Was I wrong in what I said?

MommyToAshley wrote: Ashley is having her party at Pump It Up again this year. Their weekend party allows for up to 25 kids and Ashley invited 26. I am thinking that there will probably be at least one kid if not more that won't be able to make it. So far everyone that I've talked to is coming.

The Mom of one of her friends asked if she could bring her younger brother. Part of me wanted to say "no" because he is very rough and often out of control. However, I told her that Ashley invited the maximum number of kids that the party allowed for, and that she could bring him but it was $10 for each additional child. After I said that, she just paused for a very long time, followed by an "Ok".

What would you have done?

cameragirl21 replied: I think the mom was trying to dump both kids on you for free babysitting and expected you to be ok with it. I don't see how the younger brother would enjoy himself among a bunch of 6 year old girls but that's none of my concern. I don't see anything wrong with what you did although I probably wouldn't have brought up the cost, I'd just have said that I'm sorry but we invited the maximum number of kids allowed, maybe next year, etc.
But I do think she was just trying use you for free child care and was upset it didn't work out for her. Hope Ashley has the best bday party ever.

MommyToAshley replied: I probably should have just said we had invited the max, but then I was trying to consider the fact that she may not have had a sitter and may have had to bring him or Ashley's friend wouldnt' be able to come. But, then I can't pay for every sibling that wants to come either.

boyohboyohboy replied: I think I might have just added that to the invites, that you invited the max and that anyone wishing to bring siblings would have to pay the additional cost.

luvmykids replied: I think you handled it fine, I get snagged on that situation every year and I hate it, I wish people would just not ask

jcc64 replied: I think you did the right thing Dee Dee. You shouldn't be expected to cover the expense of siblings. You are acknowledging her lack of childcare by offering to let him participate, and asking her to assume the financial responsibility for her own uninvited kid is entirely reasonable. Honestly, her extended pause seems a little rude--designed to make you feel uncomfortable, which it seems it has.
I would have done exactly as you did, Dee Dee.

julesmom replied: I think it was rude of her to ask if the younger sibling could come in the first place. My kids get invited to parties all the time and I never ask if another could go. I'd only do that if they were good friends, and then all 3 of my kids would have been on the invite in the first place.

I would have just said you were only allowed 25 guests and that is how many you invited and how many rsvp'd. Sorry. Maybe another time.

I don't think you should feel badly.

She was rude for pausing.

mammag replied: I agree, I think you handled it just fine! If someone doesn't come you could always tell her you are now under and it would be fine....but if he's hard to handle just leave it as is.

stella6979 replied:
I absolutely agree. I think you handled it perfectly.

sparkys2boys replied: I agree with what you did also. I mean you just don;t invite another child to a party like that.. geeesh.. what are people thinking now adays

mckayleesmom replied: Being a mom of 2 who has never used a babysitter...I personally would want to be there to watch my child. Mckaylee does alot of stuff and I usually have no choice but to drag Russell along too. I would never ask that he be invited to the festivities though. I think you handled it perfect. I personally would just pay for my extra child and keep him occupied with me.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
makes sense.

i'm assuming that the mom would have been sticking around for the party? Do you have to pay for the adults? Do they have to pay for themselves?

i'd have asked... but i'd have asked in a way that wouldn't have been uncomfortable.. sort of like - asking if you rathered I be there to help supervise, and if the answer was yes, I'd have asked if it was ok if I brought my other kids, at my own cost, if I wasn't able to find alternate care for them at that time...

Nina J replied: I would have done the same thing you did. If she wants to bring the sibling, then it should be her responsibility to pay the extra cost. I don't see why anyone would have a problem with it, it's only $10.

mckayleesmom replied:
I totally lied in this post. I forgot that I used that playdate babysitting service a couple weeks ago.

lisar replied: What you said was fine. It was nice and not mean and straight to the point

grandma replied: Considering how expensive a party is at Pump It Up, you can't afford to have tag alongs! You did the right thing!

mommymommy replied: I think you absolutley did the right thing!!
What mother would ask if they could bring another kid to your child's birthday party?
That is just tacky!!
You handled it truthfully and tactfully!!!
You go girl!

Kaitlin'smom replied: I think you did fine.

Calimama replied: I think you handled it well. You can't be expected to pay for everyones sibling's!

A&A'smommy replied: I would have done the same thing