Parenting Club - Parenting Advice, Parenting Message Boards, Baby Message Boards, Pregnancy Message Boards, TTC Messge Boards
Shop for Baby Items | Parenting & Family Blogs

Still in shock


ferocity302 wrote: Ok this may get me kicked off this board.

I see both sides........

Recently an incident with a member of this board happened and because she is a beloved member a rebuttle post was deleted.

although I believe her privacy was invaded, I have to stop and ask myself........... When I made posts offering MHO about someone who because of what she posted sounded like she was being abused and suggested she leave before it got worse, I was jumped on all over the place because I was told:

How dare I make statements or suggestions like that when I wasn't there to see or know the whole truth or what exactly happend.


And yet when a partner comes on this board to tell their side of a story...... we all throw up our arms and get mad?

So, let me ask you all this......... what side of the fence are you on?

Do we blindly give advice from one side of a story or do we allow the other party to state their side so we can help BOTH of the parties to get through a tough situation.

Do we put those down who give advice from only what is written here only to delete those posts that tell another side so that maybe a bigger picture can be seen?

I am not putting anyone down. What happened was not necessarily a good thing...... but doesn't it open some eyes to see that we all don't know what is going on in each other's lives and maybe we do judge a party that has no idea what is being posted about them on a PUBLIC website about issues that may be personal?

So, if your partner went on a website and posted things about you and griped about you.... how would you feel? What if what was posted was not necessarily what exactly happened or not everything that happend or not all details where included? How would that make you feel? How would you react?

I'm not taking sides....... I am asking from both sides to be looked at.

We are all outraged over something that yes..... in a way invaded privacy and confidentiality..... but if it happened to you then would the same thing be felt?

moped replied: Yes I see just what you are saying.............my only point was that this was the ONE thing that I enjoy doing after jack is in bed, I visit etc...............it is no different that talking with my freind and getting opinions.

I don't see what sites he goes to and don't really care.

We do not have a violent relationship at all and I didn't think he was checking up on me either - I was wrong.

We are going to have a long talk about this - and I guess I just htought this was a nice place for me to come and visit with what I consider my freinds

A&A'smommy replied: I'm a mod here and I was one of the ones that wanted it deleted I feel bad for both of them but instead of coming here and bashing us for giving her advice and saying things that should have been said to her instead of us. It was deleted because it should have never been posted here and we do not host arguments especially personal ones. I hope that made sense!

ferocity302 replied: It is jen.......and that was part of my point. This is a place for support.

I said yes your privacy was invaded........but this is a public forum anyone has the right to post in it.

If it were not a parenting board and just a mom's board then yes he would be wrong.

But if we are going to monitor what suggestions or advice is given then is this really a parenting board... or is it just another place where popularity rules and if we get to know each other on a daily basis and fall into the same patterns as everyone else so we are liked then we can make acceptions but if a new person comes in with new ideas they are totally shot down.


I was making a point that when I was told that I could not make outrageous suggestions for only the information given everyon jumped on the band wagon.

But if we do get a glimps of the other side everyone is outraged and making statements of invasion of privacy. This is not a private board.

I am not saying not come here for support. I am not saying that you don't have friends here. I saying.... it could happen to any of us so make sure what your putting on here is something you wouldn't mind your partner to see.

mammag replied: This is my take.....

How would you feel if you had a friend who you went to to talk about your problems in the relationship....granted from your side only.....and they were there to comfort you and advise you (knowing they only had one side of the story of course) and then your dh started calling your friends and saying "let me tell you my side of the story"..

I look at this board more as "friends" than professional advisors. I'm not expecting anyone to fix my relationships or make my house run smoothly, what have you.

Everyone is entitled to some privacy and a place or person to just vent to on occasion.

JMO....

ETA: As far as the post being deleted, we all know that arguments of this nature will not fly here. I remember the advice you gave that you are referring to. I don't think anyone "jumped all over you" we all gave our opinion, you gave yours. I don't think it had anything to do with a popularity contest.

MomToMany replied: It's a public forum, and anyone can read or respond to a post as long as they are registered.

But as long as your DH/DW/SO has access tot he same computer, s/he can see everything you have done or said. If you aren't comfortable with that, then don't post it!



Exactly!! If you don't want them to see it, find a private board or use the PM system!

moped replied: Ok - since i am the subject of this conversation:

I am not saying I care if he read what i posted, because these are the SAME things we talk about everyday - or try to. He read nothing that I haven't said to him a hundred times............this was MY place to go after Jack was in bed, that is my only point. I don't go to sites he has been and don't care

Sorry to start anything.................

drama wednesday

Mommy2BAK replied: Can we all just give it a rest? This is Jen's business and not that of everyone else's.

TLCDad replied: Just to add from administration:

I did not get a chance to read the post but I trust our mods and from my understanding the post attacked members of this website. Personal attacks to other members is strictly forbidden which would cause any post to be deleted and the account potentially suspended or banned. We do not allow attacks or drama like that here.

With that said, yes this is a public website and everyone is welcome here as long as they are not coming on here just to start arguments, spamming, etc...



ferocity302 replied: unfortunately because it was deleted nobody has the opportunity to really see what was written.

