UGH! Am i wrong?

mummy2girls wrote: Aron this morning was actually awake when i went to drop jenna off. Me and jennifer(his sister) and aron and jenna were sitting around and aron says to jenna you have a big belly! Your so chubby!!!!!!! I turned around and back handed him. I said to him to not say that to her! I tried explaining to him that I grew up with my mom and dad throwing me hints that i should lose weight! They didnt actually tell me i was fat but just give me mags that have weight loss on the front, tell me to not jump or ill break the couch or stairs, etc etc etc. And i grew up with such a low self esteem! It didnt bother me as much when my friends say things because we always joked around with each other and we knew we would never mean it. But to hear it from your own mom and dad was devastating! And because of that i always think im fat and need to lose weight! I dont want jenna growing up with that! And he just doesnt get it. I told him that if he feels she is overweight to pull me aside where we are ear shot away from jenna and tell me ...or call me on the phone and tell me. But he just turned around and said whatever shelly and called jenna chubby again!

I told him that she is not overweight because she is 2 years old and she still is in 12 months to 18 months pants because her waist is so small. and that she is not in 2 year old clothes at all unless its shirts. the clothes tyhat she got last year for her birthday(pants) are still too big around her waist. Now tell me guys this...is that fat?

kileyjae replied: You backhanded your husband? In front of your child? And his sister?

I can understand why you would feel a bit sensitive to the weight thing...but, I would always tell DD that she was such a 'chunk' when loving on her.

She out grew her 'chunkiness' and is now 19, tall, and thin, but, eats like crazy. She got all the good metabolism.

I may be a bit baised tho, coming from a previous marriage that was abusive. No one hits me and I hit no one.

mummy2girls replied:
no i didnt back hand my husband in front of my child.. I know not to do that! Because it teaches the wrong lesson... And im single he isnt my husband..he is my lazy ex.

She left the room when he said thsi to her and she was no where near me. And his siter almost did the same to him but i beat her to the punch pretty much!

And he is mean when it comes to her..he tells her she is fat! And tells her she is not as smart as her cousin, that she will be behind her cousin and pretty much thinks she is dumb because she cant speak in sentences...

mammag replied: No, Jenna definitely does not soud "fat". I think you are right. I know first hand what comments from parents can do to your self esteem.

momof3inmo replied: Sounds to me like he is the one that has problems not your little girl

kileyjae replied: Ok..sorry..still new and trying to keep up with names, relationships and who is with which poster!

Glad to hear you didn't smack him with DD in the room. Good for you on that one!

And, an EX...ok..complete understand now.

momof2girls replied: Shelly
Dont be offended by my question please but does he ever do anything good? Im serious, he sounds like such a jerk!!!

I dont agree with saying things like that to a child, even jokingly. Especially at 2 yrs old.

I think you need to do more than backhand him, my gosh he just sounds like a total *^@@$%$%

Mommy2BAK replied: Oh Shelly~ He is a jerk! And Jenna is so totally adorable!!!! She is no where near being fat or chubby. She is precious, and I would be upset about that comment if I were you as well!

loveydad replied: I'd be pissed too. Backhand him again.

Mommy2Be replied: OMG what a jerk I would be pissed too you are right what is wrong with him ! Jenna is a very beautiful little girl and is in know way or form fat . Obviously Aron had taken a leave of his senses I agree backhand him again!

TLCDad replied: What a jerk. It would be different if he was saying it while being loving and such.

Just curious are you still friends with his parents? Let them know your not happy with the things he says to his daughter. Maybe they can help talk some common sense into him.

Kaitlin'smom replied: okay I am gonna come smack him myself...how utterly rude. Sorry if this is mean but if I remeber in pic she is not so skinny either maybe comments about his weight might shut him or, or maybe not.

Jenna is beautiful (deffinatly gets her looks from mommy ) she is NOT fat she is 2 and if she did not have a belly now that would mean she was unhealthy.

