UH-OH gonna be a weird one

J-rod wrote: ok long story short...we havent told our parents yet...waiting till the chances of a miscarage is minimal....and we were gonna send them U/S pics.....well her mom found out....asked her this morning and she said yes. well her mom asked before she saw her mamaw, cause her mamaw has had 8 kids and she'd know....

so she is scared of what they are gonna say/do....and she is trying to make me too.....but i have to not be for her....


WTF!

anyways keep us in thoughts and prayers if you would....gonna be an awkward weekend.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Good luck! Most importantly the two of you must be on top of the world with this PG, so continue to be happy, even if you may not get approval/disappointment from anyone (that is what I got out of your post-- sorry if that is incorrect)

BEST WISHES!!

Bee_Kay replied: ITA with Nicole.

My dh and I had some people in our families that didn't "approve"... we just had the "GTH" attitude because we didn't (and never have) depended on anyone for the care and upbringing of our children.

You both continue to be happy!! Chin up and enjoy it!!!

J-rod replied: its hard right now to stay happy and positive cause she is very afraid of what they will say/do. she was in the process of finally moving into our house completely and now i dunno.....whats gonna happen.

im taking a 1/2 day today to go meet her for lunch and try to get this resolved asap. we were gonna take her mom to lunch today but she was busy and couldnt make it...woulda been a perfect time to discuss this.

EvesMom replied: As long as you are happy, that's all you have to worry about. I would worry about what others think.
It's funny how moms always know. My mother new before I was 1 month along. She was

luvbug00 replied: Don't worry everyone no matter what you 2 should be happy and if they are grumpy then fine but onece that baby is born most parents MELT! SO just be happy and no worries!

BTW you should've seen my parents

Kated replied: Well that is nuts. Not sure what to say.

I agree you should both be happy with the PG!

I wish you both luck with what ever happens. Just think Happy thoughts even though it may be hard at times!

Bee_Kay replied: Well, this baby is coming no matter what anyone says, or how they feel.

That is how it is with my SD.

I am not happy about her being pregnant. I am actually pretty dissapointed.... AND even more upset about her behavior towards us (long story)

BUT, I realize that this baby is coming no matter how we feel about it.

It's kinda cute, when I first found out, my DH was on a business trip. So, unfortunately, that is when he found out she was pregnant.
He was so upset OMG!!

His co-workers just gave him a "knowing" smile and said "It will all change once you see your grandchild". ( a couple of them had been through it themselves)

Hopefully, you both will get through this with no real problems. I understand the aprehension and nervousness. But, as the saying goes "This too shall pass"

C&K*s Mommie replied: We did not have anything but joy when we were PG the first time, so I cannot say that I have been in her shoes. The second time was a little different, we got the 'you have committed a carnal sin!' attitude and looks mostly from complete strangers, but a little from family, since I our girls would be close in age (they are exactly 17mos apart). That hurt more times than not in the beginning, but I could not have been more happy (and I still am) about having our children so close in age. Like Barb eventually I put up a wall, and had the GTH attitude when conversation shifted to our children being so close together.

They cannot do anything, in reality, nothing. They may say hurtful things but this is a child out of love, and plenty of it from you two & everyone else who will love him/her. Those people may eventually come around, but until then- stay strong.

J-rod replied: just dont want to be alone. her family is the only family we have around..cause mine is 1.5 hrs away. this is a reason i made sure i turned down the job in MB SC. 3x the money here....but family is here and thats the most important priority to me and my life.

C&K*s Mommie replied: you guys, would not be alone. As Barb said, attitudes/thoughts will change once her side of the family (anyone that has apprehension about this PG) willl have changes once the baby arrives.

Bee_Kay replied: Family can be really funny at times.... Lord knows I've been there with family.

You can fight, argue, not talk, ect.

But, when it comes right down to it, when that baby comes into this world, any negative feelings will be washed away

J-rod replied:
i know that...but we got 4.5 months till that.....we are gonna need help/support betwen now and then

im a mess right now....WTF can i do to make things better/easier. she is scared and im afraid we will not have any support.... im pretty sure my mom will be supportive but she is 1.5 hrs away.... my dad, i dunno we dont have a really good relationship anyways...

