She will not eat! - So aggravating!

natjasem wrote: Today has been another bad day as far as Emma not eating. My poor DH has tried and tried to get her to eat with not much luck. How can she not be hungry???
I just know the ped is going to get on our case again when we go back in November- I know she hasn't gained much weight since the last visit. The only time she'll really eat is when I feed her and DH distracts her with toys. She opens her mouth without realizing it. Why does this have to be such a struggle? I would think feeding a baby would be so easy, but it's been the only struggle we've had since Emma's been born. We're SO
tired of it! I just needed to vent. I need sanity!

MommyToAshley replied: How old is Emma again? Maybe she has just hit that age where she doesn't want much to eat and has slowed down on eating/growing. I read that is normal. Ashley did that for only about two weeks but then went right back to normal. But, you are not alone. I know there are some other Moms on here struggling with the same thing. I think it is just a phase.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I agree with MommyToAshley. You may have seen me post that my child does not eat. She never has. She is 3. About once a week she will eat a good meal and it is random on what it is...in other words, she doesn't have a favorite. Other than that she snacks on fruit, cheese, crackers and drinks milk. I know it isn't the healthiest, but it keeps some weight on her. She was always a chunky baby, but the weight starting dropping after she turned a year and when she got some height on her. She isn't unusually thin, but she is the thinnest in her preschool class and she is the only one in there who isn't dying to eat lunch everyday. Her ped told me that she will eat when she is hungry and will not starve herself. I know that doesn't help you much as you sound very frustrated, but in all reality we really eat way more than needed and I think it is natural for us to assume our children 'need' more food than they really do. Unless your daughter is in the danger zone of weight (which would take a lot) I don't think your ped will say much. She will probably just tell you to watch her and get her to drink some carnation or something to healthily gain some weight.

HTH!

Daddy of Schnoogly replied: Oh my gosh. You just described Iain perfectly. It drives us nuts. The only way he'll eat is if I play with him and get him to laugh, and then his mom crams the food in. And lately, he's started being all melodramatic and making faces and noises like he's been poisoned or something! That part might actually be cute if it weren't so aggravating.

ediep replied: That is the exact way that Jason ate. We had to distract him with toys and then cram the spoon in. It would take us close to an hour to get 1 jar down. When he turned 10 months, he completely refused all baby food. I was frantic that he would be starving. His ped just said, If he doesn't want baby food, don't give it to him.

I tried regular foods instead and eventually, I found table foods that he would eat. At first it was hard because I had to trust that he would stop when he was full. Now he is 13 months and eats all table foods and he feed himself for every meal and snacks.

Good luck, but try not to stress too much over this. With your ped OK, maybe try more table foods

kit_kats_mom replied: I feel your pain. It's just so hard to believe that these kids won't eat when we enjoy food so much. I'm doing alot of reading on this subject right now and I actually will be meeting with a nutritionist tomorrow morning to discuss this. My 2 biggest worries are that 1. is my dd anorexic? I know that she isn't really but it sure seems that way sometimes. Anorexia is a disease that stems from control and I think that control and stubborness are at the heart of our eating problems. 2. Will I lose my mind one day after preparing the 5th meal for her (which of course she won't eat) and create some sort of long lasting food problem? Food and eating are tied so much to emotions that I find it hard to distingush when I should push it for her own good and when I should just let her win.

One thing I just finished reading was that it is not YOU they are rejecting. I know from experience how hard it can be to realize that when you have just made a meal specifically for them and they might lick a piece and toss it on the floor. It is maddening.

The AAP :sample one day menu for a one year old is:
breakfast:
1/52 c iron fortified breakfast cereal or 1 egg
1/4 c milk
1/2 c juice
1/2 banana r 2-3 strawberries
snack:
1 slice of toast or wheat muffin
1-2 T cream cheese or Peanut butter
1C whole milk
lunch
1/2 tuna/egg salad/peanut butter or cold cut sandwich
1/2 c cooked green veggies
1/2 c juice
Snack
1-2 oz cubed cheese or 2-3 T dates
1C milk
Dinner
2-3 oz cooked meat
1/2 c yellow or orange veggies
1/2 c pasta rice or potato
1/2 c milk

Im lucky if K eats one meals worth of this menu each day.

I'll post tomorrow if I get any useful info.

Good luck and I'm so sorry you are having to go through this too. A video does help sometimes. It distracts her enough for me to get a couple of spoonfuls in before she notices what I'm doing. I also give her one spoon or fork to feed herself and thenI try to shovel in bites in between.

kit_kats_mom replied: Are you nursing? If so, I'll post some other info that I'm going to ask the nutritionist about tomorrow. A study was done in Liberia on malnourished infants less than 6 mos old. Nursing moms were given supplimental milk to feed to the infants via a nursing supplimenter. Basically a bag of fortified milk with a small tube that you slip into the corner of the babies mouth while they are nursing. The babies all gained.

Since K is still nursing alot, I'm going to ask if this may be an option for us.

The site describing the study is http://www.ennonline.net/fex/09/rs7.html

MomofTay&Sam replied: I also feel your pain! My oldest baby(11 yrs) ate NOTHING! To this day he eats rabbit food, no meat strict veggie by his own choice. At 6 months he wouldnt touch any baby food. I had to get creative. Find a favorite movie they like and only play it during dinner time, I know movies and dinner not good but you have to do something. It gets to be a routine, the movie/show and dinner. Believe me it works. I am not sure how old your baby is but the infant feeders worked great too, I could fill them full of fruit and he would suck them down. My 11 month old will not eat his dinner at all if he is distracted. Geez I hope I helped somewhat...

natjasem replied: Thanks for the replies. Emma will be a year old in 2 weeks and I'm sure she's not much more than 16.5lbs.
In response, to Kit Kat's Mom's question, no I don't breastfeed anymore. We pretty much use cereal with butter, whipping cream, anything fattening to feed her.
I wouldn't worry so much about it if the doctor's would stay off our case, but they're the ones that get us worried that something is wrong. Thanks for replying to me- it helps to know that others have struggled too.
It's so amazing how much we love these sweet babies!

