Question for you all! - Am I being bad?

amymom wrote: So the question is: Is this wrong?

Tomorrow is my birthday. For the past few years I have reminded my family and then they acknowledge my birthday, but they 'forgot' to do a cake and I had to make my own cake most years, which I do not mind doing so long as they ask. One year Lee bought a cake, but it was coffee flavored and that is the only thing I won't eat / drink. We do not do much for our birthday's, just go to dinner and the kids get us a small gift Lee picks mine out I pick his out. He got a t-shirt and pj pants from the kids. (his birthday is March 9th) Usually a few days before any of our birthdays we discuss which night we are going out to dinner for it, so I can plan the meals for the week. Noone mentioned it this year, so I didn't bring it up. I really am amused by it, with the little piece of my heart that is saddened by the fact that noone has mentioned it. I thought I had raised my son & daughter better than that!!!


Anyway is it bad to 'test' them this way? I really am interested in if any of them actually remember. But I don't want to be sad tomorrow..... yet I really want to see if they will remember on their own. It would restore my faith in them!!!

I do not expect my MIL to have remembered, she barely recalls her own. It is written on two calenders in the house, so someone ought to recall it.

I just want your opinions on this, maybe I should bring it up, then they can save face and pretend they remembered. I really don't think they have. They are not very good at keeping secrets. Next year I won't have this problem, because I turn 50 and plan to announce it everywhere!!!!

DansMom replied: I would bring it up and let them save face... as well as do some last-minute planning. If they were going to forget, then everyone will feel bad.

ETA: Happy Birthday!!

Kaitlin'smom replied: I have had my birthday forgotten before and it sucks, me if its on 2 calanders I woudl ask them to so see if (pick a day) is open and that way they are forced to look at the calander, hopefully they will see tomorrows date and they 'remember' on their own tomorrow and you did not have to remind them.

HAPPY eary BIRTHDAY!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I would mention it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I would just flat out tell them. Say "hey, who's big day is tomorrow?" This way no one feels bad, especially you! It's a win win situation, although you have to do a lot of the planning. It will get better when they get a bit older.

amymom replied: Ok Ok I will bring it up!!! I really wanted someone to tell me I was doing the right thing, but knew I was being bad.

Maybe I will bake a cake tonight before my meeting and then hand hubby the frosting and tell him to frost it for tomorrow. He should get that hint right???
If I tell Mary Beth she will handle the whole thing, she is good that way.


Rae! Hubby is old enough!!! Yeah the kids hopefully will continue to get more thoughtful?!?!?!?

Thanks guys! I will stop testing them!!!

And thank you everyone for the early birthday wishes!!!

luvmykids replied: Nobody, including DH, remembers until I say "We're going to my moms for my bday dinner" (she still asks what I want for my special dinner and gets a cake )

But I know how you feel, it's not that big of a deal but still, it would be nice to NOT have to plan your own bday

boyohboyohboy replied: anne marie, first happy birthday, and my DH never remembers either....
but once I thought I would "punish" him and not remind him, and in the end it was me who felt just horrible when he forgot...so its best for you in the long run to remind them..
how about marking it on the calander in red for them each year?

Kaitlin'smom replied:
ummm if he is like most me he woudl be like HUH? whats this for. some men just are NOT good with hits

lisar replied: I say dont mention it. And then remind them of it afterwards and let them feel bad. Then they will be willing to make it up to you. Sorry they dont remember but I have to remind my DH ALL the time when mine is. He would never remember.

mom21kid2dogs replied: Gee, I guess the fact that I've always treat my birthday as if it should be a National Holiday (and everyone elses too) wasn't such a bad plan after all. There is no chance of them forgetting. I start planning months in advance!

Like you, I'd be tempted to wait it out but I fear I'd find the "real deal" to be too emotionally crushing if they really didn't remember. I'd probably make some flip comment like "Oh yeah. Dairy Queen called. That ice cream cake you ordered is ready for pick up" and enjoy watching the squirming. Of course, the joke will be on you if they are actually planning a big "Happy 49" bash!!!

BTW, I just noticed our hubbies share the same birthdate. Mine was 50 this year.

amymom replied: Cheryl,
Usually I make a big deal out of birthdays too, and I did for MB's Feb 4th, Billy's Feb 28th, Lee's. So you see they are all right in a row. We are tired of birthdays before March is over! This year.... I have been busy the past week, so my birthday hasn't come up. Then I decided not to bring it up. But the cat is out of the bag now.

Wow! Lee turned 59 this year. So he hits the big 60 next year. We will be celebrating!!!

Mary Beth called me after she got home from school and she had lost a bet to me, so she said I owe you a dollar, can I get out of paying you. I said sure... you can use that $1 to buy me a birthday present. She got silent and then was like uh... got to go bye!! I said wait... Did you forget that tomorrow was my birthday? And she sheepishly said yeah.... I said that's ok it's not here yet and I bet Daddy forgot too. So go tell him. So Mary Beth is on the case.... Problem solved!