Something really scary happened to me - has to do with Des's mom (long)

My2Beauties wrote: OK so the never ending saga continues.....as most of you may very well know Des's mom decided to go back to her abusive husband about 2 1/2 months ago. Des mainly stays with us. A couple weeks back, her and I took the trip to Nashville together to watch Des perform in her competition, Brian couldn't make it because he was a groomsman in a wedding that weekend. Anyways, we had a serious talk about some things. A lot of stuff she has done has sort of ticked Brian and I off but she also told me a lot of things that sort of make me feel bad for her, it all has to do with him (the husband)...of course. She went on to tell me that he'd been acting really jealous again, not wanting her to do anything, crying all the time saying she was going to leave him, etc...and that it was good at first but she can see the pattern starting to form again and she wanted out.

Fast forward to this past Monday (the 7th of April). Her and her husband had a long talk (according to her) and they both basically said it was inevitable that they were not going to be together, she told him she cared about him but was no longer in love with him and she was going to save her money for a few weeks and get an apartment. He said fine the feeling were mutual. Since then he's had an attitude she said. Early last week all us girls decided to go out to dinner to O'Charley's on Friday night for a couple of hours as a girls night out, no bars no nothing. Just a nice dinner where we can all talk. She told him about this early on. He kept telling her that she was a horrible mom, she didn't care about her family, just her friends etc... She can't even see her friends for an hour a week without doing this to her (it's only her fault though, she went back to him ). So, Friday afternoon we all confirm we're going. Des was at my MIL's house and their little boy together was going to stay home with him (oh one thing I forgot to mention, she suspected he has been doing cocaine, she had been hearing rumors from people that he was buying it from someone and she noticed very strange behavior and him not sleeping a lot...this has to do with the story). She didn't go home after work, she paid some bills, got her and Des's nails done as she had planned, dropped Des off at my MIL's and then proceeded to go home and had to change out of her work clothes to meet us,their son was with him. We were all supposed to meet at 9:00 and she said she'd be a tad bit late, 9:15 at the latest. So we're all sitting there waiting on her and 9:15 rolls around, she isn't there. We figured we'd give her a few more minutes since she had so much running to do. Around 9:20 we start to call her, no answer, no answer to texts neither. I said give her about 10-15 more minutes she could have left her phone at home and just be on her way. So we waited until around 9:30-9:35 or so, nothing. We kept calling and calling, no answer, nothing. So around 9:45 we called again, still nothing. We were all concerned, there were 3 of us girls: her sister, me and another girl that was Staci's friend. So, we all decided to hop in my car and go down the main stretch of road she'd be on towards her house to make sure she wasn't in a wreck and if we didn't see her we were gonna go to her house to see if she even made it home to change her clothes. So we get down to her cross street, we've seen nothing, we turn into her subdivision and proceed to her house. We see her and her husband sitting there, her in the kitchen and him in the recliner (they have an open floor plan so the livingroom runs into the kitchen, they are basically right next to each other). We go to the door and he lets us in and we're like hey Staci is everything OK we were waiting on you for almost an hour and he goes she's tired. Her sister was like well you didn't answer your phone and Staci said I'm sorry, all the while you could tell tension was in the air, he couldn't even talk he was so drunk and his eyes were wired (he was hopped up on some stuff, I could even tell). She kept looking at us like please don't leave me here. He starts slurring his words saying I'll get up so y'all can talk. We walk over to Staci while he goes in the other room and she was like I have to get out of here tonight, I have to. I can't take it anymore, he is threatening me telling me if I go out to dinner with my friends he is taking my kid with him to the country where his parents live and he's drunk and high and