They say there is a FIRST time - for everything.......

punkeemunkee'smom wrote: And today was our first time for an ALL OUT kicking screaming (I am sure CPS will be called the way she yelled) FIT of epic proportions in the store. I have seen some excellent displays of pouting,whining,and even the occasional yelling/whining/crying mix but today... It was like she bundled all the fits she has ever thrown and threw them all at once again IN PUBLIC!!! It started when she wanted one of those little tube in a tube deals that you try to hold on to and they slide out of your hands...I told her OK if she was good while we waited for Papa's medicine she could have it but she had to wait until we bought it to take it out of the plastic...The ones on display had been dropped and played with and were FILTHY and I told her that one would get dirty too. Well she takes it out of the plastic and drops it I say pick it up and put it back in the plastic to which she replies "NO!" What the?????? So I say OK give it to me and I put it back on the shelf...that should have been the end BUT it was just the beginning of what will be known from here on in as the day my child grew horns! She started screaming and yelling and when I took her hand she yelled IT HURTS!!! IT HURTS!!! So I say when we get home time out 5 minutes (that is what we do and we add 5 everytime she says something against us until it is over and YES we have done 45 minute time outs in the beginning BUT it has worked of late we did not have to do more than 10 as a rule) She says I DON"T LIKE TIME OUT!!!! A lady give me one of those looks I say fine then you will go to time out and be spanked (that has never failed) She starts YELLING PLEASE NOOOOOOOOO DON"T SPANK ME!!!!!!!! OK by now I am beginning to panic and getting progressively more The last wail is out of her mouth and I am heading for the door and the manager of the pharmacy comes over IGNORES me bends down to her and says "Are you OK honey? Do you need any help?" I say she is 5 and she is fine she is just testing her limits He looks at me like I am Satan's mistress and says again to her
" Do you need anything?" Now I am thinking this is getting comical I am waiting for the police to show or something. I tell her get over here we are leaving and YOU are in real trouble look at everyone staring at us(of course I am speaking so low she is wide eyed by now) I think beginning to realize what she had just acted like....We get in the truck she says I will be good now. I was at a loss I call my parenting mentor yes you! And she tells me it is not a sign of posession I call Bill and ask him what I should do....So far she has been ON THE BED all night no TV and no toys....she has pretty much been yelling for me the entire time swearing she will be good FOREVER and it is breaking my heart. She will choose 5 toys tomorrow to give to children who need them and we will not be going to the movies this weekend. I know it sounds like alot BUT I never want to see that kind of behavior again. If you made it this far THANK YOU! Did I do the right thing? Did I handle this wrong? Am I being too strict now? I don't know............PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!

CosmetologyMommy replied: I think u did the right thing. I think every child will at least once have a store tantrum.

BAC'sMom replied: Sounds like you did a fine job Mom.

punkeemunkee'smom replied:
Girl that just started me bawling! I have been feeling like a real big failure at motherhood tonight! I am in AWE I have never seen that in her before today! Thank you Jimmie!

BAC'sMom replied: I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry. But I have a little girl too and I know how they can get. I have to slick Ansley's little horns down every morning!

luvmykids replied: You have never seen that side because you're doing such a great job! I could take some lessons from you!

MM'sMama replied: OH my goodness Abbie! Bless your heart! Been there done that looked like the spawn of Satan when I tryed to get him to stop! Hang in there!

Worst one with Brice was, He was 3 and we were at Wal-Mart just him and I, I was trying to have his Easter pic taken (needless to say we didn't get Easter pics that year). Anyway I had just gotten him dressed in his cute little sweater suit. I was so happy because he was behaving so well and he was just sitting on my lap and smiles. And to this day I still don't know what brought it on. They called our name and set him down to walk and BOOOOOOOOOOOOM! He hit the floor screaming bloody murder telling me "you tuck, you tuck you tuck" (suck). At this point I just wanted to clam him down because people were starting to stare and I just wanted to grab him and leave. I go to grab him and he starts kicking me and says go away, leave me alone etc.! Yeah I looked great at this point. Then he does the banging his head on the floor telling me he hated me! I told him he was in so much trouble and was going to get a BIG BIG time out! I was almost in tears when we finally did leave, and I lost it when someone as I was passing by said to her daughter "this is why teen moms are horrible people"!

luvmykids replied:
OMGosh I'm so sorry that had to have been so awful but I am ROFL! Sorry!

