SO DEPRESSED!!!!!!! - The kids @ work called me FAT...... :(

CAMSMOM1 wrote: I'm actually really bummed out tonight. A few of the older kids called me FAT behind my back, they were all gossiping how FAT I am now, and how I look like a HIPPO!!! This is coming from a group of 6th grade Boys & Girls, and kids can be so harsh. Especially cause I used to be the "cool teacher". I know I'm fat, it's just hard to hear it from kids that are usually just sweet. They never thought it was going to find out, but I did, and I ended up crying at work. They were making fun of my "pouch" as I call it. They were poking fun of my saggy stomach, and how much I eat! After they knew I found out what they said, and saw me crying near the bathrooms, they came up to apoligize. But it still doesn't erase the fact of what they said, and I know it's true. Days like this I just want to never eat a piece of food again. I have really let myself go, and when the kids notice, then I know it's gotten bad.

MM'sMama replied: Oh Ann honey I'm so sorry! Kids can be so cruel and I know how much it can hurt! I know I cannot make what they said go away, but honey you are beautiful! I was looking at the pictures from Cam's birthday thinking dang Ann is really beautiful.

To be honest I HATE my body right now and I am constantly unhappy I am a dang hippo. I was doing so good for a while but then I got sick and it all came back plus a bunch. I feel like I have know one who knows what I'm going threw ALLLLLLLLL my friends went right back to their "perfect" thin little size 5 after having kids.

Hang in there honey I love you and I think your very beautiful!

luvmykids replied: They're old enough to know better but kids are still kids and can be mean. I know how much it hurt your feelings and I know you're feeling down on yourself but you are beautiful inside and out, I don't care what some 6th grade boy with stinky feet says!

1lilpeanut2love replied: AWWH Ann I am so sorry to hear that!! It hurts when people call you fat especially those people that you like/love. I know how you feel. It don't feel good. I am overweight too. I am so pressured to lose that it makes me feel so darn sad.

Kids definitely can be cruel. How darethem!!

You are definitely a beautiful, young, and sweet person. The pics with the kids and the party pics you looked awesome in.

Cheer up!! It is definitely not easy trying to lose weight. I have tried and it is hard!! Don't put yourself down!!

Edward's Mommy replied: I think you're a beautiful, incredibly special lady of GOD!!! GOD DOESN'T CARE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE!!!! And neither do I!!! Looks are only skin deep, your true beauty is within and shines through! Like Monica said, "I don't care what some 6th grade boy with stinky feet says!"

Crystalina replied: Ann, you have to realize that in a kids eyes you may be "fat" they are used to the little actressess and singers and all that stuff. In my eyes (reality) I don't think your fat. Your a mommy, we come in ALL sizes. Kids that age have unrealistic expectations.

I'm wishing I never would have taken Izabella to see Ice Age 2. They had Raymonds character making a comment about Queen Latiffa's (sp) characters butt. Now Izabella keeps telling me that I have a Queen Latiffa butt! Try hearing that all day, from your own kids. Evan is saying it now and he just thinks it sooooo funny.

Brias3 replied: Wow, kids can be so insensitive. I know how you must be feeling. Just know that you're a beautiful lady inside and out. You're a great wife, mother and friend and sometimes, stuff like this just has to be taken with a grain of salt. Forget about it and don't let it get to you.

Heather77 replied: I'm so sorry they said those things

CAMSMOM1 replied:


Thanks ladies. Yes, they are old enough to know better...and they thought I would never found out. But one of the girls decided to tell me, and I'm glad she did. It wasn't just one stinky boy, it was 5 boys & girls, and just the things they said, were so cruel. I felt like such a baby crying at work, and I didn't want them to see they got to me. But it was just the straw on the camels back, kwim? I bust my butt for those kids, I give them so much, spend money out of my own pocket, and this is what I get in return???? So much for feeling appreciated by them. I know kids say what they see, they are so truthful and blunt. And I know that they spoke the truth. Sure, I am not an ugly person, but I'm soooo overweight. There's no reason I should be ok with being 220 pounds at 5'6. It doesn't help when my Mom & Dad are always telling me how much weight I've gained, and my Dad is always trying to buy me a gym membership. Sure, I'd love to go to the gym, would he like to babysit for me?? And how they always remind me of the wedding I"m going to be in next month, and how I need to lose the weight to look good in the pictures. WTHeck?!
Sorry for the vent & pity party. I'm just at my witts end with myself, and tonight I just can't take it. Hopefully this will be enough for me to get motivated, stop complaining, and do something about it.
Thanks for the sweet comments. I wish I saw myself they way you guys do. I guess we are our own worst critic.

