Sassa-frassa-mumble-scrumble - MIL VENT

kit_kats_mom wrote: A little back story for those who may be new to my MIL battles. Just the facts.
1. I never thought I'd be one to dislike my own MIL
2. I went out of my way to take the girls up there this summer so she could see them since her DH wouldn't drive down
3. I tried my best to fit in or at the very least, not offend them but they made my week a living hell. In fact, they made it so uncomfortable for me that I'd rather stay home with Lauren and send my oldest DD there with my DH just so I don't have to deal with the in laws. I'll be missing my DD's first snow playtime but know what, for my sanity sake...I'm doing it.

there are loads of other things but this email just got me steamed today.

my DH just forwarded me this email. first his:
Hey Mom - we've been trying to figure out how to manage Christmas this year - its not been easy.
As you know, our plan was to come up to see you guys for Christmas.
Well, Cary has family coming from Guatemala and elsewhere into Tallahassee and she really needs to go see them. In fact, we all need to go see them. Of course, we all need to see you two also - a bit of a predicament eh?
So here's the plan we've come up with - The whole family will go to Tallahassee to visit her family for a few days before Christmas. We'll come back to our house for Christmas day. Katherine and I will fly up a day or two after Christmas and stay with you for a few days.
Alternatively, if you are interested in coming down here, I still have a free flight available for you to use.
Let me know what you think about all of this.

Her response (with my comments added):
Son, just to remind you, (does that sound snotty to anyone else?) I believe your plan was more like New Year's time, so I wasn't expecting you for Christmas. Cary had told me she thought her relatives would be here from afar. So does that change anything for you?
It would be great if you and Katherine came on up anytime. I know the ticket is still available, and I may try to come in March or ? I really don't like the idea, (I'd rather have you guys come see me so I can torture you on my own turf) but to see my little girls I will do it. (Oh, the guilt! THE GUILT!) Or if you can use the ticket to help come here with K.? Why are we so far apart? (because you married a crotchety old man who thinks florida is the "gods forsaken land & the devils armpit"...his words...not mine. when he dies, you can move closer)

I don't know exactly why this email ticked me off so much but OMG I'm steaming right now.

mom2my2cuties replied:

Sorry she is being a witch - maybe you guys can mail her a pointy hat as a halloween present and say "her little girls" picked it out. Which by the way - that phrase would just drive me insane anyway - my inlaws used to do that until I flipped out one day, pretending to be all excited and announced the whole family that Andrew was going to have a sister when his step mom said something along the lines of "looks like MY girl is doing just fine" - It put a QUICK stop to her saying that.

ETA - She would always refer to Andrea as "her girl" or "my girl" And I would always sit back thinking - I certianly do not recall you being the one in labor for 2 days!

kit_kats_mom replied:
thanks. yeah, maybe that's what got me...that and all of the other subtle (or not) barbs that she tossed in there. The hat thing got me giggling. thanks!

amynicole21 replied: Wow. She can sure turn on the guilt machine, can't she?

mom2my2cuties replied:
Glad that made you laugh....I would do something like that - make it seem totally innocent when YOU know exactly what you meant by it. I just have to be careful because I have had it backfire on me too

I don't think a lot of times our Mother In Laws have intentions of being PITA heads...but they are I just keep reminding myself that some day - my kids are going to be married and thier wife or husband are going to be talking about me this way

That being said - I don't really have a bad mother in law - either of them (step or actual) except the Step MIL does previously mentioned things and can't control her kids (7&8) and wonders why I don't let mine over much. And my husbands mom - LOVES to get under my skin by calling me Jennifer. (His ex girlfriends name from like 6 years ago)

jcc64 replied: After that debacle this summer- DO NOT GO BACK. Save your sanity. She sounds like a wackjob.
As far as the snow thing- that's why we live in the digital age. Tell Woody to take pictures. Snow's over-rated.
And as far as her personality disorder- that's why we live in the pharmaceutical age.

kit_kats_mom replied:
ROFLMBO

God you are funny. Love you!

FYI, my DH swears his mom doesn't have a mean bone in her body and it's just my "self critical-ness" reading between the lines. Uh, I don't think so. I asked him if he actually read the email.

mom2my2cuties replied: It's his mom - he has blinders on ....Remember - True love = true blindness. A lot of times we can't see the fault in or hurtful things those around us do because we do love them too much and are too close. And for fear of ruining that relationship, we tend to "not see it" as opposed to saying "Hey! This is not right - You can't speak to my family in such a manner."

CantWait replied: Ummmm hello, you have relatives coming from WAY out of town, that's why the plans have changed somewhat, and that's why everyone, INCLUDING her son has got to be there. How rude would that of him to leave when you have family coming down when you're always making the effort to see his family. I'd be a little ticked also. And why isn't it she can't come down, and he's got to fly with a young child???? Sounds like she expects everyone to inconvience themselves for her.

CantWait replied:
WOW I guess we're all mean don't let him read our comments.

Kaitlin'smom replied: ya after this summer, I would not go back. Nor would I send my child there. If she wanted to see my kid (or in your case kids) she can come to me. DH can fend for himself. The only parts of that e-mail that really bothered me was "my girls" and how if she had to she woudl if it ment seeing them. Me I say well lets see if your words holds true.

OMG I am so thankfull my MIL is not like this, I only get anoyed when they buy something for Kait I have no room for

jcc64 replied: Cary, fwiw, no one, and I mean, NO ONE can get in the ring with me when it comes to unbelievable, can-you-top-this inlaw stories. Suffice to say, I could get people arrested with the info I have.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: OMG!! I'm having flashbacks of the letters we used to get from Scotty's mom!

I totally sensed her snotty tone and guilt trips. That would make me furious!!

gr33n3y3z replied: dont go and dont bite for the guilt like all things she will get over it or she can come and see you on your TURF!!
After what she did to you when you went down there the last time it should be the last time.

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well I have the in law trouble too..and it took me a long time to NOT go..from my own guilt.. but I am so much happier now that I don't go. It just makes my life easier!

And I am selfish enough to be about me when it comes to HER>.lol