RAGING MAD!!!! - long... sorry

kimberley wrote: i have spent the past three hours crying and completely freaking out!!!!!!!! i am waging WAR against the boys' school tomorrow! right to the superintendant of the school board!

The boys' grandmother was going to pick them up today after school to spend some time with them since she is only in the city 2 days a week now since she bought her house 2 hrs away. i got a call around 3:45pm from their dad saying his mother couldn't find them outside at school. i called the school and they put me on hold forever, then some lady picks up the phone and tells me she is from CAS (Children's Aid Society) and is holding my kids because she has to investigate a report the school made! my mouth dropped and i asked what was going on and she told me Jacob had a black eye (tiny little mark under his right eye that he likely did at school) and she was going to question both kids then call me back. half hour goes by and i call back and she tells me that she is coming to check out my house and will not release the boys to grandma. i was freaking! she gets here around 5pm with the boys and starts interrogating me. of course, i stupidly got defensive which made her worse. eventually i calmed down and we talked for about an hour and the claims the school is making are insane!!!!! even she thought so after a while of talking. about 2yrs ago they brought up that Jacob didn't have appropriate lunches. i confronted the teacher and asked her if she ever looks in his bag because i pack him plenty and she admitted she didn't. end of story.. or so i thought. they told CAS that they have ALWAYS come with inappropriate lunches or no lunch at all... BS!!!!!!! not ONE day has ever gone by that i don't make them lunch or buy them pizza and bring it just before lunch. they usually get a sandwhich, a yogurt, fruit, crackers, a fruit roll up and a drink or two. then they said the kids aren't clean... umm, do you know a kid who is???? they start out clean in the morning.. but it's the summer! they are either in the playground or sandbox at school and are always filthy by the time they come home. and if these were such big issues, why the F--- have they never said anything to me?!?! i talk to the social worker on a monthly basis almost and the 4 or 5 times i have spoken to his teacher this year she is very untalkative and just says everything is fine. these people are on crack!!!!! again, this is a freakin conspiracy because they don't like the living arrangements i have. (boys' dad rents my self contained basement apartment). *I* am the one who has been instrumental on bringing in a social worker to help Jacob cope with socializing and his learning disability! *I* am the one who has taken him to shrinks, eye doctors, ear doctors, neurologists etc to get to the root of his problems in school! *I* am the one who got him put on an IEP and special ed and maintained constant communication with the school, yet they make ME out to be the neglectful parent?!?! what about the concussion he got in the playground that NO ONE told me about?! what about the french teacher who berated and humiliated my child that has a learning disability when he couldn't keep up with the rest of the class?! there are so many incidences that i couldn't possibly list them all. if anyone is neglectful.. THEY ARE!

end result.. i am going to have a case worker up my arse for the next six months because i have marital problems. like that had anything to do with the black eye... but whatever... i just gotta deal with it now . the lady even inspected my fridge ... gee, what did she find? TONS of food

why does all this crap happen to me?!?!

Boys r us replied: Oh my god, Kimberly!! I am so sorry! I can't imagine what they are thinking or for that matter, how you must be feeling right now and how shook up your poor boys must have been! I don't even know what to say, I do hope that this all gets worked out very soon!

Insanemomof3 replied: WOW. That teacher/school sounds HORRIBLE. I am sorry you are going through this. They need to realize that kids are kids and will get dirty or fall and hurt themselves or fight over something and get black eyes. Sheesh, that is part of growing up, guess they forgot those parts. Oh and I almost forgot, do your kids trade lunches with other kids? I always did that.

Hope things get better.

mckayleesmom replied: what a load of droppings

3xsthefun replied: Oh, Kimberley, I'm so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like that school is really bad. I hope things work out for you real soon!

amynicole21 replied: WTF?!? I would be livid, too. Definitely speak to the superintendant, and I would even go as far as putting everything in writing to him in the event that they ever pull this crap again

A&A'smommy replied: OMG OMG I can't believe they are doing that!!!! Kimberly it is NONE of their business that you are having marital problems or that their father lives in your basement IMHO that should make it easier on your kids. (((((BIG HUGS))))) I'm sorry you are going through this right now!!!

amymom replied: oh Gosh! I am sorry!

luvbug00 replied: WHAT!!?? How incredably insane!! Kids can get marks from anywhere and It was Compleatley wrong for This lady to acuse you of all this outragous stuff!! I'm so sorry and I would file a complaint to the schoolboard.

JAYMESMOM replied: I am so sorry that this happened to you. That is utterly and totally insane. I would definitely be going up to the school board tomorrow. The teacher was totally out of line. I am sure you will get thru it just fine. Hang in there.

mummy2girls replied: OMG kimberely! That is horrible! man if they come to the result of every kid that gets bruises and such then they would have a hay day with jenna as she is always bruising herself! That is total bull crap! I am so sorry this is happeniong to you. you dont need this expecially because you are going through alot right now!

b&bsmom replied: I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope everything gets worked out for you soon. ((((Big Hugs))))) You will be in my thoughts. Good Luck.

coasterqueen replied: That is just plain awful! I can't believe you have to go through this. I'm so sorry.

kit_kats_mom replied: Goodness Kimberley. If I didn't know better, I'd think you had ticked off someone who is now out to get you. This just sounds crazy and not at all what you need right now. I sure hope it gets resolved quickly.

MommyToAshley replied:

OMG, Kimberley! I can't believe that you have to deal with this. We all know what you have gone through with the school, and your kids are pretty darn lucky to have you as theirMom. You are involved in their lives and have fought to ensure they receive the best education.

I agree with Amy, make sure you document everything. I hope you see some results after talking to the superintendant!