Nina J replied: I'm sorry Ann.
Whenever something like this happens to me, where someone says something that upsets me, I have a strategy to get over it. If I were in your situation, I'd say to myself "Okay, they said I'm fat. Did it kill me? No, it made me upset, even angry, but that is normal."
Don't let it make you upset for days. In my opinion, you are beautiful, inside and out. And, I also think your still the cool teacher. If these kids didn't think you were cool, I honestly don't think they would've apologised.

Negative thinking causes negative actions. Positive thinking causes positive actions. So, think positive.

holley79 replied: Oh Ann. You are beautiful. Kids are harsh as we know it. You don't let them get to you.

TANNER'S MOM replied: I have been where you are girl. I can remember when my nephew Colton looked at me and said Aunt Melba you are fat. And his mother just sat there. When I got home I just cried and cried. For me it was the truth, but the truth doesn't take the place of just bad manners. I think it's awful and I know how it hurts. I am sorry you felt that pain. I think I would make a lesson plan or type of play with those kids and let them ACT out what it feels like to be hurt. Have one child WHO doesn't wear glasses where them. Have the other kids tease him a bit and call him a geek, then have another child maybe wear a pillow under their shirt, and tease them a bit. But I mean do it in scripted way so everyone learns soemthing from it.

I would introduce them to the Mark Wills song.. Don't laugh at me. That is a very important song to me. Being that my son has wore glasses since he was 18 months old. Brittany is really short. Beautiful but short. She comes daily upset that someone called her a midget, dwarf or hobbet. The latest was someone asked her what kind of "disorder" she had that wouldn't allow her to grow. Tiffany is the tall one so she is teased about it and Justin has trouble with reading so he is teased. I think all kids need to learn what this does to other people. Kids can be so cruel!

I have tried to teach my kids no matter what you are in life you will be teased, so dont be that person that hurts other people. No one is perfect and we have all felt that awful feeling. I am sorry you felt it too!

amynicole21 replied: I'm so sorry, Ann At that age, kids say all sorts of mean things to look *cool* in the eyes of their peers. It's horrible. I know just how you feel though.

Sophia was saying how big my tummy was last night, and it got me really sad too. I tried to explain that it isn't nice to say things like that, but she didn't really understand that it was a mean thing to say. She was just making an observation... one that happens to be very accurate.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I'm so sorry Ann. That is a really mean age. And I'm sorry you happened to be at the butt end of their joke.

Maddie told me a couple of weeks ago that I was fat. It hurts. I know she wasn't trying to be mean b/c she was smiling but it's still hard to hear. Her daddy got onto her pretty good for it and made her apologize.

You are beautiful, Ann. We could all stand to lose more pounds....kids that age are all about outside appearance. Maybe it's time to teach them a lesson about what we see on the inside matters more. It might help all of you. (it certainly couldn't hurt)

Mom2BNTN replied: Ann, I am so sorry for the cruel comments those kids made about you. I know what they said concerning your weight made you feel sad and hurt your feelings, but most kids now a days don't have any respect for their own parents much less anyone else. You are such a beautiful woman as we have all seen from the pictures you have posted on here. I also know that true beauty lies within a person not on the outside which makes you beautiful inside and out. Keep your head held high and never forget how beautiful you really are!!


