Update on Ben

Iluvmyboys wrote: Well his 5 day school suspension is over tomorrow! He goes back on Thursday. They took off 2 days since he went into counseling. From what I know he's already missed 3 tests and some homework assigements that will hurt his already failing grades I just hope he graduates next month. He quit his job last Friday he said he couldnt put up with it anymore and I was pretty p*ssed he did that without even talking to me first But at least that will get him away from Mario (the kid who sold him the pills) Hes quiting everything, Im surprised he hasnt quit school yet... he better not! He started counseling yesterday and the counselor didnt get to far with him since he didnt want to talk. But he goes back again tomorrow so maybe they'll get somewhere. They were very worried because he had so many pills on him that day and didnt think twice about taking them in the middle of the school day. They asked him again why he had so many and if he had the chance would he take them all in one shot and again he said maybe They explained to him how dangerous those pills are and how taking them all can result in dealth and he simply said yeah I know. Then they asked why did he throw a dumbell at the TV the other day and he responded because I felt like beating the sh*t out of something. But other then that he said nothing! They did bring up Squishy and asked him about her and that he really must miss her. He didnt want to go there. He has a lot of anger/sadness that he keeps bottled up. Of coarse Gregs no help, today I overheard him say to Ben Why dont you just be a man and get over it?!

sparkys2boys replied: Im so sorry that it doens t seem to be going anywhere. But it will, it's gong to take time though. Try to be postive and keep and open mind wth im and keep communcating.

amymom replied:

CantWait replied: Hopefully in time the counsellor will help. Greg definetly isn't helping.

MommyToAshley replied: This has to be rough on you to witness and proccess all of this. It may seem like nothing has changed, but give the counseling some time to work. Hang in there. Maybe you could talk to Ben as well.. he may not understand how his remarks affects his brother's recovery. Maybe a family counseling session would help?

lovemy2 replied: Keep encouraging him to go back - it is quite apparent he needs it but remember he has to WANT to do it for it to work - it is kind of like an alcoholic - or quitting smoking - they have to be ready for it to really work.....

Iluvmyboys replied: Thanks for your post and prayers guys! He had an apointment again this morning and they got a little further I guess. Not much though and I still feel like its going no where I dont like to ask him to much about what they ask him. I just take him to his appointment and wait in the waiting room. Thats the part kills me. But I did find out he was one of the first to know about Squishys eating disorder and he feels guilty for not telling anyone about it. He was planing on asking her to prom which is comming up this weekend. He talked about how actually saw her abuse prescription diet pills, pass out from not eating, take laxatives, take some sort of drug that you can get at the store that forces you to throw up (I never heard of this!) complain of heart palpitations and even had a diet buddy (who also has an eating disorder) She made him promise not to tell anyone about her behavior and he never did. So I guess he feels her death is her fault or something like that. I really cant say since he wont talk to much about it with me. After the appointment he wanted to go see where Squishy was burried since he hasnt been since the day of the funeral. I stayed in the car while he visited with her. He goes back to school tomorrow which should be pretty interesting. I just hope he gets through the day.

Danalana replied:

redchief replied: Ben seems like a young man with a very guilty conscience. Don't let him quit the counseling. It seems to me that he may harbor enough anger towards himself to harm himself. Eventually Ben will have to come to understand that it really didn't matter what he knew or didn't know about Squishy's eating disorder. She was as committed to it as any fanatic is to a religion. He could have told and it wouldn't have mattered. He could have tried any intervention that would come to mind and she would have found a way to circumvent it. I'll keep you all in my prayers.

Calimama replied:
I agree completely.

You're family is in my prayers hun.

amymom replied: prayers continue

lisar replied: I hope the counsling will start to work for him.

Iluvmyboys replied:
Thats exactly what I freak out about every minute!!! I mean he has so much alone time here at the house, hes home from school at 11:30 and no one else gets home till at least 3. Sometimes I call him from work during the day and usually hes sleeping or just sitting around as he says. Then sometimes he goes for a drive around the city by himself and I wonder what hes doing then. I dont know maybe Im just being paranoid, but Im always afraid he might be planning something or doing drugs again since he has the house to himself all day and has been so angry and depressed. The counsellor did warn that he might try to harm himself and that I should call emergancy right away if he shows any signs or even mentions something about it. Wow... I dont know what I would do if that situation came up. I cant even imagine