The Tooth Fairy must have increased - her annual budget!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: I just got my new issue of Parents magazine to find an absurd advertisement from Toys R Us. Shame on them! It has a young girl in the photo with a tooth missing. She is smiling and holding a fairly-like doll. The tagline says "Smiles like this don't just come from quarters under pillows." And at the bottom of the ad it says "You have the perfect reason. We have the perfect toy". Excuse me???? When did a quarter under a pillow become NOT GOOD ENOUGH?

Here's a clear example of this: Not to critsize my sister's parenting skills, but my niece who just turned six recently lost her first tooth. I called her to congratulate her and asked her if she received a visit from the Tooth Fairy. She replied "yes, she brought me $3 dollars!" Now I suppose I don't blame my sister for giving her so much when she lives in a city where you can't even buy a townhome for under 1 million dollars. And I can imagine all the other little 6 year olds in my niece's class were getting $3 per tooth, if not more. I suppose you have to keep up with the trend. But where do you draw the line? How do you teach your children the value of a quarter or even $1 these days? Or the value of just plain receiving something, whether it's just a card or a big hug?

Money is popular in the media. We see it everywhere. Look at all the young teen celebs who are worth billions of dollars and don't even have a drivers license yet. Have you seen the Sweet Sixteen reality show on MTV??? These are fifteen year olds who cry or say I hate you if their daddy doesn't buy them a $45K SUV, or a $10K designer dress from France.

Even though I grew up in the same city my sister lives now, I came from a very practical family in which I learned that MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES! Yes, I was jealous of my friends who owned swimming pools and always had the newest Barbie, but I feel that I am a better person today and understand the value of well earned money because my parents didn't give me everything I wanted.

I visited my family over the holidays and noticed the abundance of gifts for my three nieces sprawled around the living room. They opened one after the other, going back to the pile looking for the NEXT one to open. Some of the gifts were even half opened and then dropped to go get another. As if the girls were thinking "is this it??" They never stopped to play with what was just opened. They just wanted more. And even when it's someone else's gift, my nieces opened the gifts for them. My nieces are taught to say thank you, but I don't think they really understand the value of RECEIVING a gift. What will happen to the magic of the Tooth Fairy and Santa...will they just dissapear? Because without a gigantic budget under their belts, they're just not enough for kids these days??

Sorry, I'll get off my now...love to hear anyone else's opinion on this!

mammag replied: Well, the tooth fairy did leave $2 under Cade's pillow last night. But we never know what they'll get because, as I explained to the kids, it depends on how many teeth she collects each night and the condition of the tooth. (In other words, how much money is lying around) It worked out okay for me because I knew Cade likes to buy lunch but I'm trying to encourage him to pack but figured it would be a nice treat for himself to get enough to buy a lunch today. I do try to teach them the value of money though in other ways. For instance, I quit buying the older ones birthday presents and just give them $100. They get to shop and have learned to plan ahead and get the things they really want. They have learned that they can get expensive things but it will mean less items.

My2Beauties replied: HOney I am with you but I just cannot get it into my man's head neither. When Desiree loses a tooth, which she is almost done losing them all now, she would get $5-10 per tooth Now I will admit when I was little I did get $1-2 for teefers, but I didn't have luxurious things like other kids did neither, we were extremely poor! Desiree constantly says my dad is rich my dad is rich, for report cards she gets $5 an A and $3 a B and the kid makes straight A's, she normally gets anywhere between $30-40 bucks if he feels like giving her a bonus! I'm like can't you take her out for pizza or something, I mean really what is she going to use that money for. For Christmas all the kids had piles of presents and Brian's little brother got mad everytime Desiree opened up something nice, except he forgot that he already opened up an XBox, an arcade sized pool hockey table and a basketball rim, so he got 10 times what she got, but because she had a pile of toys when she was opening presents beside her he was like "Gosh look at what Desiree got" and he constantly says Brother Brian or LeaAnn or Mom or anybody can you take me out to eat at Texas Roadhouse? Why so you can order a $10 meal and eat 1/3 of it, puhlease boy you better go get you a bologna sandwich and have at it! When I was little I cherished each and every present and played with the one I had just opened at the moment! I was always anxious to give other's presents too! That was just how I was raised. I was never selfish like kids are nowadays. It's partly our faults because Brian and I want our kids to have what we didn't have, but there is a right and wrong way to do it! I will say Desiree is thankful for things and she doesn't ask for money, she just gets it! Her mom keeps her in check, becuase her mom doesn't give in like Brian does when it comes to money and she makes her say thank you and she has even told people not to give her money for things, but she can't stop Brian from doing it! I remember the best Christmas present I ever got was when I was 12 years old, it was a pack of shaving cream and a brand new razor from my dad - it meant I could finally shave my legs - WOW! I was so appreciative of that because of what it meant not for what it was! Kids nowadays don't get that.

5littleladies replied: We put a gift under Maddie's pillow for the first tooth she lost-we wanted that first one to be special. Now she gets a dollar for each tooth. We are doing our best to help our kids understand the importance of a dollar. I haven't been very consistent lately, but in our house, allowance is based on attitued and performance. For example-If they do their chores well without complaining they get their allowance, if not, well that's a bummer for them. I also hand out "extra-credit" chores for extra money, usually 25-50 cents per chore. My kids love it when they get a chance to make even a little money. But we also go the other way-We will often buy them something special when we are out, just because. My kids have way more than I did growing up, but I think it is still possible to have a balance.

amymom replied: I have loads to say about this. And I agree with mostly all of what has been said already. Kids need to learn limits and the value of a dollar.

