Should I? - or shouldn't I

Adrienne522 wrote: Since I have become a new mother, I have been trying to make the right decisions. I want to do what is right for my son and also for myself. I really want to make sure that I can be the rock of this family. His father and I are in a relationship, but I do not what to depend on him. Don't get me wrong, Alfonso loves his son and will always be there for him, but will he be there for me? So...here is my question? Should I go back to school to take a pre licensing class to be a real estate agent? Right now, I am working for the County that I live in. I work in the Assessor's Office. I am a Level II Certified Assessor/Appraiser. In the future, I would love to run for a politcal position. I would love to run for either Assessor or Auditor. So I feel that any education that I can receive will be benefical. I am torn. I really want this, but I really want to be home with my son, but i know that Alfonso is here now, I cannot tell the future. Would it be selfish of me to take 2 nights a week and go and take this class even though in the future it can help with what I am trying to accomplish. HELP!!! Any advice??

mom2my2cuties replied: Please don't take this the wrong way - and if I am misunderstanding your post please tell me - to me it sounds like you are in a relationship that is either rocky or coming towards an end.

If you can't count on the father of your child, I honestly don't think you should be in that situation. Because if he isn't there for you - that is really setting a bad example for your son in how a husband is supposed to act. For several years, my parents stayed together just for my sister and I - and it really gave us bad examples of what families were supposed to be like. It has taken me years to overcome that mentality and actually have a happy home life.

I think if you want to further your education - then no matter what - you should. If the way it sounded and how I took it is correct - you will be in a better position to support yourself and your son should the relationship end.


ETA - And no it's not selfish - I would do it now while you have the additional help at home - it will be much harder if you are ever a single mom.

luvmykids replied: If you aren't sure about the future of your relationship, I would do it now while he's there to help you. It's tough to think of being gone two nights a week but it's a lot tougher when you're a single mom

Adrienne522 replied: What's funny is that we have a great relationship. We have the best time together. He loves Scott sooooo much. That is his best friend in the whole world. I have been thinking alot lately of my future. I am a very independant person. I do not always want to depend on someone. ME, not Scott. Alfonso and I are here for Scott. Alfonso is a wonderful man. He is so respectful, honest, a great friend, and partner. I just feel myself debating if I should take the time to devote to school and to my son and to my full time job. Maybe I am not making sense and now I regret posting this.

mom2my2cuties replied: No don't regret posting - I just misunderstood what you were saying and I apologize.


I think it sounds like you are caught between the spot of "Will I still be a good mom if I do this to further myself?" And I think the answer is YES you will be!

If you think about it 2 nights a week is really not a lot of time away and there are MANY MANY working moms on this board who are AMAZING moms - and there is absolutely nothing wrong with bettering youself.

I will tell you something one of my instructors told me once when I was having a hard time with leaving my daughter at home when I was in school.

She might miss you now for a few hours extra in the evenings - but when it is all said and done - not only is the time away benificial for her future - she will enjoy the extra money you will make later on. In the sense of - you can afford nice things for them - family vacations etc... Just something that made me stop and think.

cameragirl21 replied: Do not regret posting this; no one is judging you and we're glad you have a great relationship and a happy, healthy baby.
Bottom line is if you want to go back to school, you should do it. If you don't take care of yourself as a mom it becomes harder to take care of someone else.
I personally believe that any education, whether you put it to practical use or not is a great thing to have and never a waste of time.
It's good to be independent and consider every option because you never know what life may throw your way and it's always best to be as prepared for everything as possible.
It's certainly none of my business but I don't believe spending two evenings away from your son is a big deal as long as you otherwise have plenty of quality time with him.

redchief replied: Well, there's two ways of looking at this for the future. In the tax assessor's office you have a stabile job and benefits, though, if it's like most county payroll jobs, the money could be better. That job provides stability and you have opportunity to advance in the office. These are all positives. You also seem to like being involved politically, I'll return to that. You seem to have a good, desirable job and working toward that is a worthy goal.

You obviously like real estate. Getting your license would do no harm whether you stayed in your current job or decided a change was in order. Selling real estate is an independent, cut-throat business. It's very competetive and will take a lot of time. I don't know any successful real estate agents who put in an 8 hour day and go home, and I know a lot of successful real estate agents. Real estate is also a highly volatile market. The ups and downs can be killers on the budget. The up side is that you can make a lot of money in real estate. Many of the top earners in our area are in real estate.

What it boils down to is this, you can be successful in either job. You have to decide what you really want. You probably won't ever become a millionaire as an assessor, but the income can be comfortable and it's definitely rock solid employment. You can make a lot of money in real estate, but you have to cultivate your clients, protect your contacts, and be prepared to deal with them long after the sale. It takes strong people skills to be successful in real estate, but the financial success can be very rewarding.

Edit: Shoot, I said I'd return to politics. Ever notice that you don't see too many realtors getting elected? That's because most are not successful in politics... it gets in the way of business.

Adrienne522 replied: Thanks for the input. I really appreciate all of the advice. Again, this is the reason why I love this bored. Thanks for being helpful and supportive.

gr33n3y3z replied: I think you should do what is best for you

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Adrienne, I understand what you mean. You mean that you want to be prepared to be able to take care of yourself, should something ever happen that Alfonso is not able to take care of you and your son together.

I think that you should go to school. It will give you a small break, two nights a week, and you can never have too much knowledge, anyways. If it will make you feel financially independant, you should do it. Nothing wrong with feeling like you need to have things of your own, even if it's a diploma. You never know what can happen...

Good luck!

CantWait replied: 2 nights a week will not only be beneficial for your future (with or without your current s/o), but will do wonders for your sanity when you are at home.

Also I wanted to tell you, don't put to much pressure on yourself to be the "rock" for your family, doing this will mean a let down for yourself in the future, and puts pressure on yourself to be perfect and not reach out for help when "you" need it.

Best of luck in school.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Go where your heart is leading you to.

No, it would not be selfish in the least to go back and continue your education which in this case will lead to open doors elsewhere.

boyohboyohboy replied: Adrienne, two nights a week, is a little bit of time compared to the solid future you would be giving yourself.
Even if you ended up getting married, and having more kids, this is something that you could use when your children are all grown up.
and not only that, but would your BF be watching scott while you attend classes? That would be great bonding time for them, or even if its grandma, kids all love spending time with grandma.!

Bettering yourself is also a great way to show scott that you have self respect, and it will also allow him to want more for himself in the future.
I say go for it!

Before you know it, this time will pass, and you will have your education, and be living a great life!

I applaude you for even thinking about it!

AlexsPajamaMama replied:
I agree

siblingtooolivia replied: Take the class while the opportunity presents itself, you can't go back...you have the support now for your son so do it. Maybe later you would have to leave him with a sitter instead of his dad to do it so I say go for it.....