I don't want him with him alone. So we're like let's wait until he goes to the bathroom or something and take the baby and leave (the baby is 5 by the way, we call him the baby still LOL) and she's like no sudden movements, she was like he will chase us and run us off the road if he has to. She was like I can see it in his eyes, something bad is going to happen. So we're all scared to death not knowing what to do. Then he comes into the kitchen to get another beer and he goes "you know when my friends come over my house they treat Staci with respect, they talk to her and say hi how's it going, since none of y'all can even speak to me, all y'all b****** get the f*** out of my house. So we all looked at each other like oh crap ya know here we go. So her sister calmly explains to him that we're sorry he feels that way that we were only concerned about Staci because we hadn't heard from her and for all we knew she was in a car accident or something, we were checking on her. She said my focus is on her, so he goes well there she is b**** focus on her and get the f*** out of my house. So the other girl starts backing off, she doesn't say a word. Staci was like they were just making sure I was ok and he goes what did y'all think I popped her in her mouth again huh? Well, let me tell ya that went right through me, I couldn't take anymore of his mouth so I spouted off "Yeah *&*(^( as a matter of fact the thought crossed my mind, you've done it before haven't ya?" He said no I haven't, I said yes ya have I saw the bruises on her, he goes no I pushed her, you saw fingerprints. I said well you know what it doesn't matter what I saw because regardless you don't put your hands on your wife period. We're screaming at each other by this point and he's in my face calling me every single name in the book, no man has ever in my life talked to me that way and as scared as I was, I kept giving him a taste of his own medicine. I was tired of him degrading women, I'm not the one ok. So after he threatens to call the cops on me for trespassing, I said you know I'll leave but I can't wait until my husband gets home from work tonight...so then he starts saying oh get Brian get Brian I'll beat him until he's dead....whatever...not on his best day I told him I was calling the cops on him because he scared me and I'm scared for Staci's safety. So her sister meanwhile is mouthing off at him too telling him he is a cokehead you know what and this and that. She said Staci if he so much as touches you, you call the police, so I screamed out I'm calling them anyways while I'm heading to the car. He slams the door in her sister's face. She is heading to the car and he opens up the door, throws a beer can at her head, misses, it splatters all over her and my car. So now she is running to the car, he opens it up again, throws this huge statue (about a foot tall) at my windshield, misses again and damages the crap out of my hood, headlight, and bumper, the statue goes into pieces everywhere. So her sister makes a mad dash for the passenger side, we back out of the driveway, all the while I'm on the phone with the dispatcher explaining all of this, he comes out again with this huge vase and hurls it towards my driver's side window, because I had backed out of the driveway and was heading down the stret in front of his house. I had to slam on the gas for it to barely miss me, it shatters everywhere. We're screaming bloody murder at this point because we don't know what he is going to do to Staci. Their baby was in there witnessing all of this. So the police take their sweet sweet time, they met us around the corner (took them 10 minutes to get there) and then stopped at Thornton's with us instead of going straight to the house. We kept begging them to hurry because he would leave and run like he always does. They lollygagged around, even went into the store to get a coke So, finally they left to go to the house, told us to stay put. Not even 5 minutes later they call my phone and tell us to come back to the house. We get there, of course the truck is gone and no one is answering the door. He was gone. We begged them to go in the house but they said they couldn't because there was no signs of struggle etc...we were afraid he had hurt her, left her in the house and took off with the baby. (We had no clue where Staci was). We gave them a description of the truck and we asked how long we had to wait before they could go into the house to see if she was in there, they said 5-6 hours I was PO'd

