Toddler Boy - No Fear

purple wrote: Hello All,

This is my first post. I am a father of an almost 3 year old boy. And now am sort of at a point where I just need some suggestions.

Our little man is very, VERY, energetic... like many toddlers of course but he has always enjoyed running across the room and then slamming into the furniture. (he sort of runs across the room and then dives head first onto the couch or into pillows on the couch) We never really saw too much of an issue with it though we discouraged it in our minds as much as possible, but now, I think it must stop as he is at risk of really hurting himself. He has twice now in the last couple of weeks put himself in a position where he is rolling over... straight over, on his head but with his head bent the wrong way... (back of head to back) not chin to chest. It happens because he is running and sliding or whatever but we are always too far away to stop it and in both cases he has gone right over. Tonight I am sure the back of his head touched his back....

I have decided based on thoughts and discussion that we are going to have to put a stop to it from our end with an element of fear, generally that he will have a time out or whatever but he does not have "fear" of hurting himself, but he does have the sort of "fear" of upsetting us, so we will have to use that to stop this sort of behavior before anything really bad happens.

Does anyone have similar issues and if so what strategies have been used to stop it.

Regards

Ron

A&A'smommy replied: well first of all welcome to PC Also its is VERY VERY slow here on weekends so you will more than likely get a LOT more replies tomorrow!!

I honestly have never had that problem but he is 3 years old now and dicipline needs to be used, warn him one time and if he does it again find a punishment and stick with it. Consistency is VERY important and ALWAYS follow through with your warnings. Good luck I hope you get that stopped soon I was cringing reading your post I can imagine you guys are worried about it.

Crystalina replied: I am brutally honest (maybe a bit too honest) with my kids. I tell them the truth. You can break your neck and it will kill you. That works for me. Yes, my son does this stuff all the time. It will take me telling him once or twice before he realized I mean business. The whole "it will kill you" thing doesn't work all the time with him because he has no clue at times I'm sure. Taking cartoons away from him seem to do the trick to get my point across.

msoulz replied: Hi purple:

While this may not help you, it sounds like my son was the very same as yours. He went from crawling to running at 9 months (not very skillfully at first of course!) and hasn't stopped since - he is now 10. My most recent gray hair came last night when he went roller blading at a local place with his school and finished a race in 2nd place behind a current hockey player, and my son hasn't skated in probably 2 years. He just has this "I can" attitude and no fear at all when it comes to his abilities. I am honestly shocked that he has never broken anything (knocking on wood between typing).

I tell you this because all of his running, jumping, and according to me putting himself in harm's way has made him into as good an athlete as you will see in a 10 year old. And that makes him feel so good about himself. So there may be some long-term benefits to his behavior. We really had no luck trying to stop him from attempting to climb the trees and jump off whatever he could get above ground on - turn your back for 30 seconds and he was off, and don't dare go to the bathroom!

I wish you lots of luck and i hope your boy gains some common sense before mine!

coasterqueen replied:
I don't have boys, but my girls have NO FEAR. I am brutally honest as well - you do that it's going to split your head open, you do this it will kill you, etc. That usually scares them enough not to try it again.

CantWait replied: Sorry, not the answer you're looking for, but:

Get use to it. He's a boy. This coming from a mom of two boys. My first was a bit more relaxed, but my now 5 year old is the same way, even still. There's no way of stopping it, he's doing his duty by making you worry. All you can do is continue to encourage to maybe not do that one paticular thing.

Crystalina replied:
MIL can't stand that I say stuff like that but my thought is why lie to them. I want them to no there are consequences to everything they do. You jump off a building your brains will come out of your head and mommy will be sad forever because you will be with God instead of being here with me.
It works.

coasterqueen replied:
Well, what else do you say that gets it through their heads? Um, dear, don't do that you might get a boo-boo and that wouldn't be good, would it? Wouldn't work in my house. Of course, when I tell them honestly what could happen, then I get a million questions, like "will my brains spill out", etc, etc.

A&A'smommy replied:
ROFL

I guess thinking about it my daughters only place of no fear is jumping on the bed where she did nearly break her neck (after TONS of discipline and talks about it) I finally told her that she could break her neck and die, sadly it only worked for a little while she started doing it again and the last time she jumped on the bed she almost broke her nose she hasn't done it since then

coasterqueen replied:
My husband's response would be, well if they break it once, they won't do it again. I agree with him to a certain extent of injury.

jakesmommy08 replied: My son will be 3 in may and he is the same way!!!!!!! usually he will continue to do it regardless of what we say, untill he herts himself. I would say that if you son isnt crying because he hert himself then i would say its ok........ Could you maybe put a coffee table or something in his way so he cant do it anymore??? do you have the space that you could invest in some tumble mats and tell him that running and flipping and gymnastics sould only be done on it??? just some ideas..........good luck.........boys will be boys!!!!!!!

redchief replied: Aside from the behavioral advice already given, which I agree with, the only other suggestion I can think of is perhaps you can rearrange the furniture to diminish opportunity? A table in front of the couch or maybe an area rug in front... anything that will take away some of his momentum. I'm all for the brutally honest approach as well.