Shopping for mom and baby

Bee_Kay wrote: Well, I couldn't wait any longer... I went out and bought a few things for my daughter and her baby.
I bought an infant car seat, Avent bottles (she doesn't want to breastfeed) and pacifiers and some newborn diapers. I also bought her some larger size undies (for later in her pregnancy) and some maternity tops.

I've been trying to call her today. Nobody answers the phone and my messages aren't returned agian.
She is supposed to spend the night here tomorrow night with my younger daughter. If she backs out, my daughter's heart will be broken. She has been looking forward to tomorrow night all week and she is so excited.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I am glad that you got bit by the shopping for a baby bug, for everyone's sake I hope she shows up tomorrow as promised.

kit_kats_mom replied: just curious why she wont try breastfeeding. it's free & easy. cant beat that when you are a youngster with limited funds

Bee_Kay replied: I asked her about that awhile ago.
Her only answer was something about her boobs in front of people. I explained that she could do it in private or be discreet.
I guess her mind was made up. But, yes I agree..... about the free, easy and limited funds.

luvmykids replied: I think the fact that you went and bought stuff will be a great way for her to see that you really do want to help. I hope she makes it over tomorrow night!

Edward's Mommy replied: I hope she makes it over too!! I'm sorry for the tough position she's put you in. You love her and want to help her. I wish my mom was like you. I secretly got married and then got pregnant. When I told her I was pregnant, the only two things she could tell me is "Having a baby will ruin your life." and "The smartest thing you could do is have an abortion." But even since I was a kid I want to be a mom and I'm dead-set against abortion. But my mom also reminds me a lot that she could have had an abortion with me. Now all she does is tell me what a bad mom I am.

Bee_Kay replied: OMG! I can't even imagine talking to my daughter in the way you just described. It made me sad to hear that...... I wish my daughter could somehow see the consequences of her choices and realize that we are only offering help to her and her baby, it's not about control at all (although we would encourage her to go to college).

I could never ask or encourage her to have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption. This is my future grandbaby for heaven sake. I do believe that adoption can be (and is) a beautiful thing, so I am not sure how I would react if she would have chosen that route.

The only thing we told my daughter about having a baby and her life, is that it will make her life alot more difficult and she will now have ALOT more reponsibilities in life rather than focusing on just her and her BF.

She still hasn't called back and I left messages on the home phone and cellphone.

Edward's Mommy replied:
I love my baby and I love being a mom more than anything. But I couldn't agree more with that statement. My dad told me "Once you have kids, you never get a real good nights sleep. Not just because they keep you up with them but because you worry about them and their futures! " My dad was so right! And the love I feel for my son makes me want to hug my dad because I know he loves me just as much!! More than I realized until I had my baby!

Bee_Kay replied: Well, it sound like you are a lovely mommy! ** and your little guy is adorable **!!!

I want to clarify something I wrote:
I wrote that I didn't know how I would react if she had chosen the route of adoption.

What I meant was, I know I would react with tears and I would talk to her about it, but I would also let her know that she had the option of raising that baby here at home. Here, where starting out life with a baby wouldn't be so scary, but the ultimate decision would be hers.

My husband stays fairly quiet about it. He isn't angry, he is worried. He just told me today that he is worried about the baby already. About what kind of life they will provide.
He is a firm believer in people sometimes needing to learn lessons in life, but he'll be damned if he will let them drag that baby down with them (that is, if they continue on the road they are on and if they dont smarten up a bit).

mummy2girls replied:
my sister told me i sghould get an abortion when i was preggo with jenna because she didnt think i could handle it as a single... 3 years later im still doing good and im not complaining. And she has never really took the time to be an aunt to jenna as jenna is scared of her

luvmykids replied:
ITA with you and your hubby on that one, I've learned a lot of lessons in life that I couldn't get by "learning from others mistakes", but I didn't have a baby to care for either. I guess at this point you do whatever you can to help for the baby's sake while allowing her to stumble for herself, if that makes any sense. The child definitely has to come first (as you know) but your daughter is going to have to learn some tough lessons when it comes to herself. I can't imagine how torn up you must feel, I think I would be beside myself. I admire you for your patience with her and the fact that you're trying so hard to just be there for her, in spite of how difficult she's making it for you.

Bee_Kay replied:

Grrrr.... some people don't know how lucky they are!!!

I am STILL not an aunt and I've always wished to be one (I would have spoiled my neices and nephews rotten)!!!

My DH sister is 36 years old and, as far as I know, has no plans on every having children.
My sister will be 32 soon, and she just found out (after never being pregnant) that she has blocked fallopian tubes. She will have the surgery, but if they determine that it cannot be corrected, the doctor suggested a tubal ligation (because the blocked fallopian tubes cause her so many problems).

Bee_Kay replied:

Oh I do run out of patience all right. I get p*ssed and angry and sometimes I want to just scream at her. But, I know that will only push her farther away from us and closer to her BF and the farther she is away from us.... the farther that baby will be away from us also (possibly)?

Bee_Kay replied: After reading tons of information about teen pregnancy for the past few weeks..... I have yet to find one story where a pregnant teen daughter doesn't want help and support from her parents.
I can't believe that my daughter is the one exception in this world.

MamaJAM replied: Well - I think it's good that you're being as supportive as you can. Hopefully she'll come over tonight as planned.

Also -- don't push the breast-feeding thing....not every woman was 'made' to breastfeed. And formula-fed babies can be just as happy and healthy as breast-fed ones (my tots are prime examples).

Bee_Kay replied: Hopefully she will come over. Like I said, my younger daughter is so excited and looking forward to it.
My husband feels that the BF will "get tired of her" sooner or later and the responsibilities that come along with having a baby (but, who knows, he could surprise us all !!).

As far as breastfeeding. It was a one-time conversation, I asked her if she thought about breastfeeding, she said she didn't want to.

I bottlefed my children.
With my son, the youngest, I tried breastfeeding. It was a wonderful experience, but also a VERY painful one.
As much as I wanted to breasteed, the pain was unbearable. I would be feeding him and crying at the same time because of the pain (his suction ability was incredibly strong LOL).
So, my doctor suggested that I switch to bottles. So I did and he was a happy healthy baby

CosmetologyMommy replied: I was 19 when I got pregnant and I needed my mother more than anything. But she turned her back and that hurt. I wish my mom had been more accepting as you are. You are doing all you can. Keep it up and good luck!