Meanwhile....we found out later he had left, grabbed Staci by the arm and the baby and pulled them into the truck, took them to his aunt's house down the way a little ways. He told her that she was gonna go to jail with him tonight because she was also in violation fo the DVO (Domestic Violence Order) and she told him she didn't care, she didn't want to be around him. She said I'll go to jail. So he left the baby there and went back to the house, only to find us and the cops sitting out there talking so he turned back around (he saw us from a cross street so we never saw him) and went back to his aunt's house.

So....fast forward about 30 minutes later, we all re-group at her sister's house. She contacts his mom (she remembers she has her # in her phone, they always bail him out of trouble and they think all of the stuff he does is staci's fault). She proceeded to tell us that he was ok and the baby was ok but he told her that he left Staci at home (which was a lie because he had actually told her he had Staci with him, he did call her) so she lied to us and told us we should have butted out and all would have been ok ) This gave us a reason to call the cops back and have them go in the house, we were told by his family member that she was there. So, we called them back and they told us to meet them in 10 minutes. We ride back past their house only to find the truck there and him standing in the doorway. (He had left the baby at his aunt's house again and took them back to the house because he wanted her to get locked up). meanwhile, Staci told us he said that he was going to burn her sister alive, light my house on fire, etc...he was going to fight the cops, act crazy to get locked up for a good reason, that he should have beat us all up....all kinds of crazy stuff, the dude is a looney ok! So, we meet the cops at Thornton's again, new cops at that, give them our statement all over and tell them the same thing, please hurry up and get there before he leaves again. So, they get a plan of action together. They get over there and he shuts the door in their faces, snorts at them like a pig and tells them nobody is home. So they have a 30 minute stand off with this guy ok. They call Staci's cell phone and she finally gets enough gall to answer it, he is yelling and screaming in the background, she tells them he is in there, physically she is ok, but they could tell he was going crazy, and they said if you don't open the door we're coming in ,we're breaking it down, so she said she hung up the phone and stepped away from the door because he wouldn't let her close to the door and she knew if she hung up they'd think he hung it up or something like that, so they bust down the door tackle him to the ground, he lands on his neck (she tells us all this, they had us parked at the corner of the street) and arrest him. They take her statement etc. They find cocaine in his pocket (that's how high he was, he had over 30 minutes to hide it and he kept it in his pocket). So he was charged with Violation of his DVO (which she could have been too, but they let her go), posession of cocaine, and unlawful imprisonment, all 3 of which are pretty bad felonies. He is a persistent felon too, he has already served 18 months in prison before (Yeah nice catch huh?) so hopefully this time he'll get a nice 3-5 maybe more we're hoping.

So now, I have to go downtown and file criminal charges on him for damaging my vehicle and her sister and I have to get an EPO out on him because he threatened us both (lighting her on fire and burning my house down). Wonderful!

My DH is so mad, I'm sort of glad he's in jail because no telling what Brian would do to him. Hindsight is so 20/20, I would have never went over there, but if we hadn't no telling what he would've done to her that night, I hate to think

So....she went over there with 2 trucks yesterday, got everything out of the house that was hers (last time she only got some clothes and stuff)...this time she got tons of stuff, she is storing it in our basement. Brian got on her and told her if she went back, he was taking her to court for custody of Desiree and wiping his hands clean of her. I'm proud of him, she has put us through a lot. I was so close to her so I knew it was out of her character. Love is blind I guess, hopefully she has learned her lesson. I think she finally realizes the severity of this situation, unfortunately, I feel like I am in the middle of it now and he has some sort of vendetta (sp?) out against me now. Which is the reason I am getting an EPO out on him. He had court this morning and they held it over for arraignment court to find out what his plea is and whether or not to set a bond or make him stay in jail. Please say some prayers that they make him stay in jail, I am literally worried about his threats. In my mind, I doubt he'll do it, but if he gets out, takes drugs again, gets hopped up again really bad like he was then no telling what he might do. They found a large amount of coke on him. His parents will do everything in their power to ensure he gets out if they set a bail bond on him, they are loaded and have hundreds of acres of land and a huge house to put up, and believe me they will do it. I have to go this week to get some estimates on the damage to my car before I can file the criminal complaint, but I can go take the EPO out whenever, I plan on doing it tomorrow on my lunch, but if I find out he gets out today then I may go tonight to take it out on him This isn't fair that I have to be scared of him now

mckayleesmom replied: OMG..girl....Im scared for you.


I hope they put his sorry tush in jail for a long time. How did she meet this great catch?

HuskerMom replied: How scary! I'm glad she got everything out, and hopefully she'll stay away from him for good!

My2Beauties replied:
They have known each other since Elementary school, they went to school together, but he moved away. Moved back here years ago and he saw her where she worked one day and got her #. He was a good guy until about a year after their son was born, then she said he just changed. She used to swoon over how good he treated her and then he just did a total 180. Now that I think about it, he's probably been on drugs that long

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Holy smokes girl!

Glad you're safe though.....

luvmykids replied: WOW, I'm so glad it wasn't worse, for any of you

The best thing you can do for her, as a friend and her being Des's mom is to get HER some help. It's very hard for abused women to break the cycle, whether it's with this freak or another one. I feel bad for her in some ways, it's not as simple as your average break up and it's frustrating for you guys but she is going to need a lot of support.

