Update on work/friend vent

amynicole21 wrote: Well, I finally gathered up enough nerve to go to my boss and discuss the problem of not being allowed to go to the work conference. I started out good enough, then hormones and whatever got the best of me and, in true Amy form, I started to cry. I'm so pissed at myself.

I told her that I felt I was being punished for something and that I had good reason to go to the conference. Her response was that, being a mom herself, she thought she was doing me a favor by letting me stay home Total B.S. by the way. But she said if it was creating an issue, she would do what she needed to do to fix it. So, I'm back on the schedule to attend.

One thing that REALLY ticked me off was that apparently she knew all about my complaints before I even went to her. Another of my so-called friends in the department (not the original back-stabber) had told her I was upset and that I felt the one guy was trying to steal my job. My boss chastised me for not coming to her first about any complaints. Well, honestly, it didn't do any good when I told her originally, and who is she to tell me who I can't discuss these issues with? She also reassured me that my job was not in jeopardy and that she really appreciated all that I do.

I guess now I've learned the hard way that I can't trust a single other person in my department as they are all backstabbers. This makes me really sad, and honestly doesn't give me much incentive to want to do a great job for the "team."

Anyway, I'm glad I got it off of my chest, even though I felt like a fool for crying and learned that my trust had been betrayed yet again. Oh how I wish I could just hand in my resignation.

momof2girls replied: Awww Amy I am sooo sorry
I have learned that its very hard to trust ANYONE in a work situation, I try to keep that seperate from my personal life, like you I learned this the hard way.
i work with alot of great people, and get along and talk to people but never confide in them.

TRY TRY TRY not to let it bother you, do your job and then go home...

kit_kats_mom replied: I'm glad that you got a chance to talk to her and that you will be able to attend the conference but I can't believe that she didn't just come to you before she made the assumption that you wouldn't want to go.

I'm hoping, for your sake, that you are able to find a way to quit. Even if it's not to be a SAHM. I know that your current job doesn't fit you very well anyway. Maybe try finding a headhunter while you are on maternity leave. I'm sure that with 8 years at the same company, as a buyer, another company with views that are more in line with yours will probably snap you right up.

coasterqueen replied: I'm glad you went to your boss and told her how you feel and that you get to attend the conference now. I am sorry though that she was that way with you...grrrr... and that you can't trust anyone in your department .

That was one of the reasons I left "big" business setting and traded it for the small 3 or 4 person office...less stress to deal with when it comes to co-workers.

Boys r us replied: I'm glad you got to get this off of your chest though!!! You NEEDED to have this talk with your boss. I'm glad you accomplished what you were needing to at least, even if you didn't come out feeling good about your job, at least you're now going to the conference!
I agree, it's hard to be a team player when the rest of the team sux! Trust me I know!

(((hugs)))

MomToMany replied: I'm so sorry you are going through that. How awfully mean of people to do that to you! When I was working, I got PG with Hannah. I was planning on telling my department Manager in my own good time. Well, this other lady in the department I used to work in (where DH is the shift lead) told her ! The lady was supposedly a friend of mine, but it really ticked me off!

ITA with what Cary said. I hope you can find some way to find a better job, where they will appreciate you.

jcc64 replied: Glad you dealt with the problem head on. It sucks to cry in a work setting, but hey, you're human and pg (you really didn't stand a chance).
You did all you could with the situation. From this point on, watch your back, which is obviously not a great way to spend a large portion of your waking hours. I'm with Cary, use your maternity leave to put some feelers out.

favre4fan replied: I am glad u got to have a talk with your boss. I had someone in my office whine about how they were my friend but come to find out they were definately not. Its sad but I try to keep to myself now, I am cordial and i engage in conversation but I keep it to a minimum. it sometimes feels like I am in high school again!! One of my closest friends used to work here and we actually became very close after she left, she knows how it is around here!!

Kaitlin'smom replied: glad you talked with your boss, sounds like your co-workers are gossip people. Sad, sorry you have to deal with them.

maybe its time to look around

DansMom replied: I'm glad you dealt with this head-on too. I hate crying in the workplace too---it's happened to me, and yuck! I work in a generally supportive, family-like place, and yet I've learned the hard way more than once not to confide in anyone about serious issues in my life or my difficulties with certain people at work. I have NEVER had anyone at work keep my confidence. I've always regretted such confidences. I still feel these people really are "friends" that I've known for a long time, and I socialize with some of them, but there is something about workplace politics that brings out the worst in people.

Bottom line---you're going to the conference, and you made your case effectively.

A&A'smommy replied: aww Amy I'm so sorry! That would make ANYONE want to cry AND quite!!! ((((BIG HUGS)))) are you glad that you get to go to the conference?

Alice replied: Pregnant or not, I cry when I'm stressed. Then I get annoyed and it makes me want to cry more But-- hey, it's cheaper than therapy.

The good news, aside from the fact that you can attend the conferance, is that your boss now knows NOT to trust the info coming from your former friend. NOt only is he a gossip, but his info is wrong!! So his credibility took a huge hit. Guess who's crying now??

kimberley replied: i am sorry that yet another coworker betrayed your confidence. that really stinks. ((((big hugs)))) i would have cried too. i am glad you are back on the roster and that your job is safe. hope things get better soon.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Don't feel silly for crying! I've done it, too. We all hate being there, but after all, we are women.

Your boss sounds like a witch. You did go to her first and you are right she has no right to tell you who to confide in! I'm glad you get to go to the conference after all. I learned the hard way not to trust anyone I work with. It really sucks to be stuck with people all day when you aren't able to have a decent relationship with them. I once had that feeling that everyone was out to get me (as a matter of fact it was when I found out I was pg with Maddie Go figure!)

I agree that you should get a headhunter while on maternity leave.

MommyToAshley replied: I just read your other post. I am sorry that your co-workers treated you in such a way. I also learned the hard way (when I worked for a company) not to confide in co-workers, despite being friends.

I am glad you stood up for yourself and are going to the conference! Good for you!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Oh Amy that's just terrible to be backstabbed again! Don't feel like a fool, hormones just got the better of you, but you did do the right thing! I'm glad you are going on the trip.

Josie83 replied: I'm sorry people are being so horrible to you and that you were upset enough to cry. Don't let them get the better of you, you're better thna all of them put together xx