Want to Relactate?
Maddy'sMom wrote: Hi Ladies,
Let me introduce myself- I have a beautiful daughter Madison Grace, and I am seeking some advice on possibly relactating. It has now been almost 10 weeks since I stopped bf due to many problems. She was bf until 6 weeks old, she will be 4 months on the 19th. I have recieved much advice and suggestions from other places, but am still unsure as to the success I would have at this point. If it was a few weeks after I had stopped, I would not be questioning it at all!
She does not have any problems, and she tolerates her formula very well with no problems and is growing wonderfully. She is the happiest little girl I have ever seen! 
The reason for my interest in relactation is that I now feel I gave up too soon, and after a few weeks I realized that the sadness and diappointment was not going away, and now I just don't feel it is going to at all. I miss that relationship with her so much, and I want to provide her with the nutritional benefits as well. Each time she has the sniffles, I think to myself, if I could just give her some breastmilk!! I have such a strong urge and instinct to nurse her, that it just won't go away!
I have a Medela PIS Advanced. She does not latch on great, but that is because there is no milk and she is not that patient! So my thinking is that I should begin pumping and take it from there.
Does anyone have some honest advice, or know anyone who has took on such a task after so long? I spoke with a LLL leader and she encouraged me to go for it...reminding me how very difficult it would be. She said it could take 8-12 weeks to get back on track, and by then she is near 6 months old! I just don't know if I can do it.
Please help!
MomToMany replied:  Congratulations for giving breastfeding a second chance! If you feel the strong instinct to nurse her, then let her nurse. Make sure she is latched on correctly. A baby nursing is so much better than any breast pump to stimulate milk production.
Kellymom.com has wonderful information on breastfeeding. There are lots of ideas and tips in there.
I'm nursing my 2 1/2 yr. old and my 8 month old. It's such a special relationship; I treasure it! Sometimes it gets frustrating, but that passes quickly.
Good luck! I hope it works out for you!
jcc64 replied: I would agree that kellysmom is the BEST site for any and all bf questions. LLL is also great, but it sounds like you already have that covered.
I just recently weaned my dd, who is over 2 yrs old. 6 months is not too old to receive all the wonderful benefits of bf- I wouldn't let that be a reason to stop you. (BTW, a little known fact is that the pretty conservative American Academy of Pediatrics actually reccommends bf for TWO YEARS if possible).
I also have the Medela PIS- it's a great pump, and I would highly reccommend that you pump as often as you can. I also had the Advent Isis for those times when I needed to pump in a bathroom stall/didn't have the room/time/privacy to use the PIS. Also a great pump. I don't think your baby will really get the "point" unless and until she can actually get some payoff for all the hard work. Oatmeal and beer REALLY increased my supply. One bowl of oatmeal in the morning, one beer at night, and I swear I could double or triple my output. I admire your conviction, and I wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted.
DansMom replied: Give it your best shot. You've got a great pump and a lot of motivation. I can remember the frustration and disappointment I felt when it seemed like my body wasn't providing what baby needs. In retrospect, I wish I had been easier on myself and forgiven my own body for not always cooperating---I hope you will stick with it and remember to congratulate/reward yourself after each pumping session, even if you get nothing. It sounds like you're getting good advice and encouragement.
Maddy'sMom replied: Thanks for your encouragement!
It is a difficult decision- it is quite a task to take on after ten weeks of not breastfeeding. I am worried about my expectations, I do not know what to expect and am trying to be realistic. I am willing to do the work- to pump every 2-3 hours to stimulate my milk, and I am also considering using a Lact Aid supplementer- it was recommended to me several times over the Medela SNS. I do not know if I will produce an adequate milk supply in order to bf exclusively, but that is not my main concern with this process. If I can provide half of her nutritional needs via breastmilk, I would be so complete! It is primarily the emotional relationship I desire to get back, and even if she would be willing to nurse again for 2-3 times per day, I think that would fulfill the needs I am feeling.
The main problem is that she has been on bottles for over two months now, and I do not think she is crazy about the breast! I have tried a few times just placing her at the breast, and she has sucked once or twice, but she expects milk and isn't messing around with patience. So I do not know where to go next, I think maybe I just need to get my milk back through pumping, and then get her to the breast when there is something there for her.
I know it sounds selfish, but I hope someone out there can understand and offer some advice. I have a hard time thinking about the comittment this process will involve- she sleeps through the night most of the time now, and I fear starting all over with her schedule. She seems content with the way things are, and is so happy and healthy. I do not want to stress her out, and my husband is worried about me- the physical and emotional aspects that relcatation would involve. Basically I was told by a LLL leader that this process would take over my life for 2-3 months, and that it would need to be my only priority. With the holidays, I am not sure I could even keep up with the pumping schedule, and so forth. That is why this choice is so hard for me. I do not mind pumping and giving her expressed milk in the meantime, but my goal is for her to be back at the breast- not just eating my milk from a bottle. So I also fear that I will never get to that ultimate goal, and I will just spend more waking and non waking hours with that darn pump!!!
HELP! Is it too late to begin something this serious and time consuming? 
MomToMany replied: It IS a personal decision. No one can make it for you. You have to decide if it's really what you want to do deep down inside, or just an overwhelming guilty feeling that is fueling this desire.
