Smart

mckayleesmom wrote: Does anyone else feel like they pressure their baby to be really smart? I always sit down and try to read to Mckaylee and teach her things even though she probably thinks Im on crack. I buy videos that are suppose to make babies smarter. The other day i was telling dh that when she starts school I want progress assignment sheets brought home at the beginning of every week so I can know what she is doing and know that she is doing her homework. I also said that she will not be allowed to play after school until her homework is done. That isn't how I was raised. We did whatever we wanted. Out of 6 kids only 3 finished high school including me. Does anyone think Im being too strict? My dh thinks I am kind of. Im not saying I don't want her to be a kid. I just want her to do whats important first. Am I the only one like this?

amynicole21 replied: I find myself hoping Sophia will be an overachiever too. I'm trying to make sure I don't put too much pressure on her at school though. Easier said than done, but I have a little while yet to worry about it.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: A friend of mine once told me that I do things intentionally different than my parents did things. My parents let us do whatever we wanted and neither of them were disciplinarians. My mom was very unorganized when it came to keeping up with our homework, etc. There were 4 of us. I on the other hand am very organized when it comes to school. Maddie is 3 and started preschool last year at the ripe age of 2. It is full blown preschool where they learn lots of things (including Spanish) and are expected to be responsible and independent. It has helped her a lot and will help when the baby comes along, too. I stay on top of her to behave and talk to the teachers about things. I am the room mother of her class and when she gets to Elementary I will be up there atleast once a week to help the teachers, etc. I want them to know that I am very involved with my children. It is important to be that way (I think) b/c they have a lot more homework than we did as kids...even as early as 1st grade. I have always read to Maddie and made sure that if she watches TV that it is educational.

There is nothing wrong with doing things like this for your child. Not everyone will be this way and it doesn't mean their child is dumb...I needed a lot of 'pushing' when I was little. A lot of my friends were self learners. I would say, "Don't stop reading to your child" That is important. Progress reports just help you know what area your child needs to improve. You are doing the right thing. I don't think this is behavior of a parent wanting their child to be an over achiever, but instead instilling knowledge and responsibility. You are definetly not the only one like this. You are a good mom.

Guest replied: I don't expect her to be a straight A student or anything. I want to be that strict..If I teach her good enough and she is then great. I just want her to know how important education is. I myself was far from an A student even when I worked my fanny off. I just want her to exceed what I did if not more. But as long as I know she tried her best...KWIM?

coasterqueen replied: I am constantly freaked out as to whether I, DH and the sitter is teaching Kylie the things we are *supposed* to be teaching her. I'm always questioning that. In some ways I think I expect more out of her than I should, but I don't show pressure to her. I don't want her to feel like she is a failure if she doesn't achieve something I think she should.

I am constantly feeling like she is behind in ways. Just simple things like walking. She isn't walking much and I feel like she is behind BUT I know there is a huge range of when they can start walking, BUT you know, I worry and won't stop until she's 30!

mckayleesmom replied: That guest was me..

ediep replied: I plan on doing the same things with Jason.....I am a teacher, and I loved parents that were on top of their kids schoolwork. It helps so much, and the kids whose parents were in contact with me via email, phone, notes were usually smart and scored well on tests.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

That is great to know!! I think it is so true, too.

kit_kats_mom replied: That's so funny that you would post this today! We just spent a couple of hours learning colors today. I sorted all of her toys by color (green, yellow, blue, red and purple) and made big piles of each color. I went through each toy "yellow block, yellow ball, yellow cup...etc". Then we ran from pile to pile as I shouted out the color that we were standing by. She actually said Yellow! I'm sure it will be awhile before she knows her colors but I figured it isn't too early to start. We have also started verbally labling everything in our house and when we go out. We point out everything and give it a name. We are such dorks!

Schnoogly replied: Oh yeah, I agree. I think there is a lot you can do when they're young to help them develop academically. Especially reading to them. My mom read to me every day and my first words were the title of my favorite book "I am a bunny." I also learned how to read when I was three. And we couldn't do what we wanted until homework was done.

I wouldn't overdo it right now though--no need to do flash cards or anything. Encouraging creativity, fingerpainting etc. are just as important IMO. At Iain's daycare they do arts and crafts with the babies--it's really cute

MommyToAshley replied: I think it is important to be supportive and encourage learning, but at this age I try not to push. I give her the opportunity to learn... we read together, we talk about what's going on wherever we go, and we do puzzles and shapes sorters, and other games together. And, if she doesn't want to do something, I don't push. But, I also give her time to explore on her own and use her own imagination. I am always surprised at what she does and how much she knows. Sometimes, I wonder where she is learning all of this stuff from!!! I also try not to do things for her. A lot of times, she will see if she can get me to do it for her (like her shape sorter), but then if I say "you can do it", she sits down and figures it out for herself. And, she is so thrilled with herself when she does!

I figure when she is a little older, we will be more structured about her schedule... when she does homework and when she can play. But, we have time before we worry about that!

maestra replied: Ok, here's my as the resident Kindergarten teacher......

Relax! I am currently working on my master's, and one of the things we are talking about right now is the importance of play. It is so important to just let kids have the oportunity to play- with things, with people. They learn more than you could ever know just by playing!

These are the things we would like them to have when they enter kinder-
Know their colors (just the basics- not teal, fuscia , etc)
How to count to 10,
Some common shape names
How to sit and listen to a story.

That's it!

