Spying on your kids - Views

boyohboyohboy wrote: Interesting news discussion today.
It was about whether as a parent you feel you have a right to spy on your children. They gave examples like, go thru their rooms, read journals, back packs, cell phones, computers...ect.

Or on the flip side does a child have the right to expect some degree of privacy?

luvbug00 replied: my privacy rule for EVERYONE in my house is the same.
Leave something out in the open, it's fair game.

leave an email open, FB page open, journal open, I dont care if it is online or paper leave it open and it's fair game.
Myas door is always open unless she is sleeping or changing.

otherwise you are a snooper snooperson..lol

I feel guilty about reading something that is shut and private, even myas song journal.

My2Beauties replied: Being that my kids are still young it's not really that big of a deal, as they get older if they give me reason I will snoop, otherwise, I'll leave it alone. I will be a tad different about FB, myspace whatever the case may be, I will snoop on that and have all passwords

mckayleesmom replied: Here is my logic. I'm responsible for my children till they turn 18. Its my job to keep them safe and if that requires me to snoop..so be it. If they give me a reason to snoop then I will.

MommyToAshley replied: Seeing that Ashley is only 8, I don't know what I think yet. I hated when my Mom snooped, but then again, it's important to know what's going on. Hopefully we will be able to communicate so I won't snoop, but this is coming from someone that doesnt' have a teen yet. Ugghh, I don't want to think about all this yet.

Danalana replied: I don't know for sure, but I figure I will snoop some. I do believe everyone has a right to a degree of privacy. But cell phones are usually paid for by mama and daddy and computer stuff belongs to them as well. My logic is that they are our responsibility, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure they aren't doing anything crazy. Now, I won't go snooping if I don't feel like there is a need to, unless something is left out for all to see. BUT I won't NOT snoop just because it might cross some boundary. Not sure if this makes sense.

Calimama replied:
I agree with Dana.

msoulz replied:
I agree with the logic, but I will state that I will snoop. I look at my son's phone often. His email drops onto Outlook just like mine.

If he actually gives me a reason to snoop I will do it more often.

He is the kind of kid who just won't talk much about what is going on so I will find out one way or another!

Danalana replied: Good point, Mary! It bothers me that so many people feel the need to be their kids' friend, instead of their parent. Not that it can't happen, but being their friend isn't the number one priority. Kids need and WANT boundaries.
As long as my kids don't lose the privacy privilege, they will have privacy. But I won't think twice about reading text messages or Facebook stuff. IMO, some kids have too much privacy.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I think the only thing I wouldn't feel comfortable doing would be reading their journals if they ever have them. Things like facebook and email and stuff in their rooms and backpacks I feel like as their parent I have every right to see.

MommyToAshley replied:
That's what I thought we were talking about, personal journals. I agree, IF she makes a facebook page, I will have full access.

coasterqueen replied: I don't know as of yet how I will be. I am trying very hard to teach my girls they can come to me and tell me anything. That I am here to tell all their private stuff if needed and don't keep things from me. Right now both my girls will tell me everything anyways. They don't do good at hiding things. We'll see as they get older.

Nina J replied: Well, looking in there rooms - yes. If I believe the outcome justifies snooping, then I would. However, I hope our personal communication and relationship doesn't deteriorate so much that I have to resort to this.

Journals were mentioned in the original post - I don't think I would read my child's journal unless I had very good justification to do so, e.g. if I thought they were self-harming or suicidal, and believed it would help me help them. Otherwise, no.

stella6979 replied:
I agree about the journals.
As for facebook, email, phone, etc......I will be snooping.

ZandersMama replied: i am shocked how many kids have cellphones, facebook accounts, ect and their parents don't go in and check them out. my best friends son is 13 and even i know the lockcodes for his facebook, cellphone and msn so when his mom is working i can check up on whats going on with him. most definitely i will be a nosy mom when my kids are older, if they dont want me checking their stuff they wont have it. It is my job. Journals or diaries though I wouldn't touch unless I suspected big trouble/.

A&A'smommy replied: If they are under the age of 18, it's not spying it's called taking care of your children. If it's in my house then I have the right to have full access, BUT I will only go through their stuff if they give me a reason to.
Computers will be in a general area and if I'm not home they will not have access, if I am they will and I will have passwords to any social network they are members of and email ect.. That's called protecting my children.
I really, REALLY hate to see children under the age of 14 on facebook, that bothers me badly. I promise you wont see my kids on facebook until they are 14 or maybe even not until they are 15.

PrairieMom replied:

Danalana replied: Oh, I wouldn't read personal journals either, unless I thought I really needed to.
And don't get me started on kids and Facebook. My nephew is 11 and he has had one for close to 2 years. He goes from "single" to "in a relationship" every week or so.
Whatever is the popular social network when my boys get older, I will have full access to it. I agree with Aimee...when they're under 18, it's called protecting your kids. There are all kinds of creeps out there.