But regarding the tooth fairy, my daughter who didn't lose her first tooth until just before she turned eight. Because of her waiting so patiently (which was difficult for her since all through K, 1st and 2nd grade they had'who lost a tooth' boards) she received $2 for that tooth. Her second tooth I had planned on giving her a 50 cent piece, but she did leave a note for the tooth fairy that it actually was two teeth. (she was missing a tooth and had what the dentist called a fused tooth) So she got two of those gold looking 'new' dollar coins under her pillow. I didn't have two fifty cent pieces. How could I not leave more with such a note???? She hasn't lost anymore teeth yet, but we do plan on leaving 50 cent pieces for all of them. My son (14 yr old) still has his fifty cent pieces from the teeth he lost.

I think that the 'fun' and 'fantasy' of the tooth fairy & Santa are lost in the Greed that our society gives to our children. With Santa I had to tell my kids that we told Santa to only spend a certain amount of dollars because they do compare with their friends and cousins. If my daughter doesn't come up with that there is no santa this year we may tell her just to calm the Christmas season down for us. Last year we allowed Santa to spend $50 on each of them and we bought them each an item they each wanted that was $100 and yet, my brother and his wife spent over $1000 on each kid. Plus those cousins have aunts & uncles that indulge them. So I can't compete and don't want to even if we could afford it.

3_call_me_mama replied: We haven't reached tooth loosing age yet but as a kid, I got $1 for each tooth, and I had to have one pulled once caus it wouldn't fall out, I got $5 for that one. WE never got allowence, we never got paid to do chores, it was expected as part of living in our house adn being part of our family. WE did not go without our parents got us what we wanted and needed but there were not prices out on it. If we needed new sneakers, we got them, but not ones that were $100 a pair, Basically if it looked nice and we could afford it and they would last we got them , but only once per year. We had paper routes at age 8 or so, and babysat neighborhood kids for extra cash. If we wanted something expensive we paid for it. From either saving or borrowing. Birthdays, we gave a list of ideas, my paretns picked what they wanted to get us, they might have got us the whole list or 1 thing off it or nothing off it depending on what was on teh list. Same for xmas. Santa brough tgifts from an idea list, adn then other ideas that he had, and my parents got us clothes or whatever. We weren't greedy or selfish about holidays or birthdays and were very appreciative. I think by putting suchan emphasis oon allowences and beign paid to do things around the house, opens a can of worms that may not be able to be closed. Especially if you start paying a preschooler, they expect higher pay as they age... then you are setting a precident that you may not want to or be able to keep up with. Just my

~KARA~ replied: Wow we are being cheap! My dd only gets 25 to 50 cents per tooth.
But there for a while she was making them loose so she could have the money!

mom21kid2dogs replied:
LOL! Thank you Kara! I thought it was just me. I got a 50 cent piece for each tooth and so will Olivia. I don't think the tooth fairy needs a cost of living adjustment!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Kara, I don't think you're being cheap, but that's my opinion on the matter. I'm not saying that it's bad for a parent to want to buy their child nice things just for the sake of buying them. Kids deserve things "just because" for sure. I am guilty of this myself, registering for every doodah baby gadget I saw online at Babies R Us even before Wil was born. It was all totally the things I wanted, not necessarily needed. So I definitely understand the feeling of wanting more. I just find it scary that kids are losing their imagination because "imagination" is so easily bought these days. I know our parents said the same thing about our generation, but it's just getting worse every year. I want to teach my child to explore and to "make up" things on hiw own without the help of some expensive gadget telling him how. I want him to dig in the dirt with his bare hands, now that doesn't cost a thing. It's PRICELESS! This is all I'm saying here...I just worry about my child feeling that he NEEDS expensive things and/or money to BE someone in this world. I want him to learn that money doesn't make you a better person by any means. Maybe I'm overreacting since my baby isn't at the point he has lost any teeth yet, and I am not faced with a crying or disappointed child who didn't get what he wanted for Xmas, but I'm trying to set MYSELF up for showing a good example, not just go with whatever other parents are doing. He's going to have to learn, just like I did, that family's are all different, poor or wealthy. And that mom is not buying you something just because Billy down the street has it.

mom21kid2dogs replied:
And because an involved parent is a child's strongest influence, by living as you expect them to live you will accomplish what you want here. Sure, they'll wrestle with this issue for themselves someday but your influence will likely not be lost on them! For me, it's been very freeing to give up on worrying about the influence of others and spend more time ensuring I'm living the kind of life I'd like my child to emulate!

I do have a funny "keeping up with the Jones'" story, though. I have a brother whose is extremely well off financially and very much lives in the material world. We recently went over to their house and his son, Jarrett, was bragging to my daughter that he got a "$100 Hummer" remote control car for his birthday (guess it went well with the 4 wheeler they got him ). Olivia looks at me and says "Mommy, what's a Hummer?" I was laughing my head off!

Nila replied: My boys are going to feel cheated because I am pretty sure we are only giving them quarters

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
Hey, did you grow up in my house? That is exactly how it was with us growing up and how I'm certain we will raise our children.

A&A'smommy replied:
yeah same here except when I became a teenager I became a spoiled one not as spoiled as the ones on that stupid mtv show which btw is SO stupid! but my dad was making more money so we got a little more for doing extra stuff around the house or helping my mom out with a party or something I don't think we are going to let Alyssa get that spoiled at least we don't plan on it

3_call_me_mama replied:
This is the path we intent to take also:) It worked well for me, (although a little hard to like when i was younger!)

MM'sMama replied: I could not agree more its out of control these days. I remember when I lost a tooth I got $1 a tooth and I was very veyr happy with that. And I was always very thankful for what I received as gifts. It's so out of control