Kristi

jcc64 replied: I think it's a great opportunity to teach them about empathy. I also think it's GREAT that they saw you crying. Kids that age have so little awareness of the feelings of others, particularly adults. They should bear witness to the results of their gross insensitivity, and I do think schools have a responsibility to address inappropriate social behavior- not necessarily punitively, but to show a better way. Some kids never learn this stuff at home, kwim?
As far as how it made you feel, I've said this to you before. We've all had our ups and downs, Ann, some more than others. But the feelings are the same whether you're 10lbs overweight or 100. You need to make a decision whether you are going to make peace with your body as it is, or do something about it. There's nothing wrong with being a larger girl, as long as it's not affecting your health (including your mental health). If that's your choice, wear it with pride and know that your beauty shines from within, and nothing anyone says will take you down. But if you can't accept yourself as you are, then you have to do something about it. The inaction is what's probably making you sad, more than the actual weight.
Don't spend your whole life wishing for something that's in your power to obtain.

BAC'sMom replied: I am so sorry that your feelings were hurt by their childish comments. They are old enough to know better! Just wanted you to know I think you are a great mother and wonderful lady. Don’t let this get you down, it doesn’t matter if you weigh 125 or 525 I still care about you.

CosmetologyMommy replied: Ann, I know how u feel! My 7 year old sister's friend said I was fat! She asked me, "Shannan, why are u so big now?" and I thought she meant tall and she was like no, FAT! I was so upset, even though it was coming from a 7 year old because then I know it is true!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I think you're gorgeous!!!!!!!!

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
Wow Jeanne! I love what you just said there. I think I'm going to copy it and plaster it all over my house!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: OMG that is so awful! I'm so sorry to hear this! Please don't feel bad about yourself and let there words get to you!

JAYMESMOM replied: I know how that can be. Dont let them get you down though. Even parents dont always realize what they are saying when they say it. I am your weight and way shorter than you so I do know how you feel. But our bodies change when we ahve kids and the majority of the world does not go back to their "size 5" bodies. Come to think of it I never had a size 5 body.

Hang in there and remember you are special no matter what your weight is.

kayla's mama replied: Sorry the kiddos said that. You are a very beautiful person inside and out and don't forget it.

ilovemybaby replied: Awww Ann. I know they are just kids but that was very cruel. I am glad they apologized to you. Hopefully they meant it.
I am overweight too so I know what it's like. If a kid called me fat I would be upset too.

ilovemybaby replied: Also probably 50 percent of those kids will be overweight when they grow up. So that's something for them to think about. I know you can't tell them that but it is true. I was a normal size child and teenager and only became overweight at about age 18/19.
And when they have kids they will be overweight... even if just for a year or so.
Kids
I don't think I could be a school teacher. I would have said something back to them. Or I would have told them to go and see the principal.

CosmetologyMommy replied: If u do not mind me asking Ann, how did u find out what they said? and were they punished for it?

A&A'smommy replied: I'm sorry dear kids can be cruel sometimes.. I can understand I would be upset too. Are you going to talk to them about it?

jem0622 replied: Oh honey don't let it get to you. They are kids! Wait until they are our age and have born babies and so forth. I am so sorry they hurt your feelings.

Several months ago I was in Coldstone and forgot how horrible this zit/concealer stuff looked on my face. I went in there in my comfy clothes with this awful stuff on my face and these two prissy high school girls were laughing and saying stuff behind my back. Hurt my feelings so bad that I walked out without ice cream!

Shake it off sweety! You have a wonderful family!

coasterqueen replied: Ann, I think it's absolutely horrible that this happened to you and I'm sorry. Kids just can be mean unfortunately, but so can adults. If I can take back what they said so you don't have to hear it I would.

I'm going to say something that I hope doesn't offend you but may come off harsh. Sure it doesn't help when ANYONE tells you your fat or that you need to look good for pictures, etc. People should accept you for who you are. IF you feel you need to lose weight you have to not make any excuses to achieve it. I was a classic example for years saying well I don't have time to do this or that, etc, etc, etc. What did that do for me, nothing but left me fat and unhappy. IF you want to lose the weight don't say you can't workout because noone can watch Cam. You CAN workout, do it after he goes to bed. If you feel your eating too much, stop. I know it sounds easy to say all this, but WE ARE OUR WORST ENEMIES.

Kylie and Ryan joke with me all the time about my big fat booty or stomach and it doesn't hurt my feelings. Why? Because it's true! There's no denying it for me. Sure I USED to do that, I used to deny it but I denied it because it was true, it hurt my feelings AND because it was easier to do than to make it NOT true.