C&K*s Mommie replied: Continue to be the best father and SO that you are being for her. Continue to give her the support that she needs, and the arms to come into when she needs it.

Bee_Kay replied: OK, I'll go a little deeper.

When we first got pregnant, we were thrilled!!! My family was very happy.... DH mom (who is a real whackjob) was the negative one. I was so hurt.... BUT, we just put her aside. We realized that she was not the focus of our pregnancy, and we continued to have a wonderful pregnancy.

I really do understand your fear. You may have to learn how to be each others sole support. It will, most definately, bring the two of you closer together.

Leave the choice up to them. Try to not dwell on it. If they cannot bring themselves to participate in this wonderul event, the to heck with them. It really is their loss.

try your best to be happy.... all of us here at PC know you are thrilled about this .... and seriously, if nothing else..... you have a WONDERUL support system RIGHT HERE!!

luvmykids replied: I promise, they'll come around even before baby arrives. DH and I found out we were pg 3 months before we got married, went over like a lead balloon since my dad is a pastor! They were very disappointed at first but within a week my mom was buying baby stuff and it just got better from there.

Good luck, but everything will be great!

J-rod replied:
i hope that will happen here.... im soo nervous right now how to approach them now.

Mommy2Isabella replied: Sal's mom wasn't to thrilled. My parents on the other hand were stoked. We got pregnant, a year and some months before our planned marriage.

Sal's mom continually told us, we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into. We were too young. Blah blah blah!

Well, now with only 4.5 months to go, Same as your SO, she asks how I am doing and what not. Though Sal and I both have a problem with holding grudges ... we have to give her credit for tryin even though she doubted us in the beginning!

Keep your head up!

luvmykids replied: Also, I think a lot of times the girls family may react out of worry and concern, even though it comes across like anger, etc. My dad really hit the roof and totally drilled Jeff, it sounded bad but was with good intentions, kwim? I'm his only daughter, pg, not married yet, what if the guy bailed, etc. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt.

J-rod replied: im really worried about her dad...i kinda like my face the way it is. she is the older of 2 daughters...we have a wedding date...they dont know thaat yet cause she is afraid to tell them....i cant take alll the secrets anymore...i told her last night we have to make things better/happier.

J-rod replied: well wasnt as bad as i thought...they were mainly mad we didnt tell them sooner....but they are "kinda happy" as happy as they can be right now i guess...they just want us to talk with them. her mom is planning the shower already...my mom hasnt shut up since i tolde her. lol


so long story short (cause im supposed to be working hard right now) they are ok and just concerned for us....and want to help more and have been told sooner..... im buying dinner tonight and we are going to talk...also got to plan the wedding......

AlexsPajamaMama replied: When we found out I was pregnant with DS I was soo scared to tell my dad.
I got a bib that said I love my Grampa and a card that I wrote I was not looking for his approval and I hoped he could be happy for us and sent it to him in the mail. Much to my suprise he was so very excited and thought I was silly for not just telling him.
At the time we were in the middle of planning our wedding, which we kept the date the same and got married when DS was 2 monthes old.

So, even when you think that some people will be dissapointed and not approving...you could be surpised.

Just enjoy this happy time of expecting your child and try not to care what others think. I know its easier said than done.

b&bsmom replied: All you can do is take it a day at a time. Just have a good attitude toward things and hope for the best. Things always work out it just takes time. Will keep you in my P& PT's . Hope all works out and you get to hold your healthy happy baby.

luvmykids replied: I'm so glad to hear it, I knew it wasn't going to be too bad, only because I've seen grandparents-to-be-in-action! Now the real flurry of activity can begin!

ashtonsmama replied: I'm a little lost, not sure what happened, but I am guessing from that that your mom found out you were PG?!?
Looks like everyone else got it except for me, sorry!
It's too early for me to think and comprehend....

Good luck anyways!

AlexsPajamaMama replied: AWwwww Great!! Congrats on them being "kinda happy"

J-rod replied: yep so far its ok. things a little different between me and her dad...but he's cool with it. he keeps rubbing her belly and smiling. my mom wont stop talking about it and the phones are ringing like crazy everyone calling each other and us, etc.


i like it.