This Isn't GoodBye-Just See You Later - Very Sad
Kirstenmumof3 wrote: I'm writing to let all of you know of a lot of changes in my life right now. I don't know how to tell all of you what has happened, or even why these things have happened. It's been a very difficult few months for me. Wednesday April 13 I was admitted to the hospital. This depresssion and mental illness have taken over my life and it's getting harder and harder to cope. On Monday while still in the hospital I made the most difficult decission I have ever made, after 10 years of marriage my husband and I have seperated. No one in that house is happy. DH and I have been fighting constantly for months now. I finally told him that we both need time. I asked him if he wanted to continue with Marriage Counselling and he said no. He told me that if I left, it was over and I couldn't come back. I know he said this out of anger and I hope that in time we will be able to work through everything and get back together. I am still keeping that hope alive. DH is keeping the kids, right now he is the most stable person in there life, I can't keep putting them through all of this. I love my children dearly and I am thinking of there best intrests and always have. DH says that I can see the kids whenever I want, I will always be a part of there life. Right now I am now homeless, living with friends and finally having to accept help from my parents. I don't know where I go from here, or what will happen. I'm very scared and I feel so alone. I have applied for housing and have a lot of support from the Canadian Mental Health Association.
Please take care everyone!
bwalkerletters replied: I'm sorry to hear about all of that! I was in a very very similar situation with my ex, and I know the pain and feelings that both of you are going through. I guess, more so on your DH side, since I was on that side of it. That's great that you are going to take the necessary steps to get help for yourself, because most of all, your beautiful kids rely on you! My ex didn't see that, and I'm thankful that you do! It's hard to be the best mother possible unless you take care of yourself! Sometimes we can forget that, but I'm proud of you for doing what you are doing. Everything will work out for the best, I promise! 
gr33n3y3z replied: I'm sorry about all of your problem but you are a strong woman and you are trying to get help an make things better and you will you will see it will it may take time and finding the right combo of meds.
Sending you support hugs and best wishes
ProudAunty replied: I'm so sorry to hear what you have been going through. I totally understand because i'm going through with the same thing with my bf. Its hard but we just take one day at a time. Hang in there it will get better..
Mommy2BAK replied: Oh I am so sorry to hear this Kristen. But you sound like you are on the right track. I hope things get better soon for you and your family. Your friends here on pc.com will always be here for you! Come back when you can!
((((HUGS))))
kimberley replied: (((hugs)))) Kirsten. i am sorry you are going through a difficult time right now but am very proud of you for getting the help you need. if you ever need to talk, you can call me (i will PM you). stay strong hon!
~Roo'sMama~ replied: I'm sorry Kirsten!! I'm glad you're getting the help you need and I hope that everything will work out with you and your dh. I'll be praying for you.
We'll miss you!!! 
ediep replied: awww, kirsten ((((HUGS))))
I am so sorry that you are dealing wth this. I hope that everything works out for you and Dh and your family. It sounds like you are on the right track to gettin healthy.
5littleladies replied: Kirsten, I'm so sorry you are dealing with all of this. I am glad you are getting the help you need and I will be praying that everything works out for you and your family. We are always here for you if you need anything. Take care of yourself! We will miss you!
Kirstenmumof3 replied: Thank You so much everyone! I am at the house right now and we've told the kids. Things seem to be going okay, Emily was upset and Spencer was just fine. I know this will be difficult for everyone, but we will get through this. You are all so special and so understanding. Thank You!
Jamison'smama replied: My goodness, ((((Big Hugs))) to you. Hang in there, you are a strong woman who is doing what is best for your children. I'll be praying for you and sending positive thoughts.
mummy2girls replied: Oh hun i am so sorry! I hope that you all can get through this difficult time. big hugs to you hun(((HUGS)))
mammag replied: Oh Kirsten, I'm sooo sorry to hear what you are going through but I think you are doing the best thing. I grew up in a household where depression led to alcoholism and we just had to watch everything fall apart. It's wonderful that you did what you had to do before things got to bad. You are doing the best thing for your children. You need to take this time to help yourself and get better so that you can be the best mom for those kids.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers and my heart is crying for you. Please let us know if we can do anything to help you and let us know how you are doing. Take care sweetie!