I'm sitting here right now chowing on chocolate chip cookies that I should NOT be eating if I want to lose weight. I could make some excuse or just accept that I cheated. Accepting that I cheated will only help me decide I need to stop eating them and do something more constructive.

I spent my life listening to my dad tell me I'm fat when I really wasn't. It bothered me so badly because I wasn't. If he was to say it now it wouldn't hurt because I know it's true. I've only been able to come to this "place" because I've done a lot of soul searching. Sure it hurts my feelings when I look in the mirror and see the fat, but not because it's true but because it's frustrating that it doesn't come off by the snap of my fingers.

Anyways, I'm sorry they said it, but my point is if you don't think you are you can't let it bother you. If you think you are stop making excuses and do something about it (that's not meant to be harsh, really). Because you CAN do something if you want.

Kated replied: Oh, I am so sorry to hear that. I cant believe it. Kids can be very cruel.
Dont let it bother you . We all thinkthat you are beautifull and there is nothing wrong with you!

We will be here to support in in anything you choose to do. If you want to go to the gym go cause you want to not cause some one said mean things!

CAMSMOM1 replied:

Thank you both for saying that. That was exactly what I needed to hear. I don't need the sugar coating anymore, I need the truth. I need to know that I have to stop complaining, and decide what I'm going to do. Either accept my body, and learn to love it. Or admit I'm overweight, and do something about it. Either way, the complaining & excuses aren't doing me any good. Just wasting the time on the clock, and gaining more weight.
I'm not happy with my body. I know women who are the same size as me, and are happy with their looks. They love their curvy body, have great self esteem, and are beautiful, attractive women. But I'm not happy with my body, therefore I know it's time to throw my excuses out the window, and do something.
I'm so young, and I shouldn't allow myself to give up. I have so many years that I could be looking good & being fit.
And it's true, what the kids said to me hurt, because it was the absolute truth. The pointed out my "problem" areas, how much I snack through the day, and how I've gained a lot of weight this year. Yes, it was insensitive, but kids don't take into account the power of their words, they just say it like it is.
Again, thank you for your honesty. I know it was out of love, and you both said the exact things I've been thinking.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I am sorry they hurt your feelings! Whatever you decide to do try to "LOVE yourself" in the process! Skinny Anne will be the same person on the inside as Anne right now- Take a good look at you-the things you like and the things you don't-focus on the outside(your smile your thighs )<---sorry those are mine! and then move to the inside (your generosity your temper yes mine again! When you focus on your 'problem areas' they can overwelm you---Take some time to realize that a few pounds has NOT taken anything more than your figure!

MamaJAM replied:

ashtonsmama replied: ANN! You're making me so sad hun!

I'm so sorry they said all that...remember how harsh kids can be, and you are BEAUTIFUL RIGHT NOW! Don't forget that! Kids that age are just insecure and trying to fit in, they probably thought it would be the "cool thing" to do...

Know that WE love you for who you are now, regardless of whatever extra pounds you may feel like you're carrying...it doesn't matter! All of us are imperfect, and none of us will ever have the approval of everyone...so try not to stress hun!


YOU ARE PERFECT TO US.
Whatever imperfections you may see, will NEVER change the sweet person you are inside. I know this sounds corny, but it's ALL so true.

WE LOVE YOU!

MiniMommy replied: Ditto to all the above. Those cruel kids!

luvbug00 replied:

martzfam27 replied: Ann,

I am so sorry to hear that It hurts so much when people call you fat. I know how you feel. It ruins your whole day because you just keep thinking about what those cruel kids said! Its sad fact that society tells people that we have to look a certain way and that if we dont look that way it is unacceptable.

By looking at your pics you look like such a young and beautiful person.

Please cheer up. Its not easy trying to lose weight (Even though Im actually quite underweight right now) but I have tried and it is hard!! Don't put yourself down!!

CAMSMOM1 replied: That's why I love you guys so much, you are so sweet to me! Thanks for lifting my spirits, but I'm ready to get this weight off. So cheer me on, I'm done making excuses and ready to get things back in control.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Go, Girlie!!! You can do it.