Schnoogly replied: On the nursing supplementer--I would say that if she will drink anything in a cup or bottle you should go with that. The tube is a royal PITA because it keeps slipping off and it is so small that it takes forever to get any liquid in them. Unless they have one for older babies/toddlers? The newborn one medela makes (SNS) is a pain to clean too!

Just my .02--we had to use one when I was first BFing Iain. Gave up after about a week and stuck with the bottle.

Also I can't believe that AAP thing!!! I am lucky if Iain eats 4 bites of peaches per day. No table food--gags and won't even put it in his mouth. We try distracting him but he only lasts so long in the highchair. I'd try videos but he doesn't even pay attention to the TV for very long either.

I am also worried because my brother was like this--refused all food--and it was the major battle of my childhood and just made our family miserable. We had to bring special food to restaurants even when he was 12 and forget family dinners. Food was a huge battle in our house and my mom usually just gave in because she was a single mom and it was easier than listening to his tantrums. He literally only ate peanut butter and honey on a tortilla (in front of the TV) from the age of 2-12. I really don't want Iain to be like that. Even now my brother has a very bad diet and is overweight because all he ate after age 12 was hamburgers and pizza, would never touch a vegetable. I know Iain is younger than your kids but I don't expect anything to change in the next month and a half!!

~CrazieMama~ replied: I have a picky eater as well. Brianna gets about one good meal a week or so in. She is a skinny baby. But she is otherwise healthy. At 1 year, Brianna was only 18lbs 11 oz. I am sure your baby is fine. If she is active, that could be another thing that could cause her not to eat. Very active babies don't want to sit and eat, they want to go and go and go. It is just a patience thing with picky babies, that's all. Let us know on her 1 year check-up how she is.

Guest_kit_kats_mom replied:
I'm sure that youvehad him checked for reflux. Our ped has not checked K for it but she decided to try her on zantac for a month to see if maybe eating solids just made her uncomfortable. It seems to have made a little bit of a difference.

MomToJade&Jordan replied: I remember having to feed Jade while she was playing with a toy. It was the only way I could get her to eat. I know how frustrating it can be. My daughter is still a picky eater, but I have stopped fighting her on it. She won't even sit in her highchair anymore. So I give her foods on the coffee table. She doesn't even come close to eating as much as that APR thing says she must eat. She is getting what she needs though and weighs in about 20 lbs at 14 months. She has never been a chunky baby, but she is tall so I know that she's growing. I hope that it starts to get better for you soon.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Zach gets no liquids for about an hour before dinner.... and he sits in his high chair while we eat dinner. He has food on a plastic plate on his tray...and whether he eats it or not, he sits in his high chair until we are done. If he's really hungry, he'll eat no problem. Like a bird - mouth open and ready for the next bite before I can grab it with my fork.

I know it's not particularly great for kids to have a lot of sodium..... but I've noticed he'll eat way better if I mix a little soya sauce with the food. Or if I sprinkle some chicken seasoning over the food.... or even plain salt. He'll eat more. So I do it...and I make sure he gets plenty of water to compensate. He really likes ketchup too....so if he's not eating something, I'll try putting some ketchup on it, and usually he'll eat at least some of it.

What I've noticed also helps is that if it's cut up on his tray, he'll eat it better than if I feed it to him. He's very independant....

But if he doesn't eat well (in my opinion) for dinner (or any other meal) we have an everlasting supply of cooked veggies, cut up fruit, some cheese, and some cooked chicken cubes that we leave in small containers on the living room coffee table (goes in the fridge when not in use of course).

That way, if he's hungry, he can go feed himself, and doesn't have to wait until we offer it.

What about cream? Has anyone asked their doctor about heavy cream? mixed with milk or BM?

Schnoogly replied: You know I've always suspected reflux but our ped doesn't really listen to me about this. She says just keep trying with the food and someday he'll start eating it. I am doubtful about this. His next appointment isn't until january (1 year checkup) and if he isn't eating by then I will be more pushy about it. I actually think it's a major control issue--he doesn't like anything in his mouth (you can imagine why--he's had enough stuff shoved into his mouth in his lifetime). He was just starting to eat some pureed stuff when he got really sick back in September and since then, nothing. He has gotten a LOT of meds since then, and I think he resents anything being put into his mouth. Also, I suspect a slight oral aversion anyway since he doesn't really put toys in his mouth either. I don't really worry about him choking on things because he never puts anything in his mouth! I have to give him jarred foods because I can't get table foods pureed smooth enough for him--any tiny chunks and he gags and spits them out. It's infuriating!!

kit_kats_mom replied:
Hmmm. I would mention this to your ped and ask if maybe you can try a round of the zantac to see if it makes any difference. Tell her that he chokes and gags on foods, even purees and that you'd really like to try it. there aren't any side effects for healthy babies but I'd double check with her since he's been ill in the past.

My ped will be checking K's anatomy next checkup to make sure that she doesn't have some sort of throat wierdness going on that makes eating solids uncomfortable.

K doesn't put anything in her mouth either. The occasional crayon but she isn't really an oral baby either. I think hers may be a control issue too.

Poor Iain...Katherine's "attitude twin"