The McDonald's incident

redplaydoh wrote: Needless to say I will be avoiding the McDonald's in Lenzburg for a long time, if not forever...

Last Friday we took the kids to McDonald's. As always, I take both boys to the bathroom while DH orders the food. Then we head to the playground until DH shows up with the food.

After using the bathroom we were outside on the playscape as several others were sitting at the tables outside enjoying yet another nice warm day. All is fine until Bryan stands at the edge of the play platform and scream at the top of his lungs, "Mommy I need to make Gah-ki (Swiss word for poop).
Of course EVERYONE around knows what Gah-ki means and all heads turn snickering at such a cute little boy announcing this so loudly. I fly out of my seat and head towards him as he's pushing his pants down. As I reach him I see that unfortunately his warning came late as his pants were FULL of poop. He had poop tush to toes, painted down his legs. It was such a loose poop I don't think he was capable of holding it in so I wasn't mad with him. But I made the mistake of trying to pull his pants back up just so we could make it to the toilet to clean up. Bryan SHRIEKED, "NO!!! THERE'S GAH-KI IN THERE!!!" and started stamping his feet up and down in protest which just made the poop spritz everywhere, all over the playscape and the surrounding ground area. Now Bryan has it squished between his toes in spite of the sandals he was still wearing. A few feet away was a table of young men (early 20's) watching the fiasco. I had asked Lucas to go get Papi because I needed his help and when I glanced up to see if Lucas had done so I witnessed 3 of the men gagging and pushing their burgers away. I peeled Bryan's shorts off and we headed to the car with his wee-wee wagging, and poop smeared legs. We get there and I realize I don't have my freakin key with me. DH is nowhere to be seen. So I leave the clothes full of poop, sandals etc on the parking lot under our car. I take poop-smeared Bryan back inside (wee-wee is still dangling in the wind) where all the patrons inside got to see what they missed outside. I stood Bryan in the sink and bathed him with those horrible little brown towels that fall apart when wet. I head back outside with the wee-wee still wagging to find DH. He's sitting with Lucas at a table outside EATING!!! I tell him I need his help, and he asks what it is that I need.

#1 Go tell someone that Bryan just crapped all over the playscape and it needs cleaning.

#2 Get a bag for the clothes and put them away.

#3 Open the car so I can re-dress Bryan

#4 Get me the heck out of there so I can just crawl in a hole and die peacefully.

The table of young men I notice are now gone, nowhere to be seen. I'm sure they went right out and bought condoms so they would be certain they'd never be a parent. Talk about birth control.

mom2my2cuties replied: Holy cow sounds like you had a day. i think I would have found 2 holes. One big enough to stuff my DH's body in after I killed him for that and the other to hide in.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Holy crap!!!!!!

lol!

pun totally intended! lol!!

I was laughing so hard, my dh had to come see what it was I was laughing about...and he laughed so hard he just about cried!!

Oh what a great day to start a birthday...laughing!

hopefulmomtobe replied: I would have just died!! That story though and the way you wrote it was soooo funny!!!!

Those poor 20 yr olds, I think you are right. I bet you damaged them for life!! HAA HAA

TheOaf66 replied: what a crappy day

amynicole21 replied: OMG, you poor, poor thing!!! Nightmare

msoulz replied: Oh yeah, I too find myself LOL - but then if it were my kid it would be a different story for sure!! I'm glad you survived The McDonald's Incident (which sounds like a movie title to me!)

CantWait replied: Oh gosh, sorry hun. That sounds straight out of a movie.

grapfruit replied: I find it ironic that the last funny story I remember you telling involved poo too. (The poop scooping incident). LoL! I feel for you!

Calimama replied: Wow, you are one strong woman. I would have been throwing up.

sparkys2boys replied: Im laughing with you and not at you ok... HAHAHAHAH!!! Omg... that was to funny!!! What a day.. just another parenting experience!!

MyBabeMaddie replied: OMG I feel bad for laughing! That is too funny! Poor you though, how totally mordifying!

Mommy2BAK replied: i LOVE how you tell a story!! Sorry you had to go through all of that though!

luvmykids replied: OMG I'm sorry to laugh, I really do sympathize but can't help it

When I was a kid at McD's I thought it was fun to squish ketchup packets and see it squirt...it was funny until one shot across and hit the old man at the next table in the face My mom was mortified and we never did go back to that McDonalds

redplaydoh replied:
You're right, all my horror stories seem to revolve around poop.... so far. As bad as this was it didn't top finding Bryan chewing on Lucas' poop... that was by far the worse.

msoulz replied: Online motherhood show

You should submit this story to this new online show - I'll bet they would use it!!

Celestrina replied:
*runs to the bathroom and vomits* The first incident explains why you didn't get totally ill at McDonalds. Hey, once you've seen one of your kids eating poo, seeing it run down their leg in public is nothing. Far more embarassing, but no where near as disgusting.

Would you mind if I showed this one to my mom? She will howl when she reads this.

redplaydoh replied:

Last I checked Switzerland wasn't one of the states of the US.

Crystalina replied: That is really funny. Sorry. Out of all my poo stories I don't have anything that comes close to that one.

msoulz replied:
Oh, sorry - I didn't realize . . . but it would certainly make a good story for them!! It's their loss!!

MommyToAshley replied: Oh my... what a day.

I too had to laugh at the way you told the story, but I am sure it would not have been so funny to have been in that situation. I am sure when he is older, you will be able to look back and laugh at this story together.

redchief replied: Wow. And I thought I'd had a few bad days in my lifetime. I don't think I've ever had one that bad.