WOHM - Missing out...

six_kids_at_28 wrote: I was just looking through my kids baby books..and I relized how hard it has been being a WOHM ....I have taken maternity leave but when my kids are 2- 2 1/2 months they go to daycare...Now they are in school and the triplets are with their aunty so I don't feel as bad

But like..I was looking through at all the things I've missed. For example, I missed James, Ashley, Star, and Kevin's first steps because I've been at work I missed Ashley's first bite of solid food...Star's first time going potty in the toilet..

Just simple things like that but moments you should remember...I think the hardest one is that I missed Star's first WORD

She was at daycare and said "cookie" But..I feel so left out


I really needed to work all this time..and still do now..just am kinda feeling low right now and a bad parent All you moms are so great and get to be at home for all those memories..you didn't have to send your 2 month old to daycare from 7:30-4:30-

Thanks for letting me vent

my2monkeyboys replied: Needing to work should never make you feel like a bad mom... you love your children just as much as those who stay home do. I'm sure it's hard knowing you missed those things, but you would no doubt feel worse if they had not had food to eat, or a roof over their heads. Just think about the great stuff you were there to see... I'm sure there are lots of those memories if you take the time to remember them.

b&bsmom replied: Please don't feel bad. You are a great mother who does what she has to to meet her kids needs. I am a child care provider and I feel as if I never fit in with anyone because I stay at home but I work at home waching kids so I don't quite have the luxuries of sahm. Even though I am here I miss some of the first things to and to be perfectly honest I don't really remember my childrens first words and things like that. I feel like my children have missed out a little because they have never really had just me. My dd doesn't know what it is like to be an only child ( when she was) because I took care of other children from the time she was 3months old. With my ds I started watching again after 3 weeks. Everything has pros and cons. My motto is it is not quanity of time but quality of time. Hope that helps you a little. You are a great mom in all you do so don't worry to much about it.

six_kids_at_28 replied: Thanks for reading that and for your kind thoughts

Debra replied: I agree with the others! You are doing a wonderful job. You are helping provide for their well being & that is an awesome thing! Don't be so blue, ok?!

six_kids_at_28 replied:
Well let me tell you that smiley cheered me up

I don't know what I would do without you ladies!! And DH says I spend too much time online I get sad..post a topic and in 15 minutes have 3 replies...

My3LilMonkeys replied: Don't feel bad for supporting your family!!!! You should be proud to be out there earning the $$ and taking care of all of those beautiful little children. They will grow up to remember you as a mommy who did everything she could to take good care of them - that is what will be important to them.


I'm sorry that you've missed so many milestones. I'm sure that must be difficult - but think about all the ones you were there for and be glad that you were able to see them.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I cannot in any way trump what the other ladies have said, Samantha. But you are an incredible mother anyhow-- when it comes out in the wash when your kids are older & are able to reflect back on these younger years-- there will be no doubt that you loved them & helped to provide a stable and loving home for them to grow. Regardless of whether you were out of the home working. You were "there" for them at the end of the day. Besides with six kids in one house, you are to commended just for still having your sanity!

coasterqueen replied: Can I ask you a question? Why do you think you missed their firsts? I say that because when YOU see them do these things they are a "first" right? I have the most awesome sitter because she won't tell me when the girls did things for the first time. Because she knows within a day or less I'll see it and then I always come back to her and say "Kylie did this, can you beleive it?!". She'll go yeah, that's great or something to that effect, but I know that she probably did it there as well before I saw it. It doesn't bother me as much because she gives me that opportunity to "see" it first myself.

You are doing a wonderful job as a mother. Not all of us are blessed with the ability to stay at home. So we have to do what we have to do, and that's work. While I'm sad that I can't SAH with my children, I also know that I'm providing for them and that's important. My girls will know one day why I had to do what I did and they won't hate me. I didn't hate my mother for having to work. I knew she had to and it wasn't her fault. I guess I could have been a crab and hated the fact I didn't grow up in a rich family or that my family didn't sacrifice everything they had so that my mom could SAH, but I wasn't, never once.

Just know you are doing what you have to for your children, and that doesn't make you a bad mother at all.

Boys r us replied: I agree with Karen!! you're not a bad mom b/c you work to provide for your family!

I work also and sure there are days that I miss my boys, but in all honesty, I think that me working not only helps provide for them and gives them the ability to have all of the things they want and need, but it helps me be a better mom when I am with them..you know, the old absence makes the heart grow fonder philosophy!
When I am with them I DO appreciate so them so much more!!! Plus it gives me a mental break from having to care for them 24/7 and I for one need that!

When I get home in the afternoon, I am 100% devoted to them. We cook dinner together..play together..watch movies together..whatever it is they want to do. Then after they go to bed, I do the laundry, the cleaning up of dishes and the housework! That is a rule I stick to..in the evenings, I am their mom, nothing else! Which really helps me feel better about being both a mom and Nichole! I think it's so important to retain your own identity even after becoming a mother and wife..so many people get lost in motherhood and losing who you are as a person isn't healthy! Plus, when I'm feeling blue about working instead of being home with them, I think about a lot of SAHM's who may be physically there with their children, but that doesn't mean they are spending quality time with them. Being a part of online baby boards for the last few years has been really eye opening for me. When I say this, I want to point out that I'm not refering to anyone here, but I've seen sahm's who spend all day online ...sure they're providing the necessities for their kids..like food and diaper changes..but I'm not sure how much more stimulation a mother could provide for her child when she's online the entire day!!!
But those are extreme cases..in the end, we all have to do what's best for us and our families and that's a personal decision that no one else should or can influence!

NikkiM replied: AWWW Hugs hun! I am a WOHM, I am fortunate to have a job where I work evenings, so I am home all day with the kids. Working to better your family will never make you a bad mom! When I was growing up my mom had to work also, I was sad when she couldn't be home with us, but I admired her for doing what she had to do to help us. Cherish the time you are home with the kiddos!

six_kids_at_28 replied: THANKS LADIES!!!! Awww... you know how to bring someones self esteem right back up