I did not see anything specific to anyone on this board. All statements were general in nature.

in locking this thread or deleting other posts.... then why not delete ALL threads and posts relating to this topic.

Be done with it.

mom2tripp replied: Thank you to the admins for taking it off, it hurt Jen and should have been removed. I think everyone that wants DRAMA should maybe start using another site bc this one if for sharing stories/ideas/etc not for defamation of character. I think some members on here like the excitement of drama and that's why they want to keep this going, for others like myself we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings because this is a safe place that we feel we can come and relax

Josie83 replied: This board prides itself on being able to discuss maters in a non-judgemental, supportive way. I don't see a problem with the threads being left open for people to discuss the matter, as it is something that has alerted and affected everyone. Its when people are making personal attacks and unnecesarily aggressive comments that threads get locked.

Please don't see this post as an attack on you, because it isn't. As one of the moderators that works hard to keep this board friendly and pleasant place to come to, I'm just trying clarify the situation to you. f you have a complaint about the way you feel that you or your posts have been dealt with, please feel free to PM any of the mods or indeed the administrators.

Thanks, Josie xx

TLCDad replied: It was obvious his only motives to joining here was to start trouble... I understand he may of came on to defend himself, but until I see otherwise I highly doubt he had any intention on being a productive member here... and attacking users of this board is forbidden... (evidently he attacked everyone and the website as a whole). He is more then welcome as a member here but to join in and not to just post argumental messages.

I did not get to read the post only from what the mods have told me, but like I said I do trust our mods and their decision in this matter.


TLCDad replied: Thanks Mom2Trip and Josie. I could of not said things better myself smile.gif

ferocity302 replied: I am not trying to start any arguments myself.

I was only pointing out another side. If the side isn't supported by the liked or the popular then it is "dealt with"

Yes, I agree and have not disagreed that his intentions were not to be troublesome.

My only point was..... it's a public forum, expect it.

I have a post that was very hurtful and offensive to me personally a while back, and it was a direct attack on my oppinion but I did not see any mods run to my rescue to delete it.

I am not the only one... there have been others who have had the majority not agree with what they say and yet those posts are left alone.

I am asking for balance and for fairness. If it's done for one member then it should be done for all. If nothing had been said in an open statement asking for people to forgive for starting something I don't think anyone would have noticed.

I think people would have been too uncomfortable to really make a statement and left it alone.

I am not in opposition but the issue is so heated that there are blinders on.

I support jen...... she has a right to be here and to voice her oppinion. Just as anyone else does.

I was only stating that censorship is one sided in some cases. SOME not ALL before I get misquoted again.

I am not stating that I am personally being attacked. I was just letting everyone know that it's bound to happen if you post in a public forum to get everyone's oppinions and views.

Drama no...... making my point yes..... to see all sides yes...... to ask the questions...... what if yes. It's only to make a mind think not to close. That one persons actions can affect so many others.

Josie83 replied: If you felt as though you were bing openly attacked, then I would say to you that you should have reorted it to a moderator. Its difficult to keep track of every single post when there are so many that come up each day, which is why you have to help us out as well, byt PMing us and making us aware of what's going on.

This group is mainly filled with open-minded, easy going people, many of whom have strong opinions and express these opinions without offense. Perhaps it is not simply what people say about issues, but the way that they say it.

This issue seems to have gone way of course. Noone or no thing is perfect, including this board and the people on it. The way it is run is not to everyone's tastes. If anyone feels that strongly about the ethics of a place, then my suggestion would be to consider whether or not it s the place for them. Again, this is not aimed at anyone in particular, it is a general statement.

Josie xx

gr33n3y3z replied: Well if you had a problem you should have went to a mod or an Admin.
Along with whom ever you speak of. Thats what they are there for.

I just think this whole matter should be done with The Mods delt with it and TLCDad replied to you. Its a done deal

jem0622 replied: Hey...what's everyone cooking up for dinner tonight? With 4 kids and tee ball things are gonna be crazy. Any suggestions? biggrin.gif

mom2tripp replied:
Thanks for changing the subject biggrin.gif I think I'll have chicken with some rice and some green beans

Boys r us replied: Mmmmmm Yummy I'm having Chick-fil-a!!!! We're going to the movies tonight, so we're grabbing something quick!

jem0622 replied:

I loooove the chicken strip salad with honey mustard dressing. Hmm...I might just have to indulge myself! biggrin.gif

Jamison'smama replied: DH just got called to play softball so I am having easy food tonight--that means Jama can have a hotdog and mom will eat anything she wants!

Jamielou replied: We are having Spagetti(cant spell) its one of the few things my little picky eater will eat... rolleyes.gif

mammag replied: I'm going with the chicken & rice tonight too. It's leg workout night so I need a hearty meal to recover!

TLCDad replied: Going to go ahead and close this topic again. But lets start the food thread... some of them sound very yummy and gives us ideas.


CommunityNewsResources | Entertainment | Link To Us |Terms of Use | Privacy PolicyAdvertising
©2024 Parenting Club.com All Rights Reserved