit down affairs. We usually give at least $200 to even cover our plates.

If I were in your situation, I would definately give a gift, maybe $50 or so.

KingMom replied:
After you said that, I'd say $30 max!

luvbug00 replied:

mom2colin says $30 I say nothing! little stinker!

gr33n3y3z replied:
I agree zip nothing

zdk753 replied: If you didn't go to the reception I don't see the point in getting them anything. Maybe I'm not up to date on etiquette, but I wouldn't get a gift unless I go to the party or whatever it is.

Kaitlin'smom replied: so if she envited the entire office and hardly knows alot of them personally that sounds like she is fishing for gifts. I woudl just send a nice card saying congrats and nothing more, but if you feel like you should $25 would be all in some sort of gift card.

PreciousBabyDelights replied:
make a towel cake
take a towel, hand towel, and wash cloth roll them up tie with ribbon and place them atop of each other


Take flowers and decorate, add like a bath kit
soap ,bubble bath , puff ball ,

msoulz replied: I think you should give whatever you wish and they should be grateful for whatever you give!! I had a friend who felt that if she gave a shower gift she should not give a wedding gift, so my thank you to her was "Thanks for sharing our day". Isn't that what it's supposed to be about, or am I just looney? ("Just looney" is an acceptable answer!! )

OH, by the way, the towel cake is so cool!!

PreciousBabyDelights replied:
Thanks I sell them alond with the plants that the board is having the sweapstakes for

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I say a card with congratulations should be enough. Especially if you hardly know her. And does your DH know about the comment? That may color his opinion a little differently.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I wouldn't get her a thing and I wouldn't think another thing about it. I can't believe people would just invite anyone to their wedding. Weddings are intimate affairs.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Thanks for all the comments...but I'm still stuck. I asked DH last night if it was okay if we just don't get anything and his response was "well I work with her everyday Rae". About the fiance comment, it was uncomfortable, but I suppose not the wife's fault. DH was introducing me to them and commented on how beautiful he thought I looked. The fiance agreed and said "Yeah, I've been totally trying to check you out all night!" Right in front of his fiance! I just met the guy and we're at a work party...please! So although he probably just meant it as a compliment, I thought it was sorta rude. Especially in front of his soon to be wife. DH just teases me about it, because he's not the jealous type. He says "Chandler was checking you out!" The guy was the twin of Matthew Perry on Friends. No kidding.

Anyway , I'm just going to get a $25 gift from Bed Bath & Beyond and call it a day. DH has to work with the girl, so we must keep things cool for him. He loves his job too much! And I suppose I'm just doing my duty of buying the gifts for everyone and their mother's!! LOL!