MommyToAshley replied: Kirsten, sweetie, I am so sorry for everything you are going through. I knew you had struggled with the mental illness, but I didn't realize you were having such a rough time now. You are such a strong and brave woman for seeking help in order to get your life back in order. My heart just breaks, I wish there was something I could do to help.
Please find a way to keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. We all love and care about you. I will be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
amynicole21 replied: Kirsten, I don't know what to say. I am so sorry. I'm keeping you in my thoughts, and I hope that you can find some happiness in your life. Hang in there sweetie! We all love you.
aspenblue1 replied: Kirsten I am so sorry you are going through all this.
beckamouse replied: i'm going to miss you and pray for you a whole lot.
A&A'smommy replied: OH hun I'm not even sure what to say to you except that we will ALWAYS be here for you and that we love you!!! I Hope you will be able to work things out with your husband in the future but it sounds to me like YOU need some time to learn to cope/heal from your depression! (((((BIGGEST BIGGEST HUGS)))))) take care sweetheart and please let us know how you are as soon as you can!
mom21kid2dogs replied: Good for you, Kirsten, for making such good decisions about so many difficult issues! I KNOW you'll come out on the better side of this!
I'll keep you and those around you and supporting you in my prayers! Check in when you can~we care!
Josie83 replied: Kirsten I'm so sorry to hear this. First of all thanks for being brave enough to tell us. You have made some hard decisions but at least you are strong enough to make the ones which are right for your children. I know how hard it must be for you. Please know that we are always here for you whenever you want to comeback. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, and I'll miss you. Take care xx
CCTandME replied:
My2Beauties replied: Kirsten please know that we will always be here and kudos to you for making such a difficult decision and still doing what is right for yourself and your family! I hope everything works out ok between you and DH! HUGS to you hon! Please keep us up to date!
DansMom replied: Kirsten, I noticed that you haven't been posting lately, and was fearing that maybe some bad things were going on. I'm so sorry to read about this crisis. You've shown a lot of courage and honesty with us, and it's been heartbreaking for me to read what you've written about your struggles with depression and PPD. I hope things will get better soon
jcc64 replied: Kirstin,
I'm so sorry your illness is getting the better of you right now. But you've been at this long enough to know that it ebbs and flows, and while it seems dark and vast now, there will be light eventually. I've always admired your honesty and courage concerning your illness, and I believe in the end that will lead you back to where you want to be. I pray for strength for you and your family in what has to be a very very tough time. Here's to better days ahead for all of you.
Kirstenmumof3 replied:  You are all such wonderful people! Thank You, Thank You so much! I have access to the Internet at the public library, but not for any length of time. I am very overwhelmed right now by all of your support. I am doing okay, the mornings are the hardest. The kids seem to be doing well, I've been talking to them everyday. It's very strange to be living with my parents again. I found out today that there is an apartment opening up in a subsidized housing on May 15, so it won't be long now before I have a place to live. The tension is gone, finally, DH and I are talking like we haven't in a long, long time. I don't know what the future holds for us, maybe we will get back together, maybe we won't. I don't know. But I do know that we will always be close and have a relationship. The kids are the most important thing right now. I will be seeing them tonight, my first time alone with them in almost 2 weeks. I miss them so much, but have been talking to them everyday. Thank You everyone for your kind words and your support.
Take Care!
kimberley replied:  i am happy for you hon! glad things are all moving forward and that you and DH are able to talk again. have fun with the kids tonight and don't forget that we are always here for you!
coasterqueen replied: I'm so sorry I'm late to post to this.  Kristen. I'm going to miss you and hope at some point you can come back and let us know how you are doing. You are a great woman and mother and don't think anything differently. You are so brave for getting help and thinking of your children. My prayers will be with you every step of the way.
~Roo'sMama~ replied:
I'm glad that you and your dh are able to talk again and that the tension is gone!  I'll be keeping you in my prayers. Good luck with getting the apartment!
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