Thank You for the HUGS yesterday! - Recap on Problems with DS, very LONG!

Kirstenmumof3 wrote: I haven't slept much. I kept tossing and turning all night. I will recap for all of you what has been going on. Last week at Soccer Spencer pushed a little boy down on the soccer field. No reason for this and I was the only one who really saw what happened. When he pushed this kid he had this smile on his face, kinda eerie. I didn't say anything to him right away, I waited for the switch to talk to him. I asked him why he pushed the little boy and all he said was "I dunno!" and shot me his angry look This is pretty much his standard answer. He won't talk to me, he won't talk to my DH, he won't talk to our family support worker (but he hasn't seen him in a few months), and he won't talk to his teacher. So now for the part that has me pretty upset, last night we came home from soccer and I was putting Claudia to bed. Claudia and Spencer share a room, so when I went into the room I could hear the Kitten crying really loud. I couldn't figure out where she was at first. I looked under the bed, in the closet and finally I opened one of Claudia's dresser drawers and found her in there. Spencer was downstairs having a tantrum because we wouldn't give him a snack before bed. He had spent an hour at his friends house. His friends parents offered to take him to their house so he wouldn't have to stay the extra hour for Emily's game and he had a snack at while he was there. Not to mention the fact that we didn't get home until 9:00 and they had been munching on salt n' vinegar rice cake chips. Anyway I was kinda rough with him and forcefully put him to bed, I'm not usually like this, but he has been extremely difficult these past few weeks and I'm kinda at my whits end! I don't know what to do!

I keep trying to think of all the sweet things he does! Spencer adores Claudia He sings to her, reads her stories, plays with her and is always talking to her. I love to sit and listen to the baby moniter at night. It's just so sweet! I'm trying to rationalize this, but could it be possible that the Kitten scratched him and he put her in there so she would leave him alone? I mean either way it's not right, but I don't know, maybe I want this to be just simple like that and not so cruel! He's a good little boy, but there is something wrong and I'm not sure what to do.

So here is my plan for this morning. I'm going to talk to our CAS worker, and our family support worker and I'm going to phone our Family Doctor and just find out about the referal he was making to the head pediatrician in our community. I also planned to talk to his teacher today and just fill her in on what has happened.

Thanks for letting me get this all out!

jem0622 replied: Gosh...I don't know. I have a friend who is a mom of 5 and her 6 yr old son sounds a lot like Spencer. He and his brother beat the tar out of each other sometimes. I am NOT kidding. And they are destructive/disrespectful of other's possessions. My friend came over with 4 of her 5 and her two boys (both 4 and 6) tied knots in one of Nathan's toys. I know it was her 6 yr old. It's almost vindictive behavior. Kids can be cruel, but the fact that he has no respect for the toys in our home (they have broken some of Nathan's toys and Nathan is not a boy (nor is Gabe)) that destroys their things. I would never tolerate that. I purposely did not invite my friends and her kids (I knew they'd be out of town but no invitation was sent to them) to Gabe's bday b/c they literally stand on top of the kids when they are opening gifts and they are just unreal. Whenever they visit they tend to not want to play with my kids. They are in their own world. If their 4 yr old is over then he and Nathan are like peas in a pod for several hours before they tire of one another. I won't be tolerating ANY of this when the twins come! No way!

I think that a talk with the CAS worker would help you get things out and figure out if there is a problem. Maybe he is going through a stage and a lot of it is in his head and he has no outlet to talk things out? My nephew, who is 10, has recently become more angry because his Dad (divorced from my sister) is a real a*&. I told my sister that she should put him back in counseling so that he can work through his thoughts and feelings with a neutral party.

HUGS

amynicole21 replied: Oh Kirsten, that is really a tough one! I'm glad you are addressing the problem early, though, because it does sound like he is acting out for a reason. I really hope you can get to the root of all of this before Spencer gets himself into trouble.

coasterqueen replied: ((HUGS)) Kirsten. It sounds like you have a good plan to try to get to the bottom of this. Hopefully you can figure out what is going on with him. and know that we are here for you.

CantWait replied: Sounds like a bit of a problem, I hope that you'll be able to work through it soon, and find the support you need. Best wishes

MommyToAshley replied: Here's some more hugs

I think it is great that you are involving all the people and professionals in Spencer's life. Hopefully, you will be able to figure out what is at the root of the problem. It sounds like Spencer can be very sweet and loving... but there must be a reason he is acting out. Let us know how it goes!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Thanks everyone. I've talked to all of the supports and they have all told me to just keep doing what we are doing. I do not know how long it is going to be before he sees the pediatrician.

kimberley replied: (((hugs))) Kirsten. i am sorry to hear he is giving you trouble again hopefully between you, the teacher and the CAS worker, you can figure out why he is acting out. hang in there. it does get better!

A&A'smommy replied: (((BIG HUGS))) I wish I could say something to make you feel better!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: You are all so wonderful! Thank You! I forgot to tell you that I did talk to Spencer about this and he says he put her in the drawer because the kitten scratched him and that he forgot about her.

loveydad replied: I'm sorry to hear that. Iknow kinda what you're going through.

A year ago, Vince and Kel were 4 years. Sometimse I couldn't even stand to be around them. They threw fits. They yelled. They went into the babies room and woke her up. They hit. They bit. They took freshly folded BRAND NEW CLOTHES and threw them out the window! They ruined their stuff. They took stuff out of the fridge and let it rot in their room.

Kel was showing signs of childhood depression. With so many kids in the house, he was feeling left out. Then I found out that Vincent was being mean to him all the time.

After Vincent ruined his room, we made him sleep in an empty room wtih just a sleeping bag (not the one he liked, either) and he learned his lesson.

I took them to a counsler and after a while they started feeling better and calming down. My oldest son, Henry, found ways to spend more time with Kel, and I did too. I think part of it was just growing out of it.

I know this doesn't help, just wanted you to know that you're not alone.

momof2girls replied: I dont know how old Spencer is but I do know they go thru lil phases and who knows why he did this... if it was a one time thing I dont think its a big deal.
My dd almost 9 loves her baby sister, more then she loves me! lol
but I know at times she feels left out and she acts out about it at the strangest times.

Its great that your so concerned and dealing with it and trying to get him to talk about it.

I just wanted to offer support!

Mistydiane replied: ((HUGS))