You were right in telling him not a good thing to say, there is enougth pressure in todays world to be skinny, we dont need added pressure from our own parents.

Next time he says anything so mean tell him either you look for the positives or your not going to be seeing her much, and leave. JMO

ctymom replied: Is he out to purposely crush her self-esteem? I mean really.... a person cant be THAT stupid to be saying stuff like that thinking anything good would come of it.

THat is truly horrible. Many eating disorders and low self-esteems are developed by passing comments like that. That is mental abuse and I personally think that he is not safe to be around. A kid just doesnt forget stuff like that.

Pamela

MomofJandB replied: My daughter has always had a belly. She was a toothpick as a toddler, but still had the belly! It's part of her shape. Now that she is 8, we try to encourage her to eat healthy, not talk to her about weight. Shame on him for saying that!!! You were right in "reprimanding" him about it! Someone has to teach him the parenting skills he lacks, especially if he's going to be around her. It can be so devastating to kids to hear things like that! I sure hope he grows up and stops these comments! Stick to your guns with him! You're doing everything right!

kimberley replied: i have said it before, i will say it again, Aron is an idiot!

I agree with momof2girls, you need to think about doing more than backhanding him. i completely understand that you don't want to take her dad away from her (going thru similar ex issues) but he is an emotional abuser. he has done it to you for years Shelly and now he is doing it to Jenna. you have to put an end to it. the guy sleeps all day, doesn't care for his daughter, tries to get you in the sack and is constantly putting you and Jenna down to bring himself up. it is wrong and it needs to stop. i am sorry if this sounds harsh, but i care about you both and hate to see this happening as often as it does. P&PT your way!

A&A'smommy replied: He definitly deserved to be smacked!!! I wish I knew what to tell you to do about him the only thing good he has ever done for you is give you that beautiful little girl and NO she is NOT fat!! I can't believe anyone can be SO mean to someone as sweet as her... I think he has self esteem problems!

ediep replied:
I completely agree with Di! Well said!!!!

Alice replied:
I agree totally. I'm really not sure that a bad dad is better than no dad at all. If you don't mind me asking, exactly what positives are you and Jenna getting from continuing to have Aron in your lives???

And, for what it's worth: Kira will be 2 in 2 weeks. She's a size 24m/2T. And no one has EVER called her chubby!

You're a great mom and a great person Shelly. Lose Aron and find yourself the kind of guy you deserve.

aspenblue1 replied: ITA with everyone that is RUDE!!!!! I hate when people make comments like that. I would have hit him also.

mummy2girls replied:
yes I am stillf riends with his mom and sister. they were in the room when he said it. and his mom got really mad and said that she really HATES it when he says that to her. and his sister was going to back hand him but i beat him to the punch!

mummy2girls replied:
Its not harsh kim... I agree with every word! I just find it very agravatting. His sister even said to him that she grew up thinking she was fat and had bulimia and aneroxia as a teenager. So she knows what a person goes through when it comes to that! So she stepped in and started to lecture him about what he says!

mom89 replied: Ugh. Jerk!!!!!!! A 2yo is NOT fat! My almost 2yo also has a belly and I think its cute!!
I'm glad you smacked him. serves him right.

coasterqueen replied: Okay, I won't say all the things I'd want to so I will just agree with everyone else and say NO she's not fat. Grrrrrr. Aron!

My2Beauties replied: Ok Hanna is 14 months old and wears 24 months and they are almost tight on her, she weighs 27 lbs already but do I say Hanna you're fat.....noooooooooo! People already know Hanna is a little above average but we're talking about babies here, those little hamhock legs are the cutest, and by all means Jenna is nowhere near fat, I have seen her pics! Oh yeah and if you ask me Aron is a little on the "chunky" side himself!!!!! What a *(&(*& *expletive, expletive* UGH!

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
I couldn't have said it better myself. I cannot stand that man!!!