So it begins - custody battle

MyBabeMaddie wrote: I haven't posted about this yet because I have been so busy with school and now the fire but Adam served me with custody papers last week.

I saw a lawyer on Tuesday who offered advice and whatnot to start the process.

Tomorrow monring (like 6 hours from now) I have to attend mandatory parenting classes (Adam will be there also) along with many other families from Pittsburgh.

Adam has not seen Madison for about 2 months now (Minus when he came to my front door to serve me with the papers) - He knocked on my door, I answered but only stuck my head out the front door becaues I didn't want my dogs to get out and attack him... He proceeded to push me aside and walked into my house right into my bedroom where Madison was sitting reading her books. No one was home or else I would have screamed for help. He picked Maddie up and started bawling saying he was going to get her in the end - he got her all worked up because he was bawling. After I said I was going to call the cops if he didn't leave he walked out the door.

After "parenting" class tomorrow we have a mediation scheduled for May 19. I don't know what makes him think he is going to get custody of her - My lawyer is going to help me fight for a drug and alcohol evaluation, hair follicle drug testing and mandatory rehab classes which he will hopefully have to pay for (which will hopefully slow the process down) The longer it takes the better considering I don't think he will be able to stay clean for long.

This just stinks because I have enough on my plate right now.

Anyways please wish me luck or something because this is going to be a long torturous process which I am not looking forward to.

PrairieMom replied:
Have you been keeping track of all the things that he has done so you can use that against him?

my2monkeyboys replied: I can only imagine how tough custody battles can be. I'd definitely be keeping a record of all the crazy/inappropriate things he's done, too.
Good luck - I hope it all gets taken care of quickly.

gr33n3y3z replied: Good luck hun KUP

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I'm sorry you are going through all of this! But it sounds like your lawyer gave you some really good advice! I'll be thinking of you! Sending lots and lots of hugs your way!

boyohboyohboy replied: I just wanted to offer I cant imagine how strong you are going to have to be right now! but you can do it..

Calimama replied: Good luck hun.

msoulz replied:

Teesa®© replied:

And ITA with PrairieMom and Willsmama. Document EVERYTHING. Buy a special notepad and write down the dates/times of pick ups, what was said, every time he missed, phone calls, EVERYTHING.

If possible, tape your phone calls with him. You'll have to tell him that you're taping them [if he says anything incriminating, it won't be admissible in court unless he was told he's being taped], and if he doesn't like it, tough. By the sounds of thing so far, you need to do whatever it takes to protect yourself and your DD.

Despite what he does/says to you, stay polite as you can at ALL times - you don't want to give him anything to use against YOU.

Since he's done drugs, I'd look into denying him ALL over night visits and demand supervised access. This depends on what kind of drug use, how he abuses it and how he acts while on drugs. You'll know how "safe" he is, I'm just throwing stuff out there since you're demanding tests so obviously you have doubts.

I'd also suggest getting a chain lock on ALL your doors so he can't force his way inside YOUR home again. If possible, have a neighbour, friend, or an adult family member with you when he visits.

Maybe he's just hurting and willing to do pretty much anything and he's just not thinking too clearly - or not thinking first before acting - but that forceful entry scared me. Maybe he was feeling a little desperate, and didn't think that he would be scaring you in his actions, I don't know.

Good luck with everything and I hope it all works out for you

Sam & Abby's Mom replied: omg - that's horrible. I was wondering why he hasnt seen her in 2 months and now all of a sudden he wants custody?
Good luck, hun! Like Teesa suggested -- keep your cool at all times so he cant use that against you. Keep us posted, too!

jem0622 replied: I'm sorry that you are going through all of this. Lots of HUGS and GL.

Cece00 replied:
The phone recording thing isnt very good advice. In some states, even if you tell a person you are recording, its illegal.