Vent about Db

MyBabeMaddie wrote: I'm so mad - Everyone has been yellin' at me to get a job blah blah blah - Adam is paying for everything including MY car, my car insurance and My gas - His license got suspended last year for too many tickets and so he let his car get repoed- DUMB***! So I have to take him and pick him up from work everyday which is getting SOOO annoying especially having to drag the baby with me in the cold. I ran into my old boss (I was a manager at Panera Bread for a while) and she offered me my old job back!! I thought db would be so excited that I will be able to help out with the bills and pay for my own bills and stuff - I would work PT only 30hours a week so my schedule would be M-F 9-3pm which is good cause Adam doesn't leave for work til 1 and Madison would only have to be with a babysitter for 2 hours - My grandma is in good health and good shape and she offered to watch Maddie but Adam is FLIPPING out!! Hes like I don't want her to be with your grandma i dont want Madison to be spending time with people other then her parents! WTH!!!???? I'm like Adam you're such a stubborn idiot because when I go back to school in January she'll be in daycare for 8 hours a day M-F!!!! Its like nothing I do is good enough!! He wants me to get a job working overnight! Thats bad because I'd want to sleep all day and what would I do with the baby then! Its like a lose-lose situation for me! Plus Adams Jewish but we agreed on raising Madison Christian so I want to be able to get her some Xmas presents to put under the tree this year (not like she'll even remember but its just the point) I don't want to ask him to splurge on XMas gifts for her when he isn't even into Christmas! Sorry I was trying to call my mom to b*tch to her but shes not answering her phone so you guys are stuck with my ramblings! lol

If you got through my complaint THANKS!!!

~Roo'sMama~ replied: Sorry he's being difficult - 2 hours a day with your grandma doesn't sound bad to me at all - in fact it sounds like a perfect arrangement! If anything he should be glad that she's going to be with family all day!

Does he realize that if you got a night job you'd be sleeping during the day and he'd be watching the baby? Also a little warning... working nights is really rough on your body. Both Dh and I were working nights when we first got married and it definitely takes a toll. And having one of you working nights and the other days is hard too - when Dh switched to days and I was still on nights it was hard on our relationship.

Good luck getting something figured out!

MyBabeMaddie replied: Thanks Sara, I don't think he realizes that I need to sleep too! It just frustrates me that he complains about paying my bills for me but when I try and get a job to take over paying for my own things again he complains too!!! I have been cleaning my neighbors house ever thursday - I go over around 9am and I'm done by 10am - It's really easy money and $60 for one hour is pretty darn good! But he complains about me going over there because he's trying to sleep and he might have to wake up and give Madison a bottle! urrggggggghhhh!!!! He works 2-10pm everyday and I understand hes wide awake when he gets home and doesn't want to go straight to bed but its like don't stay up until 3am!! He stays up late and sleeps in til noon everyday! I wish he would just go to bed by midnight and wake up at 10am! GRrrrr!

MyLuvBugs replied: WOW Sweetie! Sounds like he's being a little silly. And by silly I mean Stupid idiot. He should be thrilled that grandma is willing to watch little girl for 2 hours a day. That saves you both TONS of money! And you're right! Why can't he just come home and do a little relaxation and go to bed, so that he can take on some of the responsibilities of watching HIS child? Maybe he's a little scared to be with and take care of Maddy? My DH is like that sometimes. And then I just remind him that this kid isnt' just MY responsibility.

I hope you two and talk about it somemore and work things out though. Feel free to vent and ramble anytime!

mom2my2cuties replied: Ok - this is going to sound really harsh - but tell him to grow the frick frack up! (And you can tell him Tish said so )


First off - He is getting the use of your car, he should be paying the payment. You guys while not married are a family unit and if he doesn't like that, then I would say "Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya" When you are home all day taking care of the house, the baby, everything else, you are working full time too! And the money he is bringing home is NOT his money only - it is FAMILY money!

Second - I would give your daughter a Christmas no matter what he says. If you guys don't share beliefs that is fine, but what you both agreed upon is what should be honored.

Third - I think as moms, it is important for us to have lives outside of our children and family. Not like living a full seperate life, but one that is ours. Because we were women before wives/girlfriends and also before we were moms. And as humans, we need things for ourself.

Fourth - I think some of the husbands/boyfriends on this board need a good swift kick in the seat of thier pants. Because it seems like a lot of them treat thier wife/girlfriend as if they don't have any responsibility where that child is concerned and that needs to change quickly. Because raising a child was NOT meant to be a solo job!

I will get off my now

gr33n3y3z replied: I would take the job and he will have to get over it!!

Cece00 replied: You arent married to him- do what you want to do. You need to be independent & live your life, esp since he isnt acting much like a good partner or father.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Take the job, if he wants to be immature about it and pout so be it.

I say take the job, if not only to help with finances, but to expose yourself to more adult interaction. If your GMa will be thrilled to have Maddie, let her take care of her for a couple of hours. He will get over it soon enough.

CantWait replied: Tish said it pretty right on. I'll add thought, that because you're not married, and he's obviously not making that committment and being childish that you need to do what is right for YOURSELF and MADISON. Sounds like he wants it to be his way or no way, sorry but he can't live on both sides of the fence.

Calimama replied:
I agree with her completely.

my2monkeyboys replied: I have to say I agree with what has been said here. Either the money he earns should be family money, or you should take the job you want and can make work for the best for you and Madison. I hope things get better soon... it's such a hard thing to adjust to having a baby without the other crap that is going on, as it is.

mckayleesmom replied: Im sorry...but I would pack my baby and myself up and leave....Tell him to call you when he grows a brain and matures a little. He sounds like he wants everything to be easy street for him and expects you to provide that for him.