What do you do when

coasterqueen wrote: your child likes playing with someone that you don't like their family? Ok, we have this neighbor from HE...you know where across the road from us. The grandparents live there and the daughter's 5 year old burnt down her home with a candle so the daughter and her two boys 5 and 7 are living with the grandparents. Follow me so far? hee hee.

Anyways, so now the kids are constantly at my house - CONSTANTLY . They are loud and obnoxious, but I'm dealing with that. The problem is the grandmother sends them over constantly AND keeps asking if Kylie can come over to play. I've made excuses so far as to why not. Dh won't let her go over there until we meet EVERYONE who lives in that house. They are - how do I put this - a bit trash IMO. The things they feed that poor kid for breakfast. Ick! Anyways, they are no where NEAR my style of parenting - living in general. Gosh I sound like a snob.

So what do you do when you REALLY don't want your child going over to their house????

I keep telling DH we are MOVING. I can't stand these people and they are driving me insane.

luvbug00 replied: ITA with you. there is no way in haties that my kid would go over to that house. i guess the only thing to do is find any excuse you can "we are going out to..." or I have things to do or somthing!!! I hope they will get the hint then and leave you alone more.( as they sound pretty persistant i doubt they will leave you alone compleately. )

gr33n3y3z replied: hmm how do you know what they eat if your child doesnt go over there?
Sorry had to ask lol

Dont light candles in your house then you will be safe

As for as ppl. being trash what is your deff. of trash?

I dont know what to tell you I think everyone at sometime didnt want their kids playing with others sometimes its just not avoidable
Good Luck

Oh I forgot maybe if you played outside with the kids the mother will come out and talk to you and you can get to know her. Just an idea LOL

luvmykids replied: That's a tough one for me, I'm sort of dealing with something similar....except I like the kid, just not the parents. I don't have the prob where they send him over or anything but I just don't know how far to let the relationship btwn Colt and this kid go which is a bummer b/c they've really hit it off

coasterqueen replied:
Well I don't just mean food. The people are VERY STRANGE. The grandmother is rather wacko. I thought maybe I was being too harsh but I asked other neighbors who thinks she not all there, either. Now I've met the daughter. She stands at the bus stop with me every morning and I even invited her and the boys over to Kylie's birthday party. I really like the mother, but she just lives a different style of life than me. I know that's not a reason to not like someone or want your kids around them, but I really don't want Kylie picking up bad habits like that. It would be fine if they saw each other every once in awhile, but they want to play every day.

I'm not sure if trash is the word per se. I'm not sure how to describe them. They are just very very strange.

I know that this may be unavoidable - this is why I told Dh were are moving or he's dealing with it.

coasterqueen replied:
For the most part I like the boys too. They do annoy the crap out of me when I tell them Kylie has to get a bath or eat dinner so they have to go home. They make me repeat it at least 10 times before they will go. I usually have Kylie walk them to the road and Kylie will get right up when I tell them it's time, but they just sit there and stare at me like "yeah right, we'll leave when we leave". Most of the things that bother me about them is just boys being boys. My girls are tom boys and rough, but these boys are VERY rough and obnoxious. I'm glad I have girls.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Karen, I don't think you are wrong for feeling the way you do. You are right, it's not a reason to not like something, but just because you like someone doesn't mean their children would be a good influence on your children. I like my cousin, heck, I love my cousin dearly, but her child (even though I love him dearly as well) is a bad influence on Tanner, it's just a fact. In my book, a large difference in life styles is a big deal to me, especially if my child is going to be going over to that person's house. Children this age are very formative, and it's important for them to have positive influences, not negative ones.

gr33n3y3z replied:
I agree to a certain extent
Kids will be exposed to every walks of life and its up to us to teach them positive influences as you said but the world is full of negative ones also and for children to grow up healthy they need both by then the child should know right from wrong and ignore the negative ones unless the child lives in a bubble then they will have a rude awaking.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I agree Lisa, but I wouldn't push them into a situation when I know it would be a bad influence. It's not about living in a bubble to me, it's about making sure my child hangs around the positive influences and not the bad ones. I would never knowlingly let my child hang around another child who will just bring him down and rub off on him in a super negative way, or another lifestyle that is completely opposite of what we believe is ok...that to me would be irresponsible parenting.

gr33n3y3z replied:
Oh yeah I agree with that but once they get in school you have no control at all thats what I'm saying bc you cant go with them so they have to learn to deal with it at some point and hope what you teach them stays in their little mixed up brains

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Oh definitly. I know I can only do so much as to who he hangs out with at school, but I sure as heck wont allow those children in my home or him over there if I know full well they will not be a good influence. I think the most important thing to do is make sure they know it's important to hang around others who practice right versus wrong. What we tell Tanner..."be a leader, don't follow others who are being naughty, and pick nice friends". So far he's doing ok....but he's also only in K! He told me the other day who the "naughty" kid was in class and he said "don't worry mommy, I don't follow what he does". Weewooo.

gr33n3y3z replied:

kimberley replied: btdt. i couldn't deny my son because i wasn't thrilled with his friend's mom but i kept the playdates at a bare minimum. this will happen a lot, get used to it lol.