There's no harm in trying it.
DansMom replied:  It does sound like a difficult decision on all kinds of levels, between what you really want and need, and the total commitment and possible disappointment. And the difficulty.
jcc64 replied: I think it's doable, really. I think it's a slight exaggeration on the LLL consultant's part that it can be the only thing you can focus on for the next 2 months. Sure, it's time consuming, and kind of annoying to spend so much time pumping. But if that's what's important to you, you'll find a way to integrate it into the rest of your daily activities. Give it a shot, if you don't at least try you might regret it later on. If it doesn't work out, at least you'll know you gave it your best effort, and in the end, your dd sounds like she'll be fine either way.
candlesncoupons replied: With my first I bf for about 6 weeks, both Josie and I were crying with each feeding. (I know now she was not latching on right) But finally my husband convinced me to quit. what i did was pumped for about a week while my nipples healed and my husband would feed her out of the bottle what I had pumped @ the last feeding. After about 7-10 days my nipples were healed (they had been bleeding and cracked) I tried to get Josie back onto the breast. She was crying each time and totally unhappy about it. She was happy with the bottle and the formula. She is now 3 1/2, happy and healthy. My son who is 10.5 monthes old is bf only and doing great. Josie has always been very healthy, Tommy (bf only) has had RSV and Whooping cough. He's not in daycare, and very healthy other than those 2 illnesses. I decided that my desire to return to bf w/Josie was about me and not what was best for her. I knew I'd try agian with my next child. That's only my story of my exp with returning to bf. The bottom line is it's your choice, but also affects your husband. talk with him, is he supportive? (mine was not) That will make a big difference in your sucess. Do you have any other support system?
What ever choice you make will be the right one for you and you child.
Lovingly,
Stacey
Josie 10-3-01
Tommy 1-16-04
Maddy'sMom replied: Thanks for all the advice!
Your experience with Josie sound just like me and my girl..she was so frustrated and would cry, and I would get frustrated and cry- and I was so sore, even at 6 weeks- it is truly a viscous cycle! I do not think she latched well either, and the more I forced her I think now that I turned her off to bf. A lc told me that the more pressure they feel, they will turn away from it, and form an aversion, learning to associate it with negative things.
It was reassuring that you shared your story, and that your Josie is very healthy- I truly believe the benefits of breastmilk are immense, but also that prevention goes a long way for illness, rather your baby is fed formula or breastmilk.
My dh is very supportive, but also voices his concerns that relactation would cause great stress...and he worries about the effect it will have on me- the exhaustion, the soreness, the endless pumping and demands placed on me.
I like what you said, my desire to bf again is all about ME, not my daughter- she knows no different, she is happy and absolutely thriving. It is me that wants that realtionship back, and why should I force her back to something she never really felt comfortable with?
Thanks for your honest advice!
Schnoogly replied: Don't forget that any amount of breastmilk is gold--and many moms "exclusively pump" that is, just feed expressed milk in a bottle. If you can pump half of what she needs, that's so good for her even if she never goes back to the breast. Also, don't think of it as being all about you--you obviously have the instinct to mother your baby, and she wasn't given the chance to really learn to BF. It can be difficult when you don't have the right support.
We had a difficult BF start too, I exclusively pumped for 6 weeks before he learned to latch. He is turning 2 in a couple of weeks and still BFs even though i have no milk left. he does it for comfort, mostly. you can read our story here
http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/pump_room.html
Also, what helped me the most was a medication called domeridone. I took 90mg a day (bought from an online pharmacy--not available here in teh states) and it doubled my supply. You can read about it here
http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/prescr...lactagogue.html
Maddy'sMom replied: Steph, your story was amazing! Wonderful that you kept at it and it was so worth it!! I am so glad your baby is well now!!
My SIL developed preeclampsia, and had to deliver her first child at 27 weeks! Little Olivia was slightly under 2 pounds. No one thought she would live. To everyone's absolute amazement, she is now this 18 month old, 24 pound devil on wheels, she has more energy than she knows what to do with! She stayed in the NICU for 78 days, and my SIL pumped her heart out until she came home. The nurses in the NICU told her the breastmilk was the "gold" that made little Olivia grow and thrive in that incubator. She did not continue pumping, and Olivia never ate at the breast, but that beginning was enough to keep that fragile life alive!
You are right, I could pump exclusively if my dd would not latch on or will refuse the breast, but that is what I was doing before, and one of the reasons I stopped. I DO realize the immense benefits of breastmilk, even giving expressed milk half of the time- but that was not my PRIMARY goal when I wanted to bf....I would LOVE to give her that nurtional benefit, but the reason I wanted to relactate is to regain that relationship that I never really had- we had so many problems and so little support that each nursing session was like work for us, ending in impatience and frustration, one or both of us crying. I had a few rare moments when she was looking up into my eyes, smiling, and getting all that she needed from me, in that warm rocker in her nursery in the wee hours of the night. Those moments were RARE, but that is my motivation for starting over.
I have my moments when I think, by the time this process is underway, she will be nearly 6 months old, but then I think, so what...she could go on to bf for another year or more! It is absolutely amazing to me, the act of bf, and what we are blessed with as mothers to be able to give our babies...
Thanks for the encouragement!
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