Let us know how it goes. I am sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else.

paradisemommy replied: oh man..you have every right to be livid as would i..i agree with amy..document everything, i would write a letter and go above their heads to make a complaint..what a crock of crap..you have done nothing wrong and have been an awesome mother..wtf is wrong with these people?

Josie83 replied: Oh my gosh Kim, you have every right to be angry. How dare they say things like that to you! I realy hope that you sort things out and that everything gets better xx

gr33n3y3z replied:
that is my guess also.

Sorry Kimberley you will get through this also just fine

If you want to find out who called , all you have to do is press charges for wrongly accused and hire a lawyer and not only that to clear your record bc that will always be there unless you fight to get it taken off your record.
This happend to a friend of mine so I know a little about it and of course they found nothing on her either.

DVFlyer replied: This stinks.

I don't get this at all. I'd be totally pi$$ed too. I'd become that school's worst enemy. I will (almost) always admit when I've done something wrong, but, as in your case, if someone is just sooooo far off base, I make sure they know it and never forget it.

kimberley replied: thanks everyone.

DV, i am the same as you.. i always own up to my errors. they had an issue with lateness (5minutes at most but dad drives them) and i thought i was dealing with the issue with the social worker but obviously she has chosen to draw her own conclusions and take harmful action.

Jacob couldn't leave the house this morning. he was bawling saying "but what if that lady tries to take me away again. i love you mommy!"
it took me til 10am to snuggle and calm him enough to take him in. they have no idea or care about the damage they have caused by their actions yesterday.

i hope to see the lawyer tomorrow morning to see what my rights are here. i really don't want to pull Jacob from this school because he has finally established a nice peer group and is getting the extra help with english but if they keep harrassing me, i will have no choice. i set up a meeting for monday morning with the boys' class teachers, the principal and the social worker. i want them all in one room so they can explain to my face why there seems to be such a major communication breakdown. the things they said to the CAS worker were appaling and untrue. i have always strived to keep constant communication going with the school and for them to do this to me... i am outraged! i am hoping to record the session if it is legal. i put a call into the superintendant but haven't heard back yet. i am composing my own paper trail regarding incidences and grievances i have voiced to the principal, teachers and social worker. luckily, i vent here, so i have a very accurate account and time of when these things happened by reading my posts.

Cary, i really wonder about what you said all the time. who the heck did i P- off this much that my life is a constant uphill battle?!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: OMG I'm so sorry to hear this Kimberley! I think you are doing the right thing with the school, tatk to them and tell them how you feel. I can't believe they kept your kids until 5:00. That's just terrible! I know it's not going to be pleasant having a CAS worker involved, I felt the same way you do. I didn't want them to be involved, I felt like such a bad parent. But that has since changed and I don't know what I would do without my worker right now.

I hope things go well for you with the school!

aspenblue1 replied: I am so sorry. I hope you get everything worked out with the school.

gr33n3y3z replied: OMG what did they do to your son to make him not want to go back
I would have that lawyer with you during that meeting and I would pull him out of that school so fast and come down hard on them all for doing this to your children.

I'm so sorry Kimberley

Sarah&Mackenzie replied: I would be upset too!!! That is so wrong. Heck if it was me I would right down every incident and then go to a lawyer!!!

DVFlyer replied: Don't worry if it's legal or not to tape them (unless the lawyer comes with you). You're not in court, so legalities won't matter (just don't tell them that). Bring a recorder along and place it out in the open- do NOT hide it. Ask if there are any objections to the conversation being taped. If they object, tell them it's obvious they are afraid of saying something wrong, so you will need to speak to your lawyer and/ or have a letter already written setting them up for a slander case.

You could also hire a court reporter (I have no idea if this is possible) and if they object to being recorded, ask about a court reporter documenting the conversation.

If they don't object, as soon as you hit record, start by saying, "This is (your name) and the date is "X" and I'm here with "X", "X" and "X". Do you all understand that this meeting is being recorded and do you all give your permission for me to record this meeting?

Have them each state their name and confirm their permission. This, hopefully, will show them your seriously PO'd enough to take it this far.

Very worst case scenario, you go to court this isn't allowed so you call your local news station and THEY'LL air it.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Oh poor Jacob!! That is so awful, Kim!! I'm so sorry. I feel so badly for you guys. I wish I were there to give you a big hug right now. I know you are strong, but enough is enough, right?? How traumatizing for the boys. I couldn't even imagine! I hope you get something worked out soon. Do they go to school year round or will they be out for the summer soon? Let us know what happens when you talk to the superintendent. I just don't understand why they have targeted your family. You really, really don't need this right now and neither do the kids.

3_call_me_mama replied: I just don't know what to say. Kimberly, my thoughts adn prayers are with you. Remember that regardles of what anyone says, you love your children adn are a good mother. You children know adn feel your love for them. Please know that we are here for you and that our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Emeraldsmom replied: I am so sorry! Like you need this to deal w/too! I can not believe those people. I don't really know what to say except you will be in my thoughts and I hope everything gets better for you.

redchief replied: Sorry Kimberley. Some people just love to kick people when they're down. I'll keep you guys in my prayers.

maestra replied: This is just ridiculous. Dv is right- put the recorder out in the open, and tell them that you would like to tape.

Also- as a teacher, we HATE being ratted out in writing or in person to the Superintendent. That is because we know that we can get in a whole load of trouble. That would be the first place I recommend you to go.

As a side note- in my district there are only two people who can make a call to CPS (child protective services). One is our social worker, who does a home visit first. The other is our principal, and only in severe cases of abuse. Sounds like there is no chain of command for this kind of thing at that school.