School teacher says she gives up... - On my Best friends child

lisar wrote: Okay heres the story. My best friend has a child who is 10 and she has been diagnosed ADHD. Well she was diagnosed 1 1/2 years ago. My best friend got a call from the teacher on Friday after noon and she told her that my She gives up on trying to help the child. That she can do what ever she wants the rest of the year that she has already failed anyways. I was in disbelief that a teacher would do that or that she could even have the balls to say that to the a mother. She said that all the kid does is sit there and do nothing anyways. Well I was p-o'd. My best friend took the day off work today and went to the school. She talked to the guidance counseler who said they could get into a program but it wouldnt start till May. Well guess what school gets out in the middle of May. So it would do no good. She has set an appt. to talk with the principal. I told her to call the school board and start going up the chain of command. If it was me I would have that teachers job before I was done. How come the teacher has not called her before now to talk about it. She doesnt make horrible grades. She passes all the test. She has a problem doing the class work. She does her homework and my best friend just found out that she hasnt turned in any of it in the past few months. But she does do it cause my Best friend sits over her to make her do it. How come the teacher hasnt called or anything until now and then says that.

I was just wanting some opinions on this. And sorry if it offends anyone.

cameragirl21 replied: i think unfortunately teachers don't get paid enough and as a result many are doing the bare minimum just to get by and hold on to their jobs.
if the child is not turning in the work then the mother needs to be called by the third time or so it was not turned in IMO...teachers who have difficult students need to get these students' parents involved before it's too late.
oh yeah, i'd go after that teacher because she has no right to give up on anyone, she has a very important job and like i said, she is not being paid enough BUT she has the option to find another line of work if that is her excuse.
i'd meet with the principal and/or the school board until something is done.
meanwhile, your best friend needs to figure out why her child isn't turning in the work that is clearly being done, there may be underlying issues/factors going on here.

lisar replied:
Its the ADHD. This child craves attention weather its good or BAD.. She gets plenty of attention its not that the Mom doesnt care or anything. The kid is the one who has to be center of attention at ALL times. It drives me insane most of the time. Most of the other kids dont want to play with her cause she likes to be the boss. See what I mean. She has to have that attention. Weather its good or bad. And if she isnt getting attention then she will do something bad just to be the center of attention again. It gets on my nerves so bad at times.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Is there something else to the story? I mean, has the mother been working with the child, making her take responsiblity, checking her work, etc? Just sounds kind of odd if it's just her classwork. Have they given her punishments for not doing it? Also, did the teacher say those exact words or is that just how the mom took it and exaggerated it? Not that I don't believe it, but I would think a teacher would know they would get in serious trouble if they blunty said "I give up on your child".

Calimama replied: I don't understand why the teacher is JUST NOW involving the parent. But it's not a one sided road. Doesn't the mother monitor the child's work? What about report cards? Surely she would have noticed if the child was failing? While I think it's horrible the teacher said that, I don't think the blame falls solely on her shoulders. As parents it's our job to get involved.

A little OT but when I was at school I'd see a lot of parents coming up and yelling at the teacher when their child failed.. yet when notes were sent home, phone calls were made, the parent did nothing.

redplaydoh replied: If that is what the teacher said, that is sad. No teacher should give up on a child. And I completely agree that the teacher should've involved the parents a long time ago.
Is there another class she can be switched to, just to have a different teacher?

Boo&BugsMom replied:
This is kind of what I was thinking. Half of school is already over...how can the parents not know something was wrong? I'm not saying the parent should not be upset, but I often have seen parents not want to take the responsiblity and blame the next in line...the teacher instead of owning up to something that they lacked in. I'm just leary of taking any one side in these kinds of situations because I've seen it all too often where each side wants to point fingers instead of working together as a team for the sake of the child.

gr33n3y3z replied:
That is such a load of B.S. and a sorry excuse
Then they shouldnt be teaching Period if they feel that way or better put her the teacher.
So sorry to hear that
See what colleges are giving us to give our children an education.
very sad

35 to 45,000. isnt to shabby to start

lisar replied:
Okay yes those were the teachers exact words. The teacher has not called the mother to tell her about her not doing anything in class. Which is the part that would make me mad. My best friend has been dealing with the guidance counsler and according to them everything was fine. The report cards are C's. And thats because she will pass the test and take them. But she wont do regular class work. My best friend is now dealing with a diffrent guidance counsler who seems to be more of a help than the other one. But we talked about it this afternoon and she is checking into getting a private school grant for her. More one on one teaching. I forgot to ask about the next meeting she has with everyone. I know she has a meeting with the counsler, teacher, and principal all at once I just dont know when I forgot to ask.

But what would you do if it was your child. See I try and keep myself out of it cause my friend knows how I feel. And she doesnt like my option so I keep my mouth shut and just listen to her. She is my best friend and we can have a disagreement but I will still be there to listen.

lisar replied:
I totally agree. I have asked many teachers about thier pay and they all say it isnt as bad as most people think. They get paid more than we think.

Paprikash replied: That is not only BS, it's totally illegal. If this child has ADHD then she's handicapped and she has a legal right to an education. The school district must write an IEP -- individualized education plan -- for her. Giving up on her is not an option. If this teacher cannot handle her, they must fund her education elsewhere -- in a private school if necessary. Waiting until May to educate her is not an option. I would call Legal Aid if necessary.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Where is there a law like that?

luvmykids replied: I think the whole thing is so sad, and I really hope the teacher hasn't made such comments directly to the child.

Paprikash replied: Where is there a law like that?

It's called The Education for All Handicapped Children Act, Public Law 94-142 -- it's a federal law.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I mean the part where the PS has to pay for a private school if they really can't do anything more than the best for the child within their capabilities.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Thanks for the clarification Lisa. That's good that she is looking into a private school grant for her. I wish we had a system like that here, but we don't. I'm not sure what I'd do if that were my child. Without being in the situation myself, that is. If this were my friend, I suppose I would probably end up playing devil's advocate in a way. Being a parent, and then being a teacher I can understand both sides. I guess I would have to find out every tiny detail before I take a stance on either side. I think she's wise to look into private schooling for her though. For her situation I think that will help her a lot, especially if her teacher now has to deal with a lot of students herself. I hope she can find a resolution to the situation. Also, I can understand being frustrated with the lack of communication. That's the most important thing a teacher-parent relationship needs.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I agree. I know many teachers, and their pay really isn't that bad, if not GREAT. Of course different areas depend on the salary. The average first year teacher here makes $35,000 to start. They also get GREAT health care coverage through the government usually. Subbing pays about $15 an hour. Not too shabby at all! I'd love to get paid that. Most people straight out of college don't even make that in most fields. If someone would like to argue about paying teachers a low salary, I'd look at what daycare teachers makes and THEN you'll see some pretty sad wages. Also, when teachers go to college they know they wont get paid an extremely healthy wage, they go into teaching because their heart is there. If someone has the opposite intentions, then they should reconsider another profession.