SIL....what would you do?

mummy2girls wrote: ok this is my situation....

My SIL is doing a mothers day BBQ on Mothers day! Which we all love because then we dont have to go here and there and etc. My parents go as well. Saves a big headache. Well this is where it gets iffy for me... and im on the fence about it....

I want to do up some gifts for the moms from Jenna and Breanna. So one for marcus's moma nd one for my mom. Im doing up a small scrapbook of teh girl from birth to now. This is more for marcus's mom because she never knew jenna as a baby and met her at age 4. All the baby pics and such are on my computer. Im going to do pics of them when born and then a page of thier hand prints, etc etc etc etc up until now... so my desicion im dealing with is this... do i tell my SIL. Because she can either react by pulling em aside and say why didnt you tell me you were doing this and include my girls? or she may go awwww hat a sweet idea. She is like a volcano you dont know if she will erupt or not. Plus if i tell her she will have me make the gifts from her girls as well. This happened last year. I told her i was doing a shadow box with thier picture and handprints. She said ooooh can u do my girls as well and then she even had me do HER MIL's gifts as well. YES i know im a sucker and i could of said no but i didnt...

So marcus says dont tell her and if she starts something i will pull her aside and deal with her... SOOOOO what would you do....

boyohboyohboy replied: I would make the gift and either give them out before the party starts, or the day before mothers day. That way it's seen as " stealing your sisters thunder" at her party.

mummy2girls replied:
yes but the bbq is for mothers day and i cant give out our gifts. This is where im on teh fence about telling her... I dont think i should have to not give mine out just because she may see it as stealing her thunder... Its not faior to my girls... Im just worried if i tell her i will end up doing 2 more of them but if i dont then she may react and be upset....

amymom replied: Did she ask you what you were getting?

If not don't worry about it and let Marcus deal with the blow up (if there is one).

Alternatively, You could make a smaller one for her of both your girls, or maybe pics of your girls and her kids and put Happy Mother's Day to a special Aunt on the cover and then, if she asks what you are getting the mom's you could say you want it to be a surprise. Then she will be surprised by receiving a gift. (If there are other mother's involved than it could be a hostess gift for a 'special' Aunt)

Good luck with whatever you decide.

mckayleesmom replied: Shelly...you really need to stop trying to please and tip toe around this woman. Just do what you would normally do....if she throws a fit.she throws a fit. If she asks you what you are giving for gifts...just say that you are not sure yet. It sounds like this woman has some serious childish jelousy issues. My sister is just like this....I just don't tell her what I'm doing if I can help it.

luvbug00 replied: I totally agree with Brianne and Marcus. Say nothing, do what u want let Marcus handle his sister.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I wouldn't tell her either. It's your gift to your mom and MIL, from you and YOUR girls, so why should you include her girls in your gift? Maybe if it was something she would work on with you and take an equal share in, but if she's just going to get you to do it all then I say no way.

mummy2girls replied:
i know i know:( I keep saying this to myself...

A&A'smommy replied: just do what you want to do, if she throws a fit then let Marcus deal with her. That is SO childish!

msoulz replied:
ITA with this too. You can't control her reactions to things and you should not let her control what you do. It sounds like a really great thing you want to make and the grandparents will love it ... if SIL doesn't like it, too freakin' bad!

coasterqueen replied:

PrairieMom replied:


Yup. Don't let her craziness become your problem. She's a nut. Do your thing, and ignore her. You Can't win anyway. Don't waste energy.

luvbug00 replied: after some thought i know what we are saying is easier then done. especially since your so nice and dont want the fight in the beginning.
Although i dont think it's fair for you to have to put in all this work and have her assume that she needs to be a part of it.
in the end the choice is up to you.
I just think this has really gone overboard with her. It bothers me that it's so stressful for you to do your own thing for a holiday for your mothers in your family. It shouldn't be and I hope you can figure out a way to get this done with her being saine for your sake.

mummy2girls replied:
Yes its easier said then done BUT on another token you are right before as well. I shouldnt live my life over what she will say act or react. This is my life I do what I want! I have to make my life sane and be more relaxed by stopping living my life around HER. Its stupid and insane! I just think because she is just like a volcano and you just dont know if she will explode or not... Pretty much bite the bullet and do it and just hope for a good reaction...LOL. i am an adult and i need to put my big girl panties on and deal!!!

im not telling her im doing this,. im just going to do it and have marcus deal with his sis if something erupts. Ill update you all after the bbq....LOL