C&K*s Mommie replied: Abbie, you did great! I could learn a lesson or two about holding onto that consistency of punishment and having it extend beyond that day. I am so glad your parenting mentor was able to ease your alleviate your concern that your child was possessed. LOL I think that runs across all moms minds from time to time, just to attribute the unusual behaviour of our child to something.

The nerve of that pharmacy manager to undermine you, and your authority.

But overall, you handled it well. As long as you reassured her that you still love her, and I am sure you did. Remaining calm, and also extending the punishment into the weekend, is a good choice.

Sorry for the embarrassment, but I hope she has learned a lesson, and this is the first and last time a FIT of epic proportions will occur.

~~~~~~~~~
that comment was uneccesary! If she would think back for a second, she must have had at least one time when her child(ren) threw fits too. Regardless of the age the mother is when she is raising that child, children throw fits.

holley79 replied: Holy Cow. I would defiantly be at a loss had it been me. Sounds like you handled it very well and I don't think you are being too strict.

MommyToAshley replied: Wow that sounds so out of character for her! You handled it perfectly!!! It's the manager that should be embarrassed!!! I'm sorry that happened. But, I think you did/are handling it perfectly and your daughter will learn her lesson and not do that again. Being a Mom is so hard sometimes.

PrairieMom replied: Oh my goodness. I think you did a fine job. Way to stick to your guns.

amymom replied: Good Job. Hopefully the prevention will work! Stay strong, I know how hard it is.

jem0622 replied: That is the age when I started taking away priviledges with Nathan. Plus I started sending him to his room for punishment. He had never gone to his room for punishment before and you would think it was the end of the world! She is trying to see how far she can take it and you have to set those boundaries!

Mom2BNTN replied: I don't think you were out of line at all! You did a good job in letting her know that you won't tolerate that kind of behavior. Sometimes you have to be strict in order to show them you really do mean business. I have always had a problem with anyone who tells their children they were going to be punished for the way they misbehaved and then never did. IF you tell your child they will get a spanking or time out then I believe as a parent and in order to teach them discipline then you must follow through and give them that spanking or time out. So yes, you did the right thing!

luvbug00 replied: I think you handled it fine.

3xsthefun replied: I think that you done just fine.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Abbie you definitely did the right thing. I've been through so many of those moments with Maddie. Only she was younger and there were quite a few of them. It's never easy and the people in the store should be well aware of that.

Quit beating yourself up...you are such a great mom. I'm so impressed that you've gone this long without a tantrum.

Bee_Kay replied: Abbie. I am just "WOW" at your post.

The first thing that came to mind is that she is learning how to play games. She knew she had the "security" of strangers (and of course that dumb@$$ pharmacist only empowered and enabled her bad behavior) and she completely indulged in it... and of course, accomplished embarrassing you.

So, no you are not being too strict. Don't give in to her. She has got to be taught a tough but valuable lesson.

You are a wonderful mother and I think you handled it with more patience and more tact than I could have.

Heaven knows, children that are REALLY abused DO NOT yell and scream in the middle of a store..... that pharmacist should have known better. Shame on him.

punkeemunkee'smom replied:

I thought of that in the middle of the night lastnight I was so upset lastnight now I am dreading the whole toy thing cuz it will hurt me just as much as it hurts her and I don't want her to think of giving toys away as punishment but I really don't want to see that again. She cried so much lastnight and she woke up for the storm. She got up with me about 8:30 and ate cereal and is back right now(she remembered though because she asked do I still have to choose toys today? I will be good now) so when I wake her up we will see how she handles the toy drama. She LOVES her keyboard but I bought her a new one(Disney Princess) for her birthday so I am thinking that should be one of the toys seeing how she will get a new one in a month and because she plays with it ALOT and I told her one toy is going to be an everyday toy..... Or would that be mean?