I hope that idiot gets locked up, for everyones sake

Kaitlin'smom replied: I am so sorry hun I am scared for you, I am in Ohio as you know dont ever hesitiate to come here.

stella6979 replied: Wow, how scary. I'm so glad everyone is safe and I sure hope they keep him locked up for a long time. And I hate to say this, but if they do let him out, make sure you and everyone else involved is always on their toes and on the look out. EPO's are great, but if someone wants to hurt someone bad enough, they aren't going to let a piece of paper stop them.

jcc64 replied: Wow, Lea Ann, that's some saga! I'm so sorry for all of you, but particularly, Des. It sounds like her mom has horribly low self esteem and very poor judgment. I think Brina did right to threaten her about custody. The last thing Des needs is to be in the middle of all of that dysfunction.
I think you'll be ok. With bullies like that, they usually prefer to victimize people who don't stand up to them, which clearly is not the case with you. All in all, just keep an eye on your surroundings. Big hugs, girl, that sounds like a crazy night!

MyBabeMaddie replied: Wow! I'm so glad you are okay! I hope she is definitely done with that loser for good! I hope she desides to get some help not only for her but her kids too. He deserves to rot in jail.

A&A'smommy replied: OH goodness what a mess!!! I hope she stays away from him this time, and I'm sending LOTS of prayers that he stays in jail!!!!

MomToJade&Jordan replied:
Cocaine can really mess a person up. It can alter a person in some serious ways. I am glad that you all were unharmed. I'm scared for you as well. Hopefully they will put him behing bars, which is where he belongs.

Teesa®© replied:
I'd say they'll change their tune pretty darned quick because it's obvious he'll break the bail bond and whatever they do put up is GONE. He's not going to stop, he'll try to contact her and do his darnedest to "win" her back. Honestly, I'd love to see his parents faces when they lose their house

They may think that it was all her fault, but now the police can back up her claim. They can't honestly say their little pretty boy is perfect anymore.

We're all here for you AND your sister

I was in a horribly abusive relationship many years ago. It's so easy to get into and is so tough to get back out of. So I've totally BTDT and I never considered myself a "victim", I'm a Survivor and I'm so totally here if she or you ever want to chat. I meant that!!

And that goes for anyone else, too!

Oh, she needs to get custody for her little guy and do it now... especially with everything going on right now. Even if he tries to fight it, the whole incident/s are fresh in everyone's minds, so this is the perfect time.

gr33n3y3z replied:
just watch your back but guess what he isnt after you bc you stood up to him and didnt cower before him
He likes weak woman,defencless,clueless type bc he gets off on it

I hope she stays away from him this time but something tells me she wont
I will say prayers that she learned her lesson I hope everything works out so much better this time around

Boys r us replied: Oh God LeaAnn! I'm sorry that you're now in the middle..but I think this all happened for a reason, ya know...if you all hadn't gone over..there is no telling what he would have done to her. Given that she's Desiree's mom..you have to do what you can to help her! I'm glad she had you girls looking out for her!
I hope she has learned her lesson!

lisar replied: I am glad he is in jail. And hopefully he will be there for a LONG time. Glad everyone is safe

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Oh gosh, LeaAnn!!! I'm so glad all of you are okay. What a scary situation to be in. ITA with Lisa and Jeanne. I highly doubt he will come looking for you. He was high and full of talk. I hope he's behind bars for a long time.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I'm so sorry you had to go through this! I think you had ever reason to be affraid for your friend. I'm glad he got locked up and that your friend is okay for now. I'm praying that they keep him in jail. Be strong and know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and everyone involved!

MoonMama replied: I'm so glad you are ok, that is so scary. I hope she is done with him for good and that he gets some serious jail time! Be careful, you guys are in my thoughts and prayers.

redchief replied: His parents blame it on Staci, because otherwise they'd have to see the fact that they're the biggest reason their son is a snot-bag criminal. You're doing all of the right things, so I don't have any new advice, just

:.Mrs_Mommy.: replied:

I am so sorry you went through that! He is a douchebag!!! He deserves time in jail...a long, long time!!

Sam & Abby's Mom replied: Holy $%^& !!!! That is some scary stuff. I hope you all stay safe and he either stays in jail or cleans up his act........ BIG TIME !

Jamison'smama replied: So sorry LeaAnn, that is scary, you are a really good friend to risk your safety for her. How are things now?