The nerve - ex babysitter

JulieJ wrote: Ok, I just had a call from my ex babysitter. The one that waited to tell me that she quit when I am on my way to work and my husband has left for out of town. She has cost me two weeks work and unbelievable stress, and she has the nerve to call me to tell me I can leave her money in her mailbox. She has cost me so much money that I hope I have gas money when they let me go back to work. I simply can't believe the nerve. Plus she owes me $35.00 for lunch that she swore she would pay and never has.

lisar replied: I would put her off for a few weeks and tell her well seems how I had to take 2 weeks off work cause you just quit I dont have it to pay you, so you gotta wait like all the other bills I have

mckayleesmom replied: What do you owe her money for if she didn't watch your kids?

Boo&BugsMom replied: I'm confused. Do you still owe her money from when she DID watch your kids? I mean, not to play devil's advocate, but if you did use her services she should still be compensated unless you have a written contract of sorts. If not, that is illegal to not pay her for services rendered, regardless of how she quit. If she is wanting to get paid for services not rendered, then yeah, she's crazy. I know it's hard to not get mad at someone for quiting on the spot, but if she is still waiting for compensation for her services then the right thing to do is to pay her if she did work.

And why does she owe you $35 for lunch? Is it for your kids? If so, then she shouldn't owe it back to you. Just curious is all.

ETA: I guess I kind of look at it from this perspective. I use to own and manage a daycare. There have been times where kids had to be removed from the center. Parents still had to pay for the care they recieved. Even though it was hard to let a child go from care regardless of the situation, the parents still used the services of the center and compensation was still expected.

JMO

Calimama replied: Well if you owe it to her pay her and hopefully she'll leave you alone.

JulieJ replied: We went out to lunch as friends and spent $70 which she said she would pay her half and she never did. Yes I owe her for 2 days of watching my kids and this I know. She did quit in the middle of my work week and did not finish her job. The phrase getting blood out of a turnip comes to mind. After DH gets paid from construction in 3 wks (commercial work) and and I go back to work on Monday which means I will miss a pay period, she may have her money. I just thought she was very nervy asking for money with how she left things and the way she asked for it.

Boo&BugsMom replied: How about subtracting the $35 from what you owe her, and then just inform her that you took the liberty in taking out what she owes you so she doesn't have to go through the trouble of getting it to you in the future. If you make it seem like you're doing her a favor, maybe it will soften the blow. Then, everything is said and done.

CantWait replied:
I like this idea. However seeing on how she left you high and dry last minute, I would get caught up on your other bills first.

JulieJ replied: thank you all; I appreciate each and every one of you!

redchief replied: Frankly, I'd tell her to go pound sand. I wouldn't give her a dime.

JulieJ replied: Redchief I think I luv u. I have toyed and struggled with this. My first reaction was that she did watch my kids for 2 days. She did not finish the job. On Sat she told me how committed she was and would not make it difficult for my husband to leave town. Then when I am on my way to work (I call her to let her know what I have prepared for dinner to make it easy on her) she tells me that she is done. Would she have just left my kids at school with no one to get them? I was grateful for the first week I was given off in order to find childcare. The second week I did not ask for and requested it back and was denied. This has cost me a whole paycheck. Construction sometimes only pays once a month as in this case. I am up the perverb creek. She has cost me so much. I dont want to be a vindictive cold mean person, but I don't want to be a pushover either. Thank you again for your thoughts.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I'm not saying pay her first, I'm just saying when she DOES pay her, subtract the money she owes for the lunch, whenever that will be. Ultimately other bills are going to superceed this one.

But for the record...often times what we "want" to do, is not the "right" thing to do. It takes a lot of courage to sometimes be the bigger person and do the right thing regardless of how we see it.

Instead of penting up all this fruatration, why don't you tell her your side of the story. Chances are she has no clue as to how much more money her quitting on the spot has cost. She may have also forgotten about oweing you for lunch. If you explain to her that you feel you don't owe her any more money due to her quitting like that, perhaps she will see your side and understand. It's worth a shot, and I think if you really don't want to pay her, I think that is the more adult thing to do than just ignoring her.