Thank you all for the kind words! I told Bill lastnight I was being talked about at some dinner tables because Lord knows I would have been talking about that horrid child if she hadn't been mine! I ask for forgivness to all mothers everywhere who's children I have used as an example of bad behavior! Because it bit me right in the butt lastnight!

Bee_Kay replied:

Ah heck.... little does that pharmacist know that ladies from all over are bashing his behavior !!!

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well of course you heard my parenting going on last night! It was the day for Tanner and Taylor..they are meant to be girl!

Well I think you did it right! She needed to be in trouble. I told you my kids have done the same thing. .Please don't spank me.. Please don't.. in the middle of Wal Mart!

But if you said taking away toys..then you had to stand by it. Good job mom!

punkeemunkee'smom replied:
They did both have days huh? Must be the moon. I told Bill that you saved Taylor from having a mom lastnight! I did not feel so bad after talking to you-BUT if it ever happens again I am shipping her to ya-fit and all!

amymom replied: Well Abbie you are definetely stronger than I am. Good job on handling this.



The concern I have with this is that the new one (which I am guessing she is not aware of) will always relate back to this bad day. I don't know if you want to do that. I am not sure I am explaining what I mean, but I think you want her to suffer a consequence and then move forward. If she is missing her keyboard and gets a new one soon, what will she learn from that? I hope I made this clear. Good Luck

Mommy2Isabella replied: I know when I was younger, I THREW FITS!! I was probably every mothers nightmare ... hehe .. hopefully I am not cursed and don't get payback with Isabella. Though, I am SO GLAD to be a part of this forum, especially with a girl on the way, I know it is going to be hard for Sal and I to punish her and know that we are doing the right thing. I am so happy that I know I will have some of you WONDERFUL women to turn to. As I will be a 'TEEN' mother ...I know I will get LOOKS from people ... but you guys are GREAT and I am sure I won't have a problem with getting advice!!

Bee_Kay replied: Jessi-

Just wanted to let you know that I LOVE the change on your signature line

** FUTURE MOM TO ISABELLA MARIE **

Very sweet!!

Crystalina replied: This has happend to me before. My two little demons (ehem..angels) seem to work together. I have walked out of Wal-Mart with one kid in each hand before and I have literally left a cart of groceries just sitting. All that work But they are NOT going to act like brats with me.

My2Beauties replied: Girl you kept your cool better than I would have. I'm telling ya me and that pharmacist would have been in a shouting match! I think you're doing the right thing by sticking to your guns. Good for you, I would have been out the door and at home screaming at the top of my lungs in 1 minute flat, well screaming in the car on the way home too I tend to yell first before I think. Then I feel bad later, so you did the right thing.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Trust me when I tell you that I came to the full understanding of why my mom could YELL until her face turned blue all day long and my dad could speak in that tone so low you had to strain to hear him and my dad was scarier! I always figured it was because it was dad and he stuck by grounding me-NOPE it must be ingrained in a child to know that if your parents lips are moving and you can't hear them at a sonic boom level when you are in trouble-you have just crossed a line that you may not come back from! I said get over here now and walk to the truck and she had the biggest eyes I have ever seen- She knew I meant business! I also figured out this is the way to do it! There is no discussion you get one warning and then you know the rules that way I am not feeling guilty for yelling or making threats of punishment I won't keep

ilovemybaby replied: I can't believe the manager came and asked if she was ok. What the... can't we even discipline our kids in public anymore? It's not like you spanked her. You said she was getting time out. Geez.

kimberley replied: i am sorry for laughing but your description was very vivid and funny. satans mistress

i am sorry she acted that way and don't think you did anything wrong. i would have poked the pharmacist in the eye for undermining me tho . it already sounds like she is learning her lesson. hang in there.. it only gets.. different lol.

gr33n3y3z replied: Wow that was alot in that short period
They all try and see what they can get away with you did good

punkeemunkee'smom replied:

Why am I not picturing flowers and sunshine with that statement???

kimberley replied:
sorry lol! i was typing it only gets better but couldn't lie there are just different challenges at different ages.