Queston for all moms and dads....

mummy2girls wrote: I was wondering about something... are you a laid back mom/dad that goes with the flow when it comes to messes your kids do or are you strict and find yourself yelling or getting upset over little things??

Im wondering because im pretty laid back. My sister is really strict and my brother is inbetween. For example...jenna has a tendancy to take all her movies and mine out of the shelf and leave them on the ground. she refuses to leave them alone. she will get food on her cloithes by accident or even purposly and i just say Oh well itll wash off. same as if she should tip over a glass of pop i had..i just go and grab a towel and clean it up. No biggie. My sis is quite the ooposite. my niece is 6 so its a little different. but if it actually was an accident my sis doesnt care she will punish her..My bro..it depends. depending on what happened if it was purposly or accident thats how he responds. I think i may and should be a little more strict as jenna gets older so she learns not to be so messy! But right now. whatever happens happens..LOL

how are you guys?

Elle replied: It depends. When they're accidents I'm pretty laid back, I won't punish the kids just because they dropped their drink on the floor or whatever... Those things happen, even to grown-ups. But if they break or spill something on purpose... Ugh, I'm actually able to pull out a Hulk in those cases. It doesn't happen very often, thank God (green is not my colour *lol*)

Mom2Boyz replied: Well, Conner isn't big enough yet to make too many messes, but he does get quite dirty when he's eating!!! I just laugh it off and stick him in the tub if he gets too messy with his food, I figure it's a baby thing, and he's just curious and exploring new things. But it drives his daddy absolutly crazy!!! He just can't understand why he has to make such a mess.
So I think as Conner gets older, I'll be the more laid back one, and his daddy will be more strict.

A&A'smommy replied: Alyssa isn't big enough for me to be strict, so right now I try to be laid back, sometimes I have to go in the other room and let her fuss when she screams if I put her down for five seconds. But other than that i'm pretty laid back....I will probably be inbetween when alyssa gets old enough to understand those things.

paradisemommy replied: i am so totally laid back..lol. taven spills stuff all the time - i don't even fuss a little bit..if he's just playing around and does it on purpose then i will tell him NO NO but that's about it and i'll just clean it up and go on - messes on his clothes..no biggie. i figure you can always change his clothes. i think part of being little is having fun and playing in the dirt and getting all dirty!! plus taven is ALL boy!!

Boys r us replied: I'm very laid back. In fact a lot of my nosey nelly family who like to butt in, tell me that I'm too laid back with my kids. But I disagree, as a parent you have to choose your battles and the ones you choose to "fight out" you had better make sure you can win them...so choose carefully!
Right now, my kids are 7 and 2...how could I possibly get upset with either of them over an accident? They're kids!!!! Accidents are going to happen.
I know my oldest son Tanner, he's had friends who have come over and accidentally spilled their drink and they freak out like they're waiting for someone to scream at them...it really breaks my heart, b/c that's just not right!
Because I'm so laid back with them, if Tanner breaks something of mine, he doesn't hide it, he comes and tells me b/c he knows I may be disappointed that one of my favorite things got broke, but he knows he's not going to be yelled at or in trouble!
I don't ever want my kids to fear my voice!

jem0622 replied: For Gabe (19 mos) I would expect lots of mess. As long as it is in the kitchen I'm okay with it. But if he tries to purposefully spill his sippy then he loses the sippy.

For Nathan (4) I would expect him to try and be careful but would still expect some mess.

I am okay with all the toys coming out but Nathan is learning (slowly) that he needs to put them back. We do help with putting away. I'd never expect him to do it all on his own.

Julie

*Heather* replied: I am pretty laid back when it comes to "accidents". Alison is only 21 months so there really isn't too much that she understands. However, there are times when she knows she is doing something wrong and I too can become a little monster about it. She drinks from a "big girl" cup (good bye sippies ) So there are a lot more messes. BUT she will shake the cup or put her hands in the cup and splash it all around. I know she knows that is a no no with me so she does it and laughts. Little booger.

MomToMany replied: I'm laid-back when it comes to accidents. But when they're looking right at you with a big smile on their face as they dump out their milk/juice/whatever, then I get upset. Kids are meant to make messes; it's how they learn. My kids should be geniuses since our house is such a mess!

coasterqueen replied: It depends here as well. If it's an accident, I'm pretty laid back about it. After all my husband is the number one clutz, so accidents happen in our house 24/7, so I'm assuming I need to get used to that with Kylie too.

Now if she does something on purpose, that depends too. If she takes all the dvds out of the tv cabinet, no real biggie. I'll pick them up sometime. But if she takes her plate of food and tosses it across the room or something of the sort, I get in a tizzy.

kimberley replied: i am pretty laid back when it comes to accidents too. i mean, they are just kids, these things will happen. i learned long time ago to pick my battles and accidentally knocking over their milk will not make me have a meltdown. DH on the other hand...........

Kaitlin'smom replied: pretty laid back also here espically when she does not mean to make a mess, now when she trowes her food ont the foor pn perpose then I tell her we dont do that but i dont yell at her, She has learned not to trwo it on th floor onfact now she is starting to hand it to me when she does not like it or is done. I like that much better I really dont plan on being strick when it comes to messes or accidents, i woul drather know about them and have her hlep clean them up then to scream at her and find them by acident. I will pick my battle with her, I want a warm loving open relationship, not a feared one who cant and wont talk to me.