When Jaci gets to school, I think I will be the parent the teacher doesn't like because I won't make her do homework. I know that it actually isn't good for her until 3rd grade anyway, so I won't enforce it. However, we will be reading every night, doing projects together, playing, and creating things. It's the best that I can do for her.

I personally love it when parents are involved, but not at first. I need some time to get the kids aclimated to being without Mommy for awhile, then I like the parents to come back in. That and it takes me awhile to get a good schedule with the kids and an idea of where everyone is.

MomToMany replied: I don't *intentionally* push smarts on my kids, but I try to do everything I can to help them learn better. Logan has his trouble areas, and everyone (not teachers) say it's from having him so young (at 16), plus of the pre-eclampsia I had while PG with him. I know that's not true, and he doesn't have any "learning disabilities". School is just harder for him. Quentin is doing great in school, but he gets distracted easily which slows him down when he tries to get his work done.

I think reading is the best thing you can do with young kids. They learn so much from it. Ethan (3) knows his colors, can count to 20, and and has a really good imagination , which gets him carried away at times !

Hannah knows most of her body parts, knows what the moon is, and can understand lots of things (probably more than I give her credit for). We're working on colors now, since it's her favorite book at the moment.

I just follow the kids' lead; if they're interested in something, I try to give them as much info on the subject as I can so they can learn as much as possible. But I don't *push* them into learning something. Sometimes I'll suggest topics or ideas to see if they like it, and if they don't, I don't push it. I don't want them to hate learning or school; that's one of my biggest fears. I try to make learning as fun as possible for all my kids, that way they won't get bored with it, and it's always fun and exciting.

Heather replied: I dont think I am going to "push" it onto Ali...I think that will only make her more defiant and resent school and school work. BUT, I will sit down with her and make sure she understands what she is learning. I want to be part of it...and I think that will only reinforce it on her. I am excited for her to learn new things, but I really don't force it on her. Even when we read books, we analyze the pictures more than read them. I tell her the colors of things and shapes of the objects. We will get to the words later...because just by describing the pictures she is learning about language...and besides she will have the stories memorized...not exciting at all Right now, she says Blue, Red and purple and can identify a circle. That is just by repetition in reading a fun book!! If you make learning fun, gauranteed your child will be so much more compliant in school (work). That is my anyway!!! I loved school so I am hoping Alison likes it too!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Here's my 2 cent Story Book....

I was raised strictly schoolwise...always had to do homework as soon as I got home from school, no playing at all. Any tv that I would watch had to be educational... I still wasn't watching much more than sesame street at 7 years old. My parents stuck me in every course they could - I took ballet, gymnastics, piano, singing drawing, violin, tap/jazz, and karate. I did NOT have a life, and I feel I missed out on my childhood. But I had straight A's.

As I got older, I started getting less and less interested in school, simply because my parents had already made me learn all the stuff... so I was always bored in class - it was all repetition!!! By the time I was 16... I was cutting class...lying about homework... forging sick notes to get out of entire days... it was awful. I finished high school at 17. I had skipped kindergarden because I already knew how to read.... so I was a year younger than everyone else. Plus I'm born at the end of the year, making me an EXTRA year younger than everyone else....it was AWFUL.

So now, with Zach, we buy him educational stuff... and we do kinda push it...but gently. If he wants to play with his alphabet magnets or alphabet foam puzzle pieces...we play with them, and we sing the song, and we show the letter, sometimes he repeats the sound we make. He knows what an "A" is, because when we say "A" he grabs his "a" magnet and/or his "a" foam piece. But when he doesn't want to play with them anymore... we don't. He can sit on the floor and roll a ball...knows the difference to roll the ball inside the house, and he can throw it outside the house.

He knows different fruits...apple, banana and orange. He can pick out a picture of them, or the real thing. He knows the color red.

We play with letters and numbers and colors...but when he's done, he's done... we move on to something else. If he doesn't want to play, it's because he's bored with it, right? We only take out a few toys at a time, so less distractions... so we don't force him. We don't want him to get bored too early!

We read to him every night. He knows his "routine" and sticks to it. The times may change, but it's always dinner, bath, book, bottle, bed. He's got quite a collection of little child books...some story, some with just pictures and what it is... he gets one, brings it to the couch, climbs on it, and waits for either me or DH to sit down and read it to him. It's SOOO adorable... times like that I wish we had a video camera....

He is also starting to know about bathroom stuff. Whenever he wants his diaper changed, he'll actually get a diaper from the basket we keep in the living room with all his stuff, and bring it to me or DH. Then he lies down on the ground, waiting to be changed! He's so smart.

He knows who everyone is... if I say where's Daddy...he looks for Daddy. Grandma...he looks for grandma! He knows the names of his daycare buddies...because if we say something like "blow a kiss to Ben" he goes next to Ben and blows him a kiss. Same with the other 2 kids, and the sitter and her husband... it's great!

We do encourage him a lot...but we never never force him. Even at night...if it happens that he doesn't want a book read, if he just wants to cuddle.... It's not like I'm going to deny my child some cuddles for the sake of making sure to read everynight! KWIM?

I'm also planning on wanting reports from school on how he's doing... but more or less to make sure he's doing everything he should be doing. If he has a problem area... I'd like to incorporate that into play at home. you know? If he has problems sharing, I'll arrange to make more play dates, in order for him to learn better....not chastise him and punish him for not sharing.

He'll do great in school, hopefully, and I'm going to do my best to help hm through it...but I won't take his hand and do his homework for him... he DOES have to learn, too....

We'll see....there's another whole year before he goes into preschool! And besides...he only need to know how to count to 10, some colors, and his alphabet song. So what if he knows more?