Total vent

holley79 wrote: Ok a lot of people know that I work shift work. When I have a three day weekend I usually just take it easy and try and spend time with Annika and Shawn. Well last week we decided that this weekend (5/6/06) was going to be the only time we could do anything for Brandon. His birthday is on the 23rd but he is leaving on the 22nd. Shawn has training with the Navy on the weekend of the 20th and he can't reschedule because it's going to be the first time back in New Orleans since Katrina. Next weekend I am working so that's no good.

So anyways I spend all day Friday running from Wal Mart, to Sam's Club and to other odd and end places. Not to mention cleaning house. All this with Annika in tow. Thank goodness for my new sling. Well I get everything together. Shawn gets home from work and him, Annika, his co- worker and his family and I load up to go to dinner. It was great. We get home and we are off cleaning again.

Well I started cooking around 3. I was just pretty much doing finger foods but there was a lot of it. People started showing up around 5. About 20 people: Family and close family friends. Well around 7 I asked if anyone had seen Brandon. My mom said she saw him leave about 30 minutes ago with one of his friends. She thought they were going to the store for me or something so she didn't say anything. I called Brandon on the cell and he told me he got bored so they went to the pool hall. WTH??? I was ticked and told him to get his butt (I actually said the bad word version though) home. Everyone started leaving around 830 and some around 9. (Still no Brandon).

Well I put Annika to bed and Shawn and I went and sat on the front porch. I enjoyed my first glass of wine since Annika was born. Brandon finally graced us with his presence about 1030. I was furious. Shawn was really upset. Well Brandon started in that he's an adult and that he doesn't have to listen to a thing anyone says anymore, he can do as he pleases, and he's fixing ot go into the Army. He's old enough to serve this country and doesn't have to listen to us. (Oh Shawn was livid.) Shawn told him that from this point on, since he was an adult, that he wasn't going to get anymore parties. For Birthdays we would take him to dinner and a card, and since he was such an adult he could go to the store, get thank you cards and be sure they went out. Shawn also told him that since he was now an adult he was not obligated to buy him anything anymore. If he was over for his weekend that he could bring his own money because he was going to be responsible for any dinners that are eaten out and he was also going to be responsible for anything that was not an essiential Brandon threw a fit like a two year old and Shawn and I just looked at him.

Well Shawn sent him off to bed. We sat out of the front porch together and enjoyed each other. Needless to say, Brandon never said Thank you or anything. We won't be having anymore future parties from this point on.

If you are still reading this . I'm sorry this got to long. I was SO TICKED that I could have spit nails. You would think they would get more appreciative with age but Brandon expects everything to be done for him without anything in return. I expecting much. Just a "Thank you" and MAYBE a hug. Oh well not anymore. Hope everyone has a good night. Sorry about the Love you all.

1lilpeanut2love replied: I am so sorry to hear that! I would have been ticked off too! He might be going through a phase or something. He may just want to spend more time with friends then with family. He also might just be acting pretty much like a typical teen!!

ashtonsmama replied: I'm sorry Holley-sounds like he wasn't bein respectful at all of either of you, I'm sure it would tick me off too...sounds like you handled it well, actually. But I'm sorry he was so rude. And you put all that work into it too!

luvmykids replied: I'm sorry it was such a bummer, I would have been pretty mad too. Especially since he's leaving, it's not like it was just some random evening. But I'm glad you got to enjoy some wine and time with DH in spite of it.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I am sorry about his rude behaviour, and ungratefulness for what you and everyone had done for him. I hope he gets to see the big picture sooner than lter, that it is not acceptable. But I wish him well in boot camp, and basic. Maybe in his heart he was grateful, though.

OTOH, you two having a quiet time together was sweet. Glad you two had time to do so.

PrairieMom replied: I would have been LIVID! I think you handled it the right way. Maybe a little wake up call will help him see the light.

holley79 replied: Thank you everyone. I totally understand about him wanting to spend time with his friends. We would not have had a problem if he wanted to go off with his friends AFTER all the family left. Oh well. Maybe basic will teach him a thing or two. I'm sure that being away from home may just make him appreciate what he has here a little more. KWIM?

Anyway, Shawn and I did have a wonderful time together. He will be gone the weekend of the 20th so it will be the first weekend I have been off without him being home. Should be interesting.

gr33n3y3z replied:
That was a very nice thing you did for him

b&bsmom replied: Amazing when you tell them you are going to treat them like an adult and all the "benefits" of being an adult they don't want it anymore. I am sorry he was so rude but as others said you did get some queit time with dh. Hope he says thank you soon.

CantWait replied: I'm sorry everything turned out to be a flop. It's sad that he's thinking this way. I guess boys (and girls) need to grow up and learn. Hopefully he'll realize what he did and apoligize.

redchief replied: Holley, that was a very nice thing you did, and frankly, your and Shawn's reaction to his childish behavior was exemplary too.

I know you may not see this, but he will learn that adulthood doesn't mean, "I can do whatever I want." Brandon is feeling out his independent power and has yet to understand the consequences of life that come with it. His education will be swift, however, and I believe he'll adjust fine.

Good call on the "thank you" cards! I never would have thought of that. As he's writing out each one, he'll be reminded how he discarded their presence as inconsequential, and I believe he'll reconsider his position.

Leithan replied: Don’t worrie basic will whip him into shape, I know it did me; he will get a pretty big dose of reality real quick. The drills do a pretty good job of instilling respect and discipline into young boots. You can always do what my mother did and right his Drill Sergeant and ask him to give Brandon a little more attention. I went into basic thinking that I new everything, my parents were full of it, and I was the master of my own destiny, man was I wrong. Don't worry, just hold on for a bit longer and before you know it,you will have a polite, respectful young man, full of pleases and thank yous. Basic absolutely changed me as I am sure it will change Brandon, and it will all be for the better.

A&A'smommy replied: ooo man that was immature.. I hope he feels bad for treating ya'll that way!!!

holley79 replied:

Ed, you are very right. I told DH before he wasn't home to be sure to get "Thank You" cards. We are not going to provide him with them as I have done every year and pretty much done them myself so they get done.

He's an adult!! LOL

I love you all.

amymom replied: Holley I am impressed with how you both handled it. I am sorry you had to handle such rudeness etc. But I am very impressed with how you guys handled it. I need lessons from you guys!!!! It seems every converstion I have with my son is bickering!

Great job!

NEWMOM05 replied: Holley, sounds like he wasn't being an adult at all, but a big baby IMO. I would've been so mad. You handled it very good.

holley79 replied:

He gets it honest Peggy, from his mother. He's usually a lot better then that. I have been told it's typical teenage ways.

My3LilMonkeys replied:
ITA!!



Glad to hear you got some nice quiet time at least.