Tough situation - need advice from parents...

Kentuckychick wrote: I visit several blogs for the families from work and their children. One is a child who no longer attends our daycare but whose mom I still occasionally see and talk to and who is friends with other parents at the center.

Anyway... tonight I was looking at the newest pictures on their blog and I saw this one; (image cropped for privacy issues)



I have heard of retinoblastoma and know a family with a child who has it... I've seen red eye in photos and spots on children's eyes from the light, but never personally have I seen anything like that in a picture of someone I know. The family I know only found out their daughter had the tumor because of a white spot on a photo.

So I don't know what to do. On the one hand I could not say anything at all and something could be wrong and I'd never forgive myself. On the other hand, could anything bad really come out of sending a comment the mother (who I do know) just to make her aware of the risk? I mean I'd hate to freak her out if nothing's wrong, but if it were my child I'd be thankful someone cared enough to say something.

I guess what I mean to ask is, if you were a parent... would you want someone to say something to you?

cameragirl21 replied: I used to work for a retinoblastoma specialist back when I entertained fantasies of medical school and have seen plenty of cases of it and I'm afraid that IS what it looks like although that could be something else...but it pretty much always suggests some serious underlying eye problem.
Heck yes you should tell her. If not, it will spread to the other eye and render the child blind and if it goes beyond that then to the brain and that makes it fatal.
One way to tell is to shine light into the eye and see if the pupil appears white--it's called cat's eye reflex.
I'd rather alarm the mother for nothing then watch that child lose both eyes. Unless treatments have changed much since the 90s, if that is retinoblastoma, that eye is already history. Try to save the other one.

ZandersMama replied: i would yes definitely say something. and i would yes definitely want someone to say something. best case scenario she gets a scan and all is good.

Calimama replied: Heck yes I'd want someone to tell me. Wasn't there a story in the news like this awhile back? A lady was looking at a kids photo and noticed the kid had some sign of a disease? She saved the kids life by emailing the mom.

ETA: Here's the story I'm talking about
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26437081/

It's the exact thing you're talking about retinoblastoma.. How scary!

Kentuckychick replied: Thank you for the advice... I'm getting ready to send a message right now... I just don't even begin to know what to say or how to word things without completely scaring her...

HuskerMom replied: I agree, I would definetly tell her. I would definetly want someone to tell me.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I'd want someone to tell me too. If it turns out to be nothing then there's no harm done, but if there is something wrong I'd want to know!

mckayleesmom replied: Yes..I would say something. I remember a story like this on Montel where the little boy had actually died and they later found out that they had tons of pictures that gave it away and they could have caught it sooner if they had known to look for that. I always examine my kids photos since I saw that episode.

Kentuckychick replied: I just sent the message. Now I'm sitting here nearly shaking. I really hope it's nothing at all ... that I'm scaring them for absolutely nothing!

I just know that I would absolutely never forgive myself knowing what it could be if something were wrong and I didn't speak up.

Thanks for supporting me guys... what a tough thing to do!

cameragirl21 replied: just fyi, for those who may not know much about this, retinoblastoma is a rare childhood cancer. I have, unfortunately, seen more of this than I ever cared to. I have seen many kids and babies who had to lose both eyes and in some cases, where it spread to the brain because pediatricians (as well as everyone else) didn't detect it. The best way to detect it is through pics of this sort.
When eyes appear red in pictures, that is perfectly normal. In dark lighting, flash may be used and it captures the retinal pigment and underlying layers as they appear through a dilated pupil which makes the eye appear red. It's when the pupil looks white that there is a problem.
These days, even the simplest of cameras have red eye reduction whereby there are actually two flashes that are so close to each other (timewise) that the first is not detected but it serves to create enough light to contract the pupil so that it's not dilated and therefore it does not appear red in pics as the pic is actually taken on the second flash. So if your kids eyes don't apear red in pics, that is normal too, obviously. Red eye reduction has actually made it harder to detect retinoblastoma because of this effect of contracting the pupil.
The most common early ways of detecting retinoblastoma has been through pictures, along with the other things, such as slight change in eye color and the tendency for one eye (the affected eye) to cross, whereas the other eye doesn't.
It's a fast spreading cancer and needs to be attended to immediately. As far as my experience, the only treatment is removal of the affected eye and chemotherapy. Obviously, it's important to catch it before it spreads to the other eye.
Anyway, I only mention this because Rachel, in the OP, mentions seeing red eye in pictures and just wanted to say that that is totally normal and nothing at all to be alarmed about. If there is ever a white appearance or reflection, though, it's time to get things checked out.
Again, retinoblastoma is rare and not something to be alarmed about unless there is a reason.
I'll keep this child in my prayers
edited for typo

Kentuckychick replied:
I read where I wrote that again and I totally worded it funny. Thanks for clearing that up. I meant to say that I've seen your normal red eye and light spots tons of times but never that (ie; a white spot like that)... especially with the types of cameras used today.

I'm really keeping my fingers crossed that it's nothing at all... I just can't help having this sinking feeling.

She's not even two years old.

luvmykids replied: I'm glad you sent the message, I'd definitely want to know about something like that....and if I was scared for nothing and got my child checked, I'd be sooo relieved to get a clean bill of health that there's no way I'd be upset with you for bringing it to my attention.

Please kup!