What can I do about DH?

Nina J wrote: We're trying to think of a girls name, and got our list down to 6, but we thought of a few new names we really like so we added them. Then Chris tells me he really likes the name JonBenet and said we should add it to the list...am I the only one that relates it to JonBenet Ramsey, the little girl who was murdered? It's just what I automatically think of it when I hear the name. Chris said he doesn't think of it and no one else will. So he put it on the list and said he's entitled to his input anyway, and he doesn't like the name Suzy or Ada or Jean, but he let me put them on the list (he never said he didn't like them before )
Whats worse is we decided that soon, when we get to 15 names we really like, we are going to put them in a hat, pick out 3 and put them in another hat, and pick out one. But I'm to afraid to take JonBenet of the list because he got so angry and upset, but he was more upset, like literally on the verge of tears because I didn't want it on the list.
Should I leave it and just see what happens with the final picking of a girls name. There is a 50/50 chance of a boy anyway. But I'm worried we'll have a girl and JonBenet will come out of that hat and I won't have the guts to upset Chris by refusing.

Half of me thinks this is just so stupid, but the other half is worried and stressed about it Should I demand we take it of the list or leave it???

CAMSMOM1 replied:

That's the first thing I thought of too, the little girl who got murdered. I'm not sure if I could have that as my daughters name.

Have you asked him why he wants that name so badly?

MM'sMama replied: In all honesty thats the first thing I thought of too, the JonBenet Ramsey murder. But that could be because I am from the same state it happened in, and althought I didn't know her on a personal level I knew her through pageants (my mom used to put me in them ). However that was a very tragic thing that happened and it still saddens me. I wish that people didn't associate the name with her always but I am guilty of it too.

But I think that if you really truly don't like the name and don't want to have to live with it forever talk to you DH. Be honest and let him know how you feel about it and that you can in know way live with calling your daughter that forever. I would also mention that there are other names on the list ones you both like and wouldn't that be better? A name you both agreed on. I hope that helped good luck.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I personally couldn't name a daughter JonBenet. And I am willing to bet that if she hadn't been murdered, your DH wouldn't have ever thought of the name. I would sit him down and try to reason it through with him. And don't let any name that gets pulled out of a hat get chosen if you [U]both don't love it.

gr33n3y3z replied: I thought of her also when you said that name

C&K*s Mommie replied: Like everyone else I thought of that name and related it to JonBenet Ramsey, unlike hime I think more people will relate it to her, than he thinks.

I would comprimise with him, and come up with a name you both love- together. That is how we came up with our girls' names, it was a comprimise. A lot of back and forth, but it worked in the end, since we agreed together.

Good luck!

luvmykids replied: Thats the first thing I thought of too. And you have to like the name as much as he does, I'm still kicking myself for not naming Kylie after my grandma.

jcc64 replied: Was JonBenet even a name before the infamous murder? I assumed it was some sort of amalgam of the parents' names that they made up into a rather pretentious and goofy sounding name (sorry to your dh). I highly doubt anyone would associate anything but that murder case with that particular name.
I think a better way to deal with a name conflict is to immediately eliminate any and all names that either of you is adamantly opposed to. There are so many names out there- it seems entirely unnecessary to saddle a child with a name that either parent can't stand. The name in the hat thing is ok, as long as the names in there are ALL ones that you both can live with.
And one word of advice about picking names- keep it between you and dh. In my experience, I would leave grandparents, friends, etc, out of the decision making process. It's hard enough to get a consensus between the 2 of you, why complicate the process? With my 2nd and 3rd kids, I refused to reveal the name until after the decision was made, after which point one would hope people would feel compelled to keep their mouths shut.

moped replied: I thought of the murder as well - sorry

NEWMOM05 replied: My first thought is the little girl who was muredered. I wouldn't be able to have a daughter with that name. Ib would think of it constantly. Also how would your daughter feel if she realized what most think she was named after. Yuck!!

mckayleesmom replied: I thought of her too......and to be honest....that is not a name I would pin on a child...I always wondered how they came up with that.

1lilpeanut2love replied: Please, please don't name your child that!! That was so sad of a story. I had never heard of that name before, before I heard about the little murdered girl. Tell him NO WAY!! I could and would never, never name my child that. NO WAY!!!!

Nina J replied: Thanks for the replies. I will have to talk to him. He likes the name because he thinks it's unusual and he just likes it, which I understand.
So, I think I'll say we should only have names we both like on the list, which means he can take the names I like but he doesn't off. Hopefully that'll make him less upset about the whole thing.
Thanks for the advice, it really helped

CosmetologyMommy replied: Has he always liked that name so much?

~~*Missi*~~ replied: ok yes i thought of that little precious girl that was married, but when people say Fred, I think of this loser, long story, you say Jenn I think of a female dog (not literally either)....Names if you have heard them with tragedies, murderers, rapers, or someone you were friends with that wasn't so great you associate that name with that experience of at least MOST people do...
I am not sayiing jonbenet is a name i would pick cause personally i think its ugly i don't know i just don't think of a little girl when i hear it.

Chris (DH) and I went thru this with the names with Sabrina. I get the teenage witch ALL THE TIME with sabrina its annoying and i say politely ohhh creative never heard that before (ok so its not polite LOL)......
We went thru a list of names etc... when i was 22 weeks I started dilating and effacing..At that point the name wasn't as important as her coming out alive. So I just said you know what Chris just pick the first I get the middle name (names). Next kid we swap. He agreed and we did that. It doesn't work for all but it made us stop. Yeah he still ask my opinion on names and Sabrina won because we can call her sabrina or bri
Sabrina also means Princess which to me she is my princess!

So he came up with
Sabrina
Lynne Maria (pronounced Mariah)
I came up with lynne for my sister and maria for my grandmother!
jsut a thought

redchief replied: As famous and as much publicity as that case got, I don't see how anyone could NOT think of that name immediately. I don't know how anyone could name their daughter JonBenet either.

Nina J replied:
He's liked it for awhile. He's read about JonBenet Ramsey, probably a long time ago, but he's not much of a reader or one to follow the news. He just browes through newspapers, and in this case he read the name and heard it on the news ages ago and thought it was a nice name. But he's not the kind of person who associates names with people, KWIM? He doesn't think anyone would associate JonBenet with JonBenet Ramsey.

I talked to him, and we decided that we would only put names we both liked on our list. And we are also making compramises. We decided that the middle name if it is a boy will be Benet, because I had to agree with DH that Ciaran Benet sounds nice. And also I like Benet as a male name, and the meaning (blessed).

We are two names away from 15 for girls names, so pretty soon we will be picking one. Even though some of the names I like are off the list, we've added names that we both really love. DH told me some girls names he really liked, and 3 of them were names I really liked but didn't mention because I thought he'd hate them