Talking about discipline... - now I feel bad.

MommyToAshley wrote: The other day at gymnastics, the kids were playing in the playroom before their class started. I turned my back for a minute to fill out a form when I heard some arguing. There were two girls trying to push Ashley out of a chair. When I looked up, they said that Ashley took the one girl's chair (the other girl was sitting in the seat next to it) I made Ashley get up, but she was saying "that's my seat. that's my seat" I thought she just meant that she wanted the seat and I told her that she had to wait her turn and the other girl had it first. Then, I asked her how it would make her feel if someone had taken her seat away... sad? angry?, etc. Well, little did I know that IS what happened. I saw another mother today and she told me that Ashley was playing nicely in the seat and the other girl just wanted her friend that she knew to sit beside her and they tried to push Ashley out of the seat. So, now I feel really bad. Ashley let the incident go almost immediately, and hasn't said anything else about it. I wonder if I should bring it up and tell her I am sorry and tell her I didn't know what had happened, or just forget about it because that might confuse her more? The incident happened a few days ago.

moped replied: Ahhh well that was nice of the mother to tell you that.............I would jsut leave it, I am sure she hasn't thought any more about it - but either way you did the right thing!!!

jcc64 replied: I actually think you should discuss it with her. Tell her that you made a mistake, you misunderstood what actually happened, and that you are sorry. It will be a tremendous relief to her- the way it unfolded must have been upsetting and confusing to her. It is always a good thing to model humility and a willingness to take responsibility for mistakes.

amynicole21 replied: I think I agree with Jeanne... even if she's forgotten the incident, it is a good opportunity to show her the importance of taking responsibility for your actions and going out of your way to make wrongs right. Poor Ashley.

coasterqueen replied: I agree with Jeanne. I would do the same with Kylie. It's important to let our children know that we 'mess' up from time to time too and that we need to acknowledge that. Kylie sure lets me know when I've done something I shouldn't and I acknowledge it and we discuss it.

moped replied: Yep, you guys are right - after reading the posts I also agree...................sorry!

I am allowed to talk before i think right - LOL...........kidding..........

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
ITA!

Kaitlin'smom replied:
I agree also

on a side note is this her first time at gymnastics? does she like it, what hapend to dance class or is she doing more? did she ask to try it? okay I am nosy sorry

MommyToAshley replied:
No, she's been doing gymnastics for about 8 weeks now. She still takes dance too. She really likes gymnastics, but she LOVES dance. I think the reason she wants to take gymnastics is because she wants to do flips in the air, but I told her it would be a while for that. LOL.

I think I said it in another post, I had planned to keep her in one activity but things snowballed and we go to something almost every day of the week. She loves it all though... I think she mostly enjoys being with the other kids... .and, DANCE.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: ITA! Moms make mistakes too!

MommyToAshley replied:
I was on the fence and debating on just dropping it... just because it had been so long since the incident. If I had found out right away, I definitely would have apologized and talked to her about it right then and there. They say discipline is most effective if administered right away, I wonder if apologies are the same. But, I might try talking to her anyways... it couldn't hurt.

Kaitlin'smom replied:
I did not realise she was taking it Kait LOVES jumping around she loves learing new skills and showing them off and they have a theme so its something new every 2 weeks.

redchief replied: Boy this topic takes me back! I remember agonizing over how to go about admitting a mistake without stripping my authority. It turned out fine in the end, and it turns out I can still make mistakes and be an authority figure! Whoda thunk it?

Anyway, Dee Dee, I've no doubt that Ashley will be able to completely relate the incident. I think kids need to know that its okay to admit when we're wrong. If we can't do that, how can we expect them to feel comfortable being honest with us?

ian'smommy replied:
Yes I agree... Even if she has forgotten it by now... It's important to let her know that you messed up... Ask her if she rremembers the incident and then explain taht mommy didn't understand what happened and made a mistake. I think she will feel a lot better knowing that mommy isn't always perfect and that you apologized like you expect her to do when she does something she shouldn't. If it will make you feel better at all, I'm sure I would have done the same thing you did.