This is getting serious - It gets worse

Iluvmyboys wrote: Wow I don’t even know how to start this! Tonight I was passing by Bens room and saw him standing by his night stand and quickly shove something in a draw like he was hiding something. I ask him what it was, thinking it was more pills or something and he said it was nothing that he was just looking for something. He was standing right in front of the night stand acting like he didn’t want me in there so I had to push him out of the way to open the drawer. Im still in complete shocked over what I found, part of me wish it were pills for some reason. I open the drawer and my heart nearly stopped.... There was a small gun Im like what the h*ll, Im totally speachless at this point and I still am. I had so many questions running through my mind and even now I cant think straight! I feel like I shouldnt even be typing this, that I should be doing something! But I dont know. I called DH since hes across town at a friends and he said he be right down and if Ben tries to do anything call 911. Well I asked him what was he was doing hideing a gun? He said come on mom you need protection these days you can never be to safe. I asked him where he got it and he said one of his friends hooked him up. Im at a lost what I should do. Its even loaded!!! I dont even know what kind of gun it is, I dont know guns. I just know its a small hand gun. Some how I dont believe hes needing it just for protection! Am I jummping to conslusions? Wow Im so scared. Right now Im waiting for DH

MoonMama replied: Honey I am going to be honest I don't really know what to say. But I wanted to send you lots of hugs, thoughts and prayers. I would get him some help and FAST! Please KUP and know I am sending lots of P&PTs your way.

luvmykids replied: As a parent I'd be at a loss too...IMHO there is no reason for him to have one. I think you need to get to the bottom of it, like is he afraid of someone, has someone at school been giving him trouble, etc and if he won't answer to you he needs to answer someone else. I'd start with the school counselor first thing tomorrow morning and go from there.

Another question is how well do you know his friends? I'd definitely want to know who "hooked him up" in that area.

mckayleesmom replied: I would look in the phone book and call your local suicide hotline and ask them where you could get help for your son. His behavior is very disturbing since his friends death...He sounds very conflicted and its impeding his judgement and mental health..I hope he gets better soon....Perhaps he just needs help from a medical standpoint...possibly being admitted to a facility for a while.

marylandsoxfan replied: That's. . .wow, I don't even really know what to say. I'd call a suicide hotline or take him to the hospital ASAP. He needs serious intervention in a place where they can tightly control his access to anything harmful and watch him constantly. The fact that he's getting this kind of stuff (pills, guns, etc.) and no one knows exactly how, when, or where is really scary.

I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. Please KUP! And be very careful with that gun.

amymom replied:

CantWait replied: I hate to say it, but I think he needs serious preventative treatment. Like an overnight centre. IMHO this is his second cry for help, I don't believe for a second that it's "for protection", his actions lately point to other reasons.

hoosier momma replied:

I totally agree.

lisar replied:
I agree. Somewhere where they can control what he has acess to. I hope it all gets better for you soon.

my2monkeyboys replied: Please, please, please get him help NOW. My mother had a friend who did almost the same thing... hid a gun, and when it was found she claimed it was for protection. 3 days later she killed herself with it. PLEASE get him somewhere now. He needs help.
Your family is in my prayers. Please keep us posted.

lovemy2 replied:
Yes, I think this has progressed beyond letting him find his way through this with some "gentle" guidance....I would look for some kind of inpatient treatment for him if you can and I would definately get the police involved since he says he got it from a "friend" that is illegal................

Mommy2BAK replied: WOW I really hope you are able to get him the help he needs FAST!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I really don't know what I would do. Although my boys are much much younger, I somehow can put myself in your shoes and feel how scared you must feel. Any parent would be scared, but it just hits home for me since I can see myself in your place in the future. All kids deal with peer pressure at school, but I think boys deal with much more dangerous issues. JMO. Don't be afraid to reach out for help now. My MIL just lost her 21 year old nephew from a gunshot to the head from a friend who was mentally disturbed. I'm sure the murderer's parents had some idea that things weren't okay with their son. They should have got him help. But now it's too late. Two young men are dead as a result of no one taking this guy seriously.

I'm so sorry.... My thoughts and prayers are with you.

msoulz replied: OMG, thank God you saw that.

I have nothing intelligent to offer but I have been following along and I just wanted to chime in and offer support. It sure sounds like you have been doing everything right for him. You are a great mom to keep your eyes close on him.

ZandersMama replied: please get him some help, take him to the hospital and get him some help. i'm so very sorry you have to go through this.

Calimama replied: I would take him to a hospital. You guys are in my prayers.

lovemykiddies replied: I'm really sorry your family is dealing with this.

Seriously, though, I'd put everything else aside and call the police or the ER. I wouldn't even wait for his dad. This is out of your hands, and serious intervention is required. Personally I think he should have been put in a psychiatric center after the incident with the pills.

PrairieMom replied: How are things going now? any update?

Iluvmyboys replied: OMG Its been a long day! I didnt sleep all night last night but I did sneak in a nap this afternoon. So shortly after posting my last post I decided not to wait for DH and to call a suicide hotline for our state to ask what I should do. I had to do this outside away from Ben because I was afraid what he might do if he heard who I was calling. Who knows, he could have another gun on him for all I know. I barely know him at all any more. So I called in and they transfered my call to the nearest hospital who told me an ambulance was on its way since I didnt think I could get Ben into the car. He clearly didnt want to go and like I said I was afraid what he might do if I even brought it up. So she told me to just act normal, dont mention the call, keep talking to him and see if I can get more info on the gun and most importantly do not leave him alone. Greg was home too so we both just started talking to him and I asked about a million questions about the gun like who gave it to him, when did he get it, where, etc. By this time the ambulance was here, I was so relieved when I saw them pull up! Ben just panicked I cant even explain the look on his face. Ive never seen him like that his whole life. They came in asked him what was going on and he said nothing my moms just over reacting and freaking out. Then they asked about the gun and how it was illegal for him to have it. He said he didnt know that. They asked him what he planned to do with the gun and he said nothing that it was just for protection. They told him theres no reason for him to have a gun since he isnt being threatened or bothered by anyone. I told them about the pills and they asked him questions about that. To make a long story short they took him in which I was surprised he didnt put much of a fight. Guess he figured he doesnt stand a chance since they were all pretty heavy set men. He was taken to the ER where they were waiting for him and started asking more questions and then they found out about Squishy and asked him about her.
They admited him so they could keep a close watch on him and to get a full physical which he had this afternoon. He hasnt done any drugs since that day which I was really surprised. After the physical they transfered him to the behavioral health unit for impatient treatment. He has a mental evulation (sp) test in the morning to check his full mental state and his depression. Most likely hes going to stay in inpatient for a while to learn grief/coping skills at least until they transfer him to a specialized psychiatric center. They said the school should have called the ER when he took all those pills that day. But IDK Im just glad hes being taken care of. Hes staying over night which is going to be tough. I havent really talked to him since. I Just know hes refusing to eat or talk. Tomorrow Im going to know more

PrairieMom replied: Good for you for doing the right thing! I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you to take that step.

MommytoTommy replied: oh wow. i dont even know you and i wish i could give u a hug!
i hope things work out for u and your family. i really do. keep posting updates!

redchief replied: I'm so sorry this progressed so quickly. I'm glad you didn't wait though. Ben needs help you can't provide right now. My bet is he'll be inpatient for a while. Since that's been taken care of I think now would be a good time to follow up with the police and see what good buddy of his "hooked up" Ben with a gun. That's not as easy as it sounds, handgun regulation being what it is. At any rate, I'm glad you got Ben the help he needed before he hurt himself badly.

MoonMama replied: Lots of continued P&PTs, I'm so gald he is getting the help he needs.

hawkshoe replied: As a parent, I cannot even imagine having to go through what you are going through. I think you did the right thing. There was no reason for him to have a gun. The thoughts of what he could have done with it are beyond scary. I sure hope he gets the help he needs.

my2monkeyboys replied: I know that had to be so hard on you and him both. Know you did the right thing, though, no matter how Ben feels about it right now. You are all in my prayers and thoughts. It will be a long, hard road, but I believe you all will make it with the right help.

msoulz replied: This must be very hard for you to share, and thank you for doing so. Who knows which of us will face something similar in the future, and you posting may just help us help our children. Thank you and please know there are more folks out here who care!! Your family will get through this. It is so good to know Ben is getting help.

jcc64 replied: I'm so sorry. I hope that your son gets the help he needs and